/nofap/ - Fappers Anonymous

sissypigx@gmail.com

linktree / sissypigx

Impregnation, Lolicon, NTR, Gangbang. In that order and occasionally combined. I tried nofap and that lead me to craving real CP due to the immense PMO pangs I was having. Best thing I ever did was catch some on edenchan and realized that there was a spark of decency deep inside me.

Immediately lost the pangs and felt disgusted with myself. Since then I've been weaning myself off porn, starting by cutting out the lolicon and its working. I feel more and more disgusted everytime I do it, and it excites me less and less.

Hell for a long period of time I couldn't even get off to porn that wasn't drawn and extremely degenerate. But now I can easily do so, and further prevent myself from hitting the cursed shit.

I wish I had started before I became an adult, as PIED has kept me a closet virgin for a few years now, and its clear that lolicon is no longer tolerated even by the internet. (And the internet tolerates a lot of degenerate shit).

But I see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I think I can beat this.

>>18085

Im going to shoot someone guys when I get to the Laundromat Im going to EXPLODE (with cum)

ok then I will use this as confession/journal I guess.

I am tired and I think I am fucked beyond repair. I have had sex twice in my life, once with a bimbo looking escort who was riding me pretty rough and was actually hurting me so she stopped and simply jacked me off while I sucked her tits. And also a girl I met once on Tinder who was clearly desperate, we actually had a good time but I couldn't cum at all…

I can't seem to break away from my desires, the way I envision myself, what truly deep down brings me pleasure. I don't enjoy being alpha or dominant, I feel it comes off cringy from someone like me, I am 5'4 average, with a very nerd looking dude, I am already 33 and have nothing to bring to the table for a healthy partner in a relationship. I also struggle with the idea of taking charge and leading with masculine energy.

Ever since I can remember I had feared growing up and becoming a man, I have dreaded it to the point that I fantasized becoming a little kid again, even a baby. That eventually made me solidify my desires with my sexual awakening and fucked me up so deeply that today I am a very strange "adult". Some people might have heard of autonepiofilia, infantilism or abdl, the thing is, for me, arousal comes from someone taking care of me, showering me with unconditional love and making me feel cherished, protected and adorable… I dont want to be HOT I want to be CUTE for a girl, I want to generate in them a motherly instinct so they will take over, it has been all my life like this so of course I have never have had a relationship being driven by sexual fetishes away from more healthy bonds.

I got into erotic hypnosis as well big time, going to bed while playing subliminal messages, getting files that promised me to become more like a baby, even fuck up my genitals and receive pleasure from wetting uncontrollably in a diaper (I wish this was a lie). Although I got really little progress, the little progress, even today, compels me to keep trying to achieve the full experience. Removing body hair, being incontinent, unable to achieve erections, the internet will provide support for even your wildest and most fucked up desires yet.

Sex

>>18103

sup CIA stalker… What a fucking loser you are. I'd love to meet you face to face, bitch

had the same problem. i had wet dreams every day and sometimes twice a day

the thing is i was sexually stimulated by my thoughts and females i saw IRL

you need to master your thoughts

I've had some very realistic wet dreams when I was a fapper and I haven't had any since I started nofap, so don't think there's any correlation.

supplements are a meme. fucking faggot. even with zinc. yes. you heard me. faggot

you're also a liar, you did not in fact have had more sexual urges and more energy caused by zinc. you can tell yourself that, but not to the most redpilled community of gamma radiation grinding horse shoelace chewer anons out there

even your mom has mustache on her toes

>>8830

The shrinkage is reversed though after you get blood back into it a few times.

Honestly have considered getting one just to beat this once and for all.

>>8623

You could be a porn actor

>>8601

>literally having big balls equates to also figuratively having big balls

>but dont actually make your balls literally bigger though, you dont need that. it's better if you just pretend

>>9653

I've been witholding the fap this way with fasting but goddamn it am I skinny

>>8784

kill yourself

bump

>>17493

>am I fucked

It's not black and white. Everyone is kinda fucked; most have the same experience as you, especially if they're under 40. The phenomenon is basically worldwide.

Don't worry too much about how you got here, though. You are what you are, and you have to live in the present, so focus on making the right decisions in the present. There's always a better and a worse outcome for your choices. Resisting useless and self-destructive temptations strengthens the will, which tends to be the "fucked" part of the brain.

>>17862

probably, since masturbation lowers test and test affects how big the amygdala grows

>>17823

You'll never get forgiven because you're a kikejew faggot.

"If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it, it is sin for them."

>>17762

Thanks for being so understanding, one thing that I've realized by rereading my post, is that I got the impression that I was trying to justify my self-abuse and degenerate behaviour because of past experiences. Although at this moment I am not practicing no-fap, I've gone back to my home country and I have gotten closer to my roots, which unequivocally has reinstated some masculinity in me.

To make a long story short, I think one of the biggest faults that people make is to seek self improvement only when they are practicing no-fap, which can be very detrimental when you relapse.

>You've got to get after the future and not let the past weigh you down.

Inadvertently, by always thinking my past mistakes, I've had the luxury to get to know in specificity my faults, but also where my strengths lie, I've built up confidence from withing not only through no-fap and I think I'm ready for the long haul.

>>17787

>Three things happen when you get injected with the Fallen light. 1. You Abuse yourself 2. You abuse Others 3. You take the Negative Energy and transform it in a Positive Energy

One thing that I think has helped me a lot is this statement you made. Furthermore, I think I can rest easier than most because I've never directed my abuse towards others.

As I'm writing this, being in my homeland for the first time in over a decade, it helped me reflect on the vanity I've had when I'm living in the western world. Mind you we have our faults, but here there is no other options for a man but to conduct himself in a proper masculine manner. The things that would take weeks of no-fap to have, like walking up with your head high, squaring your shoulders, being more assertive or social have come more easily here because people dont let that shit slide here.

Although, I did not see the value of having a connection with God initially, I think that he is the only path for redemption, the only path for hope and the thing that will save me from my past and light up a new path for everyone.Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

I've been doing a lot of self-reflection about how porn has fucked me up bro, and you're not the only one going through shit like this. I'm even afraid to think how many people are having the same experiences.

The problem with porn is that you always need to find something new to feed the addiction. You start off with stunning looking girls, but soon that's not enough, so you move to old, ugly, obese cunts, d/s, hardcore d/s, a long list of fetishes, but that's not enough. Then comes the scat, piss but it's not enough. You then have the choice of either going illegal (bestiality, underaged, rape, other shit that will get you jail time in many countries), or going legal but up-to-that-point completely disgusting to you. Usually that's fags, sissies, trannies, etc. Now suddenly you've turned from a reasonably healthy straight male, as nature intended, into a phycological faggot, because you can easily get hard watching the new fag stuff, yet the old girl stuff just doesn't cut it for you.

It's not long before you're taking pics of yourself dressed up and chatting up guys online.

I've never met guys for sex, but I was mentally ready to go and enjoy it, despite being married.

Believe it or not, when I arranged a first meet, Jesus Fucking Christ came to me in my sleep and told me it's all devil's work.

Fuck me, I don't even believe in the guy and here he is fucking talking to me. After a bit of a shock I cancelled the meet, threw away the sissy clothes before mrs found out and managed to stay away from it for a whole 18 months, then back to the same shit.

Cancelled the second meet too, but this time because I've realised that I won't be able to look my kids in their eyes if I went off fucking men on the side.

But I wanted it not because I was ever attracted to men, but because of the self-destructive, degenerate nature of the act. And these desires were built up by years and years of porn.

So, although your case is quite a bit more fucked up than mine, there's got to be a way for you going forward.

Can't give you any advice on religion bro - my imho is that shit exists to fuck up your mind, almost like porn does.

First of all stop feeling shit about what happened. That's in the past dude. Everyone does things they regret later in life. If you never went down the porn->fag route, you would have done other shit that you'd be feeling sorry for right now. Relax and think about the future. Porn would have got to you in other ways too. Instead of being ashamed about fucking guys, you'd feel ashamed about wanting to fuck underaged girls, animals or some other shit.

Second, break the PMO cycle if you're on it. For good. Because if you come back to PMOing, you're back in the "porn novelty" spiral and back to self-destructive behaviour.

Once you're free from PMO, your head should clear.

Don't try and repress the faggy feelings inside you. They are not really faggy feelings. They are porn addiction.

You're not missing out on anything by not being an ugly-tranny-faggot-fucker. In fact you're not and have never really been an ugly-tranny-faggot-fucker because you were doing all those things while trying to get yet another high to feed the porn addiction.

You're a porn addict. And porn addiction manifests itself in constant search for novelty, no matter how disgusting.

Understand the porn addiction, kill the porn addiction, get back to having a life.

>>18070

OP here to just to clarify

Nofap in general is not very effective (been doing it since 2015 myself). Unless you actually understand and isolate the causes of your addiction, you'll most likely never quit, or be in a constant state of suffering/irritation because you've stopped PMO.

Read this (free book):

https://easypeasymethod.org/

Describes The causes of pornography addiction and breaks down why pmo'ers do what they do.

Don't stop PMO'ing while reading (if anything do in more often).

I needed to re-read it about 3-4 times (includes audiobook) and about 6 months before it finally clicked. Been over a month so far. Never been so happy before :')

Thank you very much anonybro.

Half way through the book. Yesterday decided to stop fapping for good.

Ok anonybros.

2 weeks since I stopped fapping.

So far so good. Only serious problem I have is that I get a rush every time I see a pic/video of a sexy female (e.g. young bitches in undies popping up in google ads as the ms has been shopping online). Even worse irl - had a dumb young cunt flirting with me and my brain went into complete overdrive.

Used to be a lot easier to handle things like this when I was a degenerate fapper. I guess it should pass as I live out my life as a non-user.

>>18068

>>18081

I'm glad it helped you anon.

As for the rush you feel, get used to them. Unless you're going to be a monk in a faraway monastery, stimulating material will be shoved in your face, by your friends, adverts, society, even family at times.

However when you stumble upon them, think about what is causing the urge; is it the little monster (your primal brain), or is the big monster (societal upbringing/brainwashing).

To me the big realisation moment was when I read someone else's interpretation (from this book). He mentioned that most of the time the urges come from the big monster. That simple idea was enough to help me stop for good.

As most men, I've been just as badly influenced by society which is filled with sexual imagery and hedonism. Now that I understand where my urges are coming from, I become content and at ease when I do accidentally view something erotic.

Still have a way to go, but with a mere mind change, the task of simply not watching porn or masturbating has become easy (because it's the mindset that makes it difficult).

Cheers anonybro.

Yes - understanding the big monster concept helps a lot, and quitting PMO for the sake of PMO seems easy - a large proportion of porn starts to appear rather disgusting. I've had only a few strong pangs to open up some "select" porn and fap to it, but it's easy enough to extinguish them by reasoning with myself that there is no such thing as good porn. Whenever such pangs happened, I'd just do some physical exercise to burn some energy and distract my mind.

I've quit drinking about 8 years ago, without any book or method, but with a very similar instant cut-off of alcohol intake, and in these 8 years I only remember one time when I had an urge to drink and was close to having a whisky.

The act of others offering a drink or having a drink next to me, however, does not grease the slide.

With porn it seems to be very different so far, as any offer of a new sexual partner - the hook that porn uses to embed itself in your brain - seems to grease the slide.

So, I am coming home late after meeting some friends, a bunch of drunk girls fall out of a pub right in front of me, one of them nearly splooshes all over the pavement when she sees me walking by and starts throwing herself at me. I'm not interested at all (the bird is fucking ugly, not that it matters as I've got the mrs at home), but the slide is now greased and I'm overwhelmed with the urge to release. Mrs is already asleep after a long & shit day, and I'm not fapping to porn, so I then spend the next day completely unable to concentrate and do any work, losing my mind to the little monster's pangs until I finally get to pork the mrs in the evening (which has become a lot more enjoyable after quitting porn).

So the little monster seems to jump out every time SOMEBODY ELSE greases my slide. That's the annoying bit.

The other time was when I took my kids to a playground and a teenage bitch-in-heat decided to flirt with me every time her mother wasn't looking. Again, I'm not interested in the slightest, but the offer itself greases the fucking slide - almost instantly and Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

I know, porn-induced erectile disfunction sucks.

You're not alone anonybro, and I had an extra decade of porn addiction on top of your 12 years.

A very kind anon has recently directed me to this book.

https://easypeasymethod.org/

Worked for me.

just don't watch porn. easy as that, goofball

No it ain't.

Your porn addiction is fed via the Porn-Masturbate-Orgasm process.

So you cut out porn, but keep MO'ing, what do you achieve?

1) You want to sort out your PIED - well now you're just going to have fap-induced ED instead, and you'll be spending most of the time with your balls drained and zero confidence. Good luck getting it up for a real woman.

2) You want to get the time back in your life to do something useful with it - well you ain't, cause you'll still be edging for hours, fucking up your life further.

3) You want to stop the ever increasing degenerate behaviour? Well, what are you going to fap to? Memories of porn? Softcore? That girl you saw on the train today? Then you want more, so you eventually revert to fantasies about being fucked by your neighbour's dog. Before you know it, you're back in your bathtub with a 20-inch dildo up your butt, licking your own shit off your fingers while fapping yourself until you pass out.

Also, what defines "porn", apart from the obvious degenerate hardcore shit on PH, etc?

Is softcore porn?

Erotic hypnosis (no visual stimulant)?

Sex scene in a film?

Erotic comics?

Amateur-drawn My Little Pony erotica?

If kicking porn addiction is just about not watching porn, then I can dress up in my fluttershy fursuit, stick a horse tail butt plug up my arse and fap myself for hours while watching the first season of MLP (that's not porn, right?) before finally jizzing all over the VHS player. And that won't make me a porn-addicted degenerate?

Something doesn't add up, anonybro.