>buy mouse in 2019
>plug it in
>what the fuck someone threw a flashbang, can't see anything
>it was just the LED lights on the mouse turning on
>cover the light with 12 layers of duct tape, now at the comfortable level where it only washes the entire room in blue light
>after sight on eyes begins to recover, see that the mouse is less accurate than a blind autistic amputee on a wheelchair, jumping all over and hard to move
>better get drivers
>go to the manufacturer website
>blank screen
>enable 18 megabytes of javascript
>after clicking on flipping and sliding boxes and waiting through countless 10 second fading animations and closing at least 28 popups and filling 4 surveys, finally reach the download
>go to sleep for the night while the 1.4 gb driver download progresses
>next morning, click the installer
>requires administrator permission, installs for 20 minutes while screen turns on and off several times in the process and the desktop UI resets, finally requiring a computer reboot
>restart computer
>fancy loading screen pops up
>immediately computer fan begins to speed up
>loads for several minutes
>welcome to Gaming MouseDriver Xtreme Edition Command Center™
>it asks for a login
>go to the manufacturer website again to register a mouse driver account
>after clicking on the same flipping and sliding boxes and waiting through the same animations again, reach the registration form
>type in my personal details all the way from full name and address and phone number and social security number
>click on google captcha datamining images for 7 minutes
>gives an error, refuses email addresses from anyone besides google and yahoo
>go make a gmail account
>thankfully no need to type personal details this time because google automatically filled in all the fields with the correct info
>click on google captcha datamining images for 7 minutes
>got gmail account
>register mouse driver account
>log into Gaming MouseDriver Xtreme Edition Command Center™
>screen fades to black, guided Gaming MouseDriver tour slideshow begins
>at this point computer fan sounds like a jet engine
>mouse moves at 1 pixel per second, but the UI won't work because the guided tour is in progress
>get to the end of the tour
>UI is designed for dyslexic vegetables so it's hard to find the sensitivity setting, there's no options button
>find it behind a Gaming Xperience™ button
>there's a slider
>it doesn't show a percentage or any number
>can't drag it
>it moves a quarter of the way when you click the slider bar itself
>get it to a point where it's somewhere between lightning fast and snail shit
>a gray overlay with a loading icon covers the window, making it unresponsive
>"settings saved to Elite Gaming Cloud Service®"
>click X to close the window
>it minimizes
>leaves a huge panel into the task bar
>try to find an option to close it
>there's no option to close it
>go to task manager to kill it
>is has 7 processes open
>try to kill them one by one
>they restart immediately after being closed
>finally kill the one with the panel
>mouse movement immediately reverts to inaccurate sluggish shit mode