This was posted on her blog, asiancuckandcuckoldress
My Thoughts and Experience on Racial Cuckolding
Hi everyone. I appreciate all the support that I received from my friends and followers on my Tumblr blog. I made a conscious decision to share a very personal and intimate part of my life in hope that it will shed light on the topic of Asian/white racial cuckolding (a scenario where an Asian couple invites a white bull to pleasure the wife). I’m also writing this piece in response to my husband’s personal struggle with our cuckold marriage. While some of the martials on my page are sexual fantasies, I hope this piece to be more serious and informative.
I first wanted to write something meaningful about racial cuckolding due to my continual frustration at the lack of Asian cuckolds willing to appear on my upcoming documentary. The documentary is a short video exploring the ever increasingly popular theme of Asian and white cuckolding. These Asian guys were initially very enthusiastic about starring in a documentary that features a sexual fetish they’re into. But the initial enthusiasm fissured and ultimately died out after they were informed that their faces will be in full view.
Asians are particular sensitive about pride, hence the term “saving face” originates from Asian countries. So having their faces in full view is the ultimate “loss of face.” But I was puzzled and bothered by the fact that they feel it’s something to be embarrassed about. Although the documentary is not a porn in any stretch, it’s nonetheless a documentary that deals with an erotic subject. I always thought that since there’s lack of an Asian male presence in American adult films, cuckolding movies/porn can change that. That shame and humiliation felt by these Asian cuckolds are similar to what my husband went through (and still is). So it’s only appropriate that I begin this piece with my husband’s story.
My husband is a great guy. He’s very smart and resourceful. We’re also best friends as well. Plus, I do feel a special connection to another Chinese person, so dating and ultimately marrying him was the best decision I ever made.
But while he’s a great person, he’s not someone I’m physically nor sexually attracted to. It’s honestly not just about the penis size like everyone else make it out to be. While he’s very under endowed, it’s also has to do with his other inadequacies in the sex department. He has problems with premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction as well.
While we still dating, we try to get “intimate” couple times and it was a disaster. I felt so turn off by the sight of him naked and unable to perform. I only dated and slept with white guys before him so it saddened me to see the stereotype about Asian guys being true. I know he’s the only Asian guy I ever see naked, but it just confirmed my long time beliefs about Asian guys.
I first cheated on my husband with one of my white ex. That ex was a total jerk and asshole, but sex was something that he always great at. I realize that I can never go back with this asshole, but why not just have him as a sex partner. But the guilt of being a cheater is a lot for me to bear and especially cheating on my then bf with an ex. I stopped seeing the ex and try to feel some sort of sexual attraction with my bf. Once again we tried to get intimate, but he got really anxious every time, and his inadequacies grew even more.
Not having someone for physical pleasure made me a cranky and bitchy person to be around. I grew so annoyed at everything he does even though he’s a sweetheart and always try to please me. Then one night when I was out with some of my Asian gfs, they said that they have the same problem with their Asian bfs and husbands, while the ones who dated white guys didn’t have this problem. I talked to one girl in particular and she said that she had the same problem with her Asian husband. She was active in cuckolding at the time, but didn’t disclose her activity since it’s a very taboo subject at the time (still now). It wasn’t until we became close that she said she was a cuckoldress and it saved her marriage. I was shocked at her admission about this lifestyle and didn’t really ask further.
Anyways, I dated my husband for 4 years before getting married, and during the time we dated, I openly cheated on him with other white guys. He knew I cheated and it’s an open secret but he never confronted me about it out of fear he might lose me. Whilst it’s an uncomfortable situation, I felt the cheating was necessary since it makes my emotional relationship with my husband better. I didn’t turn into a complete bitch around him and we are happy while we’re together since I’s getting the sex on the side.