[–]▶ No.47713[Last 50 Posts]>>47714 >>47752 >>47757 >>47785 >>66788 [Watch Thread][Show All Posts]
Let's assume you actually end up randomly being teleported into Gensokyo. What do you actually do?
Even if you speak moonrunes, the centuries of isolation probably mean that the locals speak some very antiquated or otherwise hard to understand dialect of Japanese. The only inhabitants who may perhaps speak English are the Scarlet sisters or you'd need to have one of the Satoris read your mind.
And even then, you're pretty screwed as a normal human unless you directly end up in the human village. Toxic vapors, man-eating Youkai and god knows what going after you if you so much as set a foot out of it.
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▶ No.47714 >>66885
>>47713 (OP)
Destroy everything and kill everyone.
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▶ No.47715 >>47768
Get to the human village ASAP. Then find Keine or Reimu to help from there. From there, one of the followkng can happen.
1. Reimu ends up dropping me outside of Gensokyo. It's then a hike through Japanese wilderness until I can get a ride to a US Embassy and back home.
2. I'm stuck in Gensokyo. At that point, get Keine to help teach me how to speak Japanese and get to know the layout. Hopefully try and find Marisa, Alice, or Patchouli to learn magic so I can defend myself. Biggest thing would be nice to Reimu, make donations to her shrine, and try to become friends with her.
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▶ No.47716
Getting to the village and learning to speak better are kinda obvious. After that, I'd like to study under Miko. Wonder if I could still get out or if I'd just have stay and marry some village girl and so on. I'd like to meet Yuugi but it's kinda impossible without amazing powers.
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▶ No.47719 >>47728 >>47752 >>47800
Make Reimu fall in love with me.
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▶ No.47728 >>47733
>>47719
>trying to NTR both Marisa and Yukari
You wanna die, son?
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▶ No.47729 >>47730 >>47731 >>47737
How crazy would it be for a guy to want to go down to old hell to ask Okuu to go on a date with him?
This is after learning old Japanese from Keine first.
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▶ No.47730 >>47731
>>47729
Not as crazy as me. I would go on a journey to look for Mima.
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▶ No.47731 >>47732 >>47736 >>47737
>>47729
I think we had a discussion how exceedingly painful a relationship with Okuu would be given that it ends with death by radiation poisoning (assumig the fires of Old Hell won't simply vaporize you the moment you enter.
>>47730
What's with all the love for Mima. She doesn't even have legs.
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▶ No.47732 >>47734
>>47731
She's an anti-hero who has a habit of lying. She also happens to be the closest Touhou gets to a lich.
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▶ No.47733 >>47734 >>47735
>>47728
Shut the fuck up Jewkari, you scared?
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▶ No.47734 >>47753
>>47732
It's still kind of odd. Few PC-98 characters get the same amount of love or calls for being reintroduced to canon.
And as for Lichs - aren't Magicians exactly that? No need to eat, no aging, etc. They're not Undead, but Lichs only become Undead because their mortal bodies won't stop aging.
>>47733
I know someone who should be.
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▶ No.47735
>>47733
I'm not that guy. Then again, I'm not much of a Yukarifag these days.
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▶ No.47736 >>47739
>>47731
Where there's a will, there's a way. All you need is magic. Basically, buff up on heat and radiation resistance spells. Apply them on yourself, then apply permanency.
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▶ No.47737 >>47739
I would go ask Meiling a date. After having learnt jap form Keine, and stayed a bit in the village to get familiar with the place and all. Plus I'd like to learn magic from Patchouli. And study hard to try and become a magician.
So I'd like to become a non-stealing man version of Marisa basically.
>>47729
>>47731
Are we sure that Eirin doesn't have anything to counter that?
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▶ No.47739 >>47740
>>47737
Eirin has a way to counter everything, but with how ravaging radiation sickness is to the body, you probably need some really fucking large pills to set that off.
Naturally, you could always drink the Hourai elixir. Even if the thing with Okuu doesn't work out, you could still try to get into the pants of Mokou (Eirin prolly won't allow you to get into Kaguya's).
>>47736
That is easier said than done. How many decades did Alice need to become a magician? For how long has Marisa tried to become one?
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▶ No.47740
>>47739
Now who said anything about becoming a magician. All you need is an existing magician to enchant the living fuck out of you in return for some favors. That, mixed with whatever Eirin makes, can take care of radiation easily enough.
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▶ No.47752 >>47761
>>47719
You're progeny would have plot armor a mile thick
>>47713 (OP)
Get to the Scarlet Estate and beg them to bite me with their cute little fangs. Lose weight at an alarming rate as a result, only muscle left. Cum in Flan 11 times a day, scour the wilderness for sources of zinc and potassium I'll need to continue shooting my goo, raise a little of cute little blonde dhampier babies with Flan. Extreme risk, extreme reward.
Or maybe try to get ambushed by Rumia, then overpower her, drag her home and gently dominate her and make her my wife. Moderate risk, pretty high reward.
Alice might speak English, but she lives in a dangerous place, really no good for raising kids and my commute is far more likely to get me killed that the one I have in real life. High risk, high reward.
Satori was unknown to the gang up until SA, so meeting her is unlikely. No risk, high reward, but negligible probability.
Yuuka is a nice lady no matter what Akyuu says. I'd flirt with her if possible, but be careful to be too aggressive. Low risk elevated by language barrier, pretty high reward.
And if I die, I can try for Yuyuko and her ghostly softness.
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▶ No.47753 >>47763
>>47734
According to ZUN, all I need to say is "youkai do not acutally exist" and peach to the entire human village towards enlightenment. Reimu would find me to be extremely charming, and I don't have to use dark magic like a low class barbarian.
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▶ No.47757 >>47763
>>47713 (OP)
Acquire best waifu prepackaged with best daughteru or die trying
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▶ No.47758
Never learn the language, never fraternize with the locals, die alone a rainy spring day.
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▶ No.47761 >>47784
>>47752
If you die, you'd most likely be sent to hell by the yama instead. Or if you somehow are concious enough to reach hakugyokurou instead of crossing the sanzu, youmu would probably kick you out or cut you before even being able to reach yuyuko.
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▶ No.47762
try to bait yuuka into stepping on me
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▶ No.47763
>>47753
Wouldn't Reimu actually hate your guts if you think Youkai out of existence? Not so much because she'd lose her job as a Youkai exterminator, but because this would upset the natural balance of Gensokyo.
>>47757
So long as Yukari allows you to take away her "tool". Then again, maybe she'd allow it if you join the Yakumo household as a servant, but I doubt her Youkai pride would allow for that.
Coming to think of it, does the Byakuren temple allow for human disciples, or are they Youkai-only? Sure, it'd be no meat or alcohol and benis in bagina with Nue or the other girls also is out of the picture, but you'd be relatively safe and would get the occasional hug made in heaven from Byakuren herself.
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▶ No.47766
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▶ No.47768 >>47769 >>47774
>>47715
>He thinks Gensokyo exists physically
>He thinks Gwnsokyo isn't a figment of Yukari's imagination
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▶ No.47769 >>47774
>>47768
>He thinks Yukari actually exists
>He thinks Yukari isn't just Maribel's Avatar inside her Dream
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▶ No.47774 >>47777
>>47768
>>47769
>Implying Gensokyo doesn't already exist through heavy application of meme magic by internet autists.
Imagine the fun Kek would have in Gensokyo.
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▶ No.47777 >>47779 >>47784 >>65530
>>47774
>implying Kek isn't already in Gensokyo
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▶ No.47779
>>47777
>those quads
Kek is with us.
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▶ No.47784
>>47761
Why would she do this?
>>47777
Czeched and Kekked
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▶ No.47785
>>47713 (OP)
Conquer the gensokyo and have sex with all of the touhous
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▶ No.47797 >>47799 >>47822 >>65495 >>65499
I wonder what the scale is.
>inb4 space-time is convoluted in Gensokyo
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▶ No.47799
>>47797
Probably about like your average open world game.
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▶ No.47800
>>47719
Let's hope neither of us are transported to gensokyo at the same time. I'd rather not bash a fellow man of culture's head in with a rock.
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▶ No.47822
>>47797
>village one tile off the river
this is wrong
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▶ No.65495
>>47797
>THE GRAT YOUKAI FOREST
CONGRATZ MAN XD
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▶ No.65499 >>65500
Sneak to the human village, find keine to learn japanese, find kourindo and see if any board games passed through once in a while, go to the scarlet mansion, invite remi and flan to play a bit once or twice a week, build friendship with everyone in the mansion, study under patchy to extend my life (fuck the hourai elixir), meet yukari while she's making a delivery, befriend her, eventually become part of the youkai community pull kogasa's tongue when she jumps at me
>>47797
Did zun really draw that? The style is simple enough that it very well could be his work.
>grat
>grate
>shrin
>outsid
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▶ No.65500
>>65499
I don't think ZUN has drawn any map.
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▶ No.65529
Find a hourai immortal and eat their liver.
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▶ No.65530
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▶ No.65531
HookTube embed. Click on thumbnail to play.
>What do you actually do?
Lick all the armpits, no armpits will be left unlicked by me.
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▶ No.65538
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▶ No.65539
-Get some purification pills from Eirin
-Move to the moon
-Join the Lunar Defense Corps
-Purge filthy earthlings in the name of Lord Tsukuyomi
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▶ No.65541 >>65543 >>65544 >>65585 >>65610
Let's turn this around and say that Yukari, being in a particularly generous mood that day, allows you to take your waifu on a vacation in the real world for a day or two.
Where do you take her?
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▶ No.65543
>>65541
Home and give her the time off she deserves for working hard. Maybe show her videogames.
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▶ No.65544
>>65541
I'd take her to my home and then to some rural area near by, to be honest.
But if she really really wants to see the outside world i'd let her choose a destination instead with so many places to see, she'd have a hard time choosing though
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▶ No.65585 >>65586
>>65541
I take her to the water park and go see a firework show at night.
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▶ No.65586
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▶ No.65610 >>66789 >>66825
>>65541
detroit.
with a small stop in germany to steal pic related. we will need it to bury corpses somehow
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▶ No.66779 >>66785 >>66787
I've got a question for discussion, assuming the Gensokyo we'd get transported to is one where everyone speaks japanese, which characters would speak english? Maribel would probably still recognize it even after however long she spent in gensokyo. Patchouli might have picked it up so she could study some books she found. Scarlets I see as more have learned japanese from french rather than english, not sure why myself though. Worst case scenario is writing notes for kosuzu to read and maybe help you a bit. The goal would still be to learn japanese but gensokyo doesn't seem like the kind of place that would take the time to help a lost foreigner adapt. Gotta show you want to integrate.
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▶ No.66785 >>66810
>>66779
>Maribel would probably still recognize it even after however long she spent in Gensokyo.
If Yukari=Maribel, then she could probably just handwave away the border between Japanese or and English (or whatever you speak). Her summoning in European hobgoblins that seemingly speak perfect Japanese supports this.
>Patchouli might have picked it up so she could study some books she found.
Patchouli is said to be a western witch who studies eastern magic, so is more or less guaranteed to come from the outside world - presumably the same vague European area Remi herself is from. Some basic knowledge of English should be there, if its not her native language anyway.
>Scarlets I see as more have learned japanese from french rather than english, not sure why myself though.
Personally, I always thought they were British. Classical horror fiction with the mysterious ruler of the mansion, the murderous maid, the Asian servant, etc. That being said, it's all speculation.
>Worst case scenario is writing notes for Kosuzu to read and maybe help you a bit.
I'm curious what would happen if Satori would try to read your mind or Miko your desires, respectively.
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▶ No.66787
>>66779
Alice, Patchy, the vampires, Yukari, maybe Sakuya. Sanae may know rudimentary English as taught in Nippon's high schools.
Ultimately if you're not a total brainlet it still seems like the thing to do in Gensokyo is make friends with the magicians. Sanae is almost certainly a nice girl but her trade is drumming up faith and money from the country bumpkins. If you learn magic you can protect yourself and explore Gensokyo somewhat instead of cowering behind mommy Keine in the village trying not to get eaten. And since all the magicians are cute, lonely, borderline autistic girls that are unlikely to break out of their shell unless they have someone with which to bond over research of magic, this means they'll be your friends and love you.
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▶ No.66788 >>66825
>>47713 (OP)
I want to purge youkai, like Sanae. How would that make me "like a youkai"?
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▶ No.66789
>>65610
Could you please visit NYC and Hollywood too?
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▶ No.66810
>>66785
>If Yukari=Maribel, then she could probably just handwave away the border
Assuming that is a thing, what if she doesnt do that for you just to watch you struggle like some sadistic child with a new toy. We could forget about her teaching japanese for one. Also, until i see solid evidence to the contrary, yukari and mari are the same person to me.
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▶ No.66825 >>66826
>>65610
What is the purpose of this contraption?
>>66788
What do you mean?
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▶ No.66826 >>66829
HookTube embed. Click on thumbnail to play.
>>66825
>He doesn't know Bagger 288
This "contraption" was a top secret experimental weapons platform commissioned by the government of West Germany in the 1970s, when the growing instability of Communist East Germany led to worries that the Soviet Union might perform a military intervention to save its satellite state; drastically increasing its presence of arms near the inner German border and effectively producing a second Cuba crisis in the process.
Bagger 288 essentially was an heir to the much older "Schwerer Gustav" train artillery platform, wielding a super-heavy cannon capable of firing 800mm shells at any target inside the borders of East Germany or the bordering regions of other Warsaw Pact countries. However, the sights of the Bagger's main guns always were primed on Berlin, and more specifically, East Berlin - the administrative center and capital of East Germany. With the push of a single button, the West German military could not only cause a catastrophic loss of life on the other side of the wall, but also take out the core elements of their old enemy's strategic organization. That this likely would have resulted in severe collateral damage to West Berlin - still a part of West Germany - was an issue that only came to be discussed after the fall of the Iron Curtain, and the resulting scandal saw entire rows of high-ranking military and political personnel sacked.
Following the end of the Cold War, Bagger 288 was stripped of its primary and secondary armament and decommissioned. There were some brief plans to sell the platform to South Korea, where it would have served in a role eerily similar to its original one in West Germany, but the sheer size of the machine meant that transporting it would have cost more than the Koreans were willing to pay, and critics very vocally argued that the transfer would be seen as an act of aggression by China.
Bagger 288 is a bucket-wheel excavator used to strip mine coal fields. It used to be the largest land-based vehicle ever built before being surpassed by its sibling Bagger 293
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▶ No.66827 >>66831
I'd try finding Hell so the oni there could rape or kill me. I'd be fine with either.
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▶ No.66829
>>66826
I could have sworn I have seen this post before, but searching it, I see no signs of copypasta. Oh well. Wonder how Krupp is doing today.
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▶ No.66831
>>66827
Ambitious, fairy. Here's hoping they rape you first
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▶ No.66885
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