[–]▶ No.46905[Last 50 Posts]>>46906 >>46911 >>46956 >>55690 >>55761 [Watch Thread][Show All Posts]
How would they fuck it up, and how badly?
Real-life adaption or CGI instead of mongolian horse pictures?
Shoehorned in Western characters (well, except Clownpiece?
Complete disregard for background material like with Ringu?
____________________________
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▶ No.46906
>>46905 (OP)
>Hypothethical Worst-Case Scenario: Hollywood plans to make a 2hu movie
I go to Hollywood to stop them at any cost.
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▶ No.46910
CGI, CGI ruins everything. At least if it's a real-life adaptation there would be a lot of stuff to laugh at.
No need. All of the existing characters will be westernized.
Hardly a question.
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▶ No.46911 >>46912
>>46905 (OP)
> Scarlet Johanson plays Flandre
> Slutty 2hus most popular Halloween outfits for 20 something whores
> Radio playing endless UN Owen remixes, all with nigger lyrics
> Fumo toys sold at walmart
> Overdone hats become a fashion trend
> Normies thinking the original games are crappy knockoffs of the movie
Thankfully there is always brb gensokyo.
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▶ No.46912 >>46914
>>46911
Who are you quoting?
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▶ No.46914 >>46915
>>46912
Greentext is greentext. Its utility goes far beyond mere quotes. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=greentext
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▶ No.46915
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▶ No.46922 >>46924
The real question is: Which of the girls will be played by a black actor (or alternatively, how many of them) ?
I'd almost say Marisa as the mandatory black sidekick, but we can't have that since Marisa is a thief
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▶ No.46924 >>46926
>>46922
Marisa would be "white" (read: jew) and have a love interest with a black male patchy/alice/reimu (pick your poison) while solving an incident where everyone needs to check their privilege and let refugees into gensokyo. BBEG is a strong traditional ayran human who's evil for the sake of being evil and is always torturing the poor jews yokai(?).
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▶ No.46926
>>46924
The BBEG must also be a man.
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▶ No.46949
Have you seen Dragonball made by Hollywood? Yeah, that.
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▶ No.46956 >>46957 >>46964
>>46905 (OP)
It would be enabler of degeneracy like the new Ghostbusters and promoting race-mixing youkai and human propaganda.
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▶ No.46957 >>46958
>>46956
>that pic
Jesus Christ, how horrifying.
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▶ No.46958 >>46959
>>46957
not really, her eyes might be a little to large, though
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▶ No.46959
>>46958
It's mostly the mouth that's putting me off.
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▶ No.46964 >>47002
>>46956
So what that's makes canonical Rinnosuke?
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▶ No.47002 >>47063
>>46964
Black, and thoroughly heterosexual. (i.e., the exact opposite of what he actually is).
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▶ No.47063 >>47064
>>47002
1. But he's already a half breed. No need for him to darken up to push a race mixing moral.
2. What is the opposite of thoughly heterosexual? Ambiguously heterosexual? Asexual? Bisexual? I wish he was a full on homo so I can confess.
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▶ No.47064 >>47069 >>55626
>>47063
Let's see
>only active male character in the entire setting (safe for non-humanoids like Unzan)
>In contact with several dozen ct grills, direct contact with Reimu and Marisa, and likely Keine and the other Youkai living in the human village as well
>Could give all of them the D
>Does not give the D to any one of them
He's more gay than Freddy Mercury, for hell's sake.
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▶ No.47065
I want to race mix with Rumia
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▶ No.47069
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▶ No.55621 >>55622 >>55625
Suppose it was an animated movie - who would the English voice actors be?
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▶ No.55622
>>55621
me as the fortune teller
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▶ No.55625
>>55621
Me as Unzan. I have a particuliar voice I've been practicing on my own that I think would be perfect for him; it's a cross between Louie Armstrong, Fat Albert, and Murtaugh from Lethal Weapon. It'll give Unzan some much needed character. I even have a few lines I wrote for him, but since I don't have voice recording software I'll just put it in script format.
Ichirin: Oh no, the culprit is getting away! We have to stop him!
Unzan: DON CHU WORRY BOUT A THANG, ITCHY, I GOT THIS.
(Unzan proceeds to pick up Ichirin with one hand, then pitch her like a fastball at the escaping villain)
Unzan: GOTCHA BITCH!
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▶ No.55626
>>47064
>Implying women that he didn't choose won't be angry and spam danmaku at him.
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▶ No.55636 >>55637
I'll do you one better: Reimu gets into smash bros, what hell ensues?
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▶ No.55637 >>55722
>>55636
My Sonic x Yukari fanfictions will become one step closer to reality.
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▶ No.55638 >>55639 >>55640 >>55641 >>55646 >>55656 >>55722 >>55740 >>55759 >>60627
Fasten your seatbelts, niggers
>Sanae is given a much bigger role, as her being new to "Gensokyo" allows her to vessel the audience as they learn the setting, possibly putting her as the main character
>Story follows Sanae as she starts a new boarding school, but finds out that it's being attacked by creatures formed from nightmares by an evil witch named Yukari, so she meets up with the other monster hunter girls to fight evil and take the fight to the home of the monsters
>Youkai are constantly called "monsters"
>The writers think they are clever by calling them "youkai" when exposition dumping, but one character interrupts saying "I think I'll just call them 'monsters,' okay?"
>Reimu is given the trope of being the unwilling mentor
>Marisa and Cirno are now one character, being the comic relief hunter
>Sakuya is the quiet one that hangs around in shadows all day and doesn't get many action scenes, on account of her slaying the "monsters" almost instantly after seeing them, fitting the role of the character that makes you question why the fuck the rest of the main characters are needed
>Main character has a love interest that's a lighthearted Peter Pan expy with all of Sanae's whimsy from the games
>Rin is the token technogeek nigger that supplies exposition through his shop, with his role consuming Suzunaan's
>Flandre is pale with heavy lipstick and obnoxiously dyed hair, with highlights the same color as her wings.
>She is flanderized as being a psychopath and given more of a role than "extra boss of two games"
>When justified why she is siding with the youkai, Flandre is given the line "deep down, we're all monsters."
>Remilia is a preppy triantagonist
>Danmaku has been reduced from elaborate patterns to a small set of CGI models with neon colored flame effects based off of a character's personality (ex, Eirin just fires giant, flaming arrows, and only flaming arrows, Sanae is given "star shots", Marisa fires "sparkling cannon" lasers)
>Powers are simplified to their most common applications so-as not to confuse the audience (I.E. Yukari can "teleport things and use witchcraft", Remilia can just see into the future and is just manipulative)
>Sanae's powers are still "create miracles" which builds up a "chosen one" complex. Everyone in-universe treats this as something ambiguous and ominous
>Due to the large cast, not all characters are given screen time, but visual cues are given as nods to certain 2hus. I.E, at the school uniforms for the girls have white button-up shirts with teal skirts and red ties
>Alice is given three scenes, one where she is casually talking to the not-Sanae "hunters" to establish that she is a friend to them, second where she's talking with Sanae revealing that despite being offered to be made a hunter she turned the offer down, and third where the "monsters" are waging full scale war against the school of her slaying approximately three of them in a quick camera shot
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▶ No.55639 >>55641 >>55656 >>55722 >>55740 >>60627
>>55638
>Yukari's plot is to send the world into an "eternal blood night" where "monsters can roam free, kill as they please, and plunge the world into an intimate paradise" - the actual spell used is a combination of Remilia's scarlet mist, the Imperishable Night incident, and the frenzy stirred up by Okina's servants
>Her plan kicks off, the monsters attack, and all hell breaks loose with every character that was ever in the background suddenly gaining the powers of "monster hunting" to hold them back while the main characters take the battle to Yukari
>After Yukari is defeated, she's given a choice to atone for her crimes of attempting global genocide, but she denies it and escapes via teleportation
>Yukari teleports to the "realm of witches," where she talks with Okina and the Watasuki sisters in an obvious sequel hook
>Last conversation of the film goes as follows:
<Reimu and Sanae are looking out at the sunrise. Having given Sanae crap for being the newbie hunter, Reimu talking with her on equal terms is acknowledgment of her growth
<Sanae: "I'm just happy that we all made it through the night. It's a real miracle, don't you think."
<Reimu laughs, Sanae gives a "hmm?"
<Reimu: "It's funny, you know? We laughed at Rin for saying it, but then again we couldn't have done this without you, so I guess you did make a miracle happen after all."
<Sanae: "Is it really a miracle if someone makes it happen? I thought miracles were... you know... something special that happened, and you couldn't explain how, but in the end they make everything better?"
<Reimu: "...I guess they are..."
<Reimu smiles and walks away, the camera cropped on her lighthearted smile and the back of Sanae's head
<The final camera shot is of a side profile of Sanae's face with the sunrise shining on it while a few drumsticks tap
<The screen cuts to black with the most prominent credits as the instruments for a vocal remix of "Faith is for the Transient People" kick in, with credits being presented in debris from danmaku explosions
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▶ No.55640 >>55642
>>55638
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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▶ No.55641 >>55642
>>55638
>>55639
Why would Rin be in it of all people?
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▶ No.55642 >>55645
>>55641
>Going with the cut healer and not the hell cat to make that joke
Can't blame you though, it's not like the audience would be given a chance to learn his name is "Rinnosuke" besides in a quick comment where he corrects them to "call him Rin for short."
>>55640
Come on, sing it with me!
<"I, look deep inside, and feel my dreams open the door..."
<"So I can rise, un-compromised, and let my heart break free and soar..."
<"I'll... see through the fight, I won't feel afraid anymore"
<"And in my time... heart burning bright... driving my love forevermore..."
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▶ No.55645
>>55642
>joke
I genuinely thought he was talking about Rin.
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▶ No.55646
>>55638
That's a very nice picture you have there fairy.
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▶ No.55656
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▶ No.55690 >>55693 >>55722 >>55725 >>60628
>>46905 (OP)
>How would they fuck it up, and how badly?
>Real-life adaption or CGI instead of mongolian horse pictures?
How about rotoscoped CGI ie the polar express with prosthetics like Cat in the Hat live action.
>Shoehorned in Western characters (well, except Clownpiece?
No one cares or knows about these crazy japanese things in the source material, it's an adaptation. So big buku Hollywood stars. I'm talking
Lena Dunham as Raymoo
Amy Schumer as Mari-sass
Whoopi Goldber as Yuqarri
Directed by JJ Abrams.
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▶ No.55693 >>55696
>>55690
>Lena Dunham as Raymoo
>Amy Schumer as Mari-sass
Jesus christ, i know its a low quality joke, but reading that burns my soul
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▶ No.55696 >>55698 >>60628
>>55693
>low quality
Ouch that hurts. But I got others if you don't like that one. And by others I mean just bringing in more awesome casting choices. How about ==Kirsten Wiig as Flanderp grrrrl she so cray cray!==
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▶ No.55698
>>55696
Screwed up that redtext, off to sudoku myself.
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▶ No.55722 >>55725 >>55731
>>55637
>Sonic x Yukari fanfictions
....fairy.
>>55638
>>55639
On a scale from one to ten, I give this a DO NOT WANT.
>>55690
>Lena Dunham as Raymoo
>implying the proverbial big ham that is Dunham could play anyone else than Yuyuko.
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▶ No.55725 >>55727 >>60628
>>55722
>>55690
>Lena Dunham as Reimu
>Not Kristen Stewart
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▶ No.55727 >>55729 >>55740 >>60628
>>55725
>Kristen Stewart
That's a strange way of spelling the name of pic related.
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▶ No.55729
>>55727
I feel like shit after posting that. No joke is worth risking a monkey's paw of that magnitude.
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▶ No.55731 >>55735 >>55740
>>55722
Sonic and Yukari both have multi-tailed fox companions and have vaguely explained space-manipulating powers. They're practically made for each other.
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▶ No.55735
>>55731
and yukari likes trains. autists like both trains and sonic
its like poetry
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▶ No.55740 >>55743 >>55745 >>55787
>>55727
I don't even know, who is this.
Was it that bitch who played Rey in nuStar wars?
>>55731
Wait, I thought that Sonic only had super-speed.
>>55638
>>55639
If that happens, I will request perma on your ass.
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▶ No.55743
>>55740
Sega forgets about it too. In SA2, Sonic clearly used Chaos Control to escape from the space capsule deathtrap that Robotnik tricked him into getting into.
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▶ No.55745
>>55740
>Was it that bitch who played Rey in nuStar wars?
Yeah. I want to take it back even though it has a 0.0000001 chance of actually happening. It's still too much of a chance.
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▶ No.55753
saved for archival reasons these predictions came true way too often
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▶ No.55759
>>55638
>Sanae is given a much bigger role, as her being new to "Gensokyo" allows her to vessel the audience as they learn the setting, possibly putting her as the main character
Thanks, you pretty much sealed our doom now.
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▶ No.55761 >>55774 >>55784 >>60628
>>46905 (OP)
*cheesy pop culture intro music*
This is the epic story of a not to distant future where humans roam the post apocalyptic fields of former NYC. Our protagonist Rachel, Social Worker in the Hakurey poverty center, sets out on a journey that is going to change her life forever. *flashy shmup action sequence* Will you follow her on this journey to fight the human supremacists hunting down mutants and segregating them in ghettos because of their special abilities and tanned skin? An epic quest for love, justice and self reflection for all ages. Presented by Aaron Weinstein.
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▶ No.55774 >>55825
>>55761
Vomit inducing enough that I can see it making it to the script outline pitch.
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▶ No.55784
>>55761
don't forget about the gensokyo holocaust that took out millions of fairies that were being oppresed for hundreds of years.
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▶ No.55787
>>55740
>If that happens, I will request perma on your ass.
<Implying I won't kill myself before the mods see the request
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▶ No.55825 >>55862
>>55774
All it takes are a few little girls to the right Hollywood producers.
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▶ No.55862 >>55930 >>60628
>>55825
"Gensokyo must open it's gates if they want to remain culturally relevant today. Sorry for the poor phone reception I'm calling from a european brothe- I mean sex rehab."
-H. Weinstein
"As a non molesting person and former actor myself, I look forward to working with and personally mentoring any fairies from Gensokyo that are looking to work in Hollywood. No, I have never heard of Amanda Bynes."
-Dan "She's only nine well then giver more wine" Schneider
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▶ No.55930
>>55862
>Gensokyo must open it's gates if they want to remain culturally relevant today
Oddly enough Hecatia took a similar position back in alternative.
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▶ No.60627
>>55639
>>55638
That hurt, man.
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▶ No.60628
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