2c8051 No.14253647
Hollywood is desperate so here's an animated Mario movie by the same kikes that gave you the Minions.
http://archive.is/c2Egh
f87185 No.14253680
>>14253647
>Mario movie in current year +3
Oh, this might be good. People can look at older game movie adaptations to learn from their mita-
>Universal Pictures
FUCK FUCK FUCK
b0bb94 No.14253683
They're both going to be in it. Maybe in the main storyline or in the background or in some cutesy post-credit scene, but they're going to be in it.
d9d4b5 No.14253687
>animated
already garbage.
1c2c2b No.14253690
lol mario characters with full dialog. yeah sunshine was great…
091628 No.14253693
Is there any reason not to just die anymore? No one's going to fucking wake up to the bread and circuses. If we try to do what the Founding Fathers did, we'll be killed by people brainwashed to believe we're traitors and slandered for all time. The genocide isn't going to stop.
f011ec No.14253711
>shit game movies are a fad again
2c8051 No.14253722
>>14253711
Do you miss me yet?
455440 No.14253730
>>14253722
Postal was a great movie and he'd do well given the chance to do a proper Grand Theft Auto movie too
d521e5 No.14253731
>(((Illumination))) (((Entertainment)))
Two cautionary words.
Also, reminder that Nintendo owns the rights to a porn franchise called Super Hornio Brothers
548d24 No.14253732
>>14253722
the postal movie had a few hit or miss jokes, it wasn't completely terrible
2c0b9d No.14253736
>>14253690
sunshine was fun, i enjoyed the hell outta that game.
>>14253693
there have been worse circumstances than this that folks and nations have come back from thruout history. lookup the thirty years war and how screwed germany was afterwards.
f011ec No.14253737
>>14253722
There's a chance that things will be bad enough to make me miss him.
091628 No.14253750
>>14253736
That was a bad war, not an active genocide. At no point in history have jews controlled the world so completely.
a070be No.14253752
Voice actors for the film -
Mario: Jack Black
Peach: Kristen Wig
Luigi: The Rock
Bowser: Lena Dunham
Toadstool: Jared Leto
Yoshi: some nigger
06ac0d No.14253762
>Paramount is in control of the Sonic movie
Who has it worse?
f87185 No.14253771
>>14253680
>>Universal Pictures
I mean >Illumination
I'm fucking retarded.
2c8051 No.14253773
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>14253732
>>14253730
>>14253737
>Makes Postal movie
>Makes Rampage
>Hates Hollyjew
>Hates political correctness
>Beats up LowTax of 10 Bux
He might have been a shady cunt mooching off governmment money for his movies, but he was and still is based as fuck
a8056a No.14253781
I'm cautiously optimistic. Hotel Transylvania was alright. Nintendo has more direct involvement after the abortion that was the live action movie (it's a guilty pleasure cringefest). As long as making a good movie comes first I'll give it a shot.
3fd993 No.14253782
>Animated
It'll be successful so long as the budget/marketing isn't insane and its marketed as a kid's movie. Though it won't be as good as the Angry Birds movie
b0bb94 No.14253785
>>14253752
Mario: hopefully some Brooklyn accent instead of an Italian one
Peach: anyone but Tara Strong or Ashley Burch please
Luigi: another Brooklyn accent would be acceptable
Bowser: I would settle for John DiMaggio
Toadstool: maybe Tom Kenny
Why would Yoshi get a voice?
85625c No.14253791
>>14253693
If a mario movie being made is what gives you suicidal thoughts, then by all means you really should just kill yourself.
091628 No.14253792
85625c No.14253806
f87185 No.14253807
>>14253683
I really hope you're wrong.
2a7bfa No.14253811
I want a live action like the other one's beginning without all the dumb fantasy shit. Just two plumber bros in doggy dog new york that get mixed up with gangsters trying to save a girl. I loved the synergy the brothers had in the first few scenes.
a070be No.14253816
>>14253785
Because there's going to be a song and dance number in it and they're going to want to cram as many characters into it as possible. The upbeat pop will kick in, the characters will strike a goofy pose, and yoshi will come up center screen and say, "Buy a switch"
3fd993 No.14253819
>>14253785
>anyone but Tara Strong or Ashley Burch please
It'll be a #metoo feminist, probably some famous American actress for publicity
>>14253811
Too bad we are getting Minions 3 4 and it will be soulless
091628 No.14253820
>>14253806
You're illiterate.
1acfb2 No.14253821
>>14253785
You know Tara Strong is the in-game peach, right? I do wonder if they try to go with the official Mario actor though.
Despicable Me, and even the sequel weren't that bad. Even the later movies had some redeeming factors, I honestly feel it was some higher-up's demand to put more minions into the movies. Not really familiar with Illumination's other movies though.
5a6423 No.14253823
>lets a go save the princess
>popular #1 pop music plays
a8056a No.14253824
>>14253785
I'm certain Mario and Luigi have to be voiced by Charlie Martini. Also current year Peach is voiced by Cortana since Galaxy. Truth be told I want to hear Peach's normal speaking voice after Odyssey and Rabbids.
22d551 No.14253827
inb4 a minion appears in the background and expands the lore further than it ever should have gobe
1acfb2 No.14253829
>>14253823
plz no
why did you have to make me imagine that
85625c No.14253833
>>14253820
I can read just fine. It's you who thinks that mario getting a movie is the ultimate sign that the white genocide will come to pass.
091628 No.14253846
>>14253833
>implying
No, you can't read.
85625c No.14253854
>>14253846
Alright faggot, what did you really mean?
548d24 No.14253855
>>14253773
not to mention, he's leeching off the (((German government))) so tbh he's not a bad guy.
a8056a No.14253861
>>14253824
Correction. It's Samantha Kelly that voices her now.
a070be No.14253862
>>14253855
Uwe Balls is a terrible director but definitely seems like a fun guy to hang out with
091628 No.14253864
>>14253854
>what did you really mean
No one's going to fucking wake up to the bread and circuses. If we try to do what the Founding Fathers did, we'll be killed by people brainwashed to believe we're traitors and slandered for all time. The genocide isn't going to stop.
Not that hard to comprehend as long as you actually read the post.
9217ba No.14253867
>>14253683
Rabbids they managed to make them work. Minions though…
85625c No.14253868
>>14253864
Yes, I fucking read it. So why is mario the great signal that all this is true?
09c267 No.14253880
>>14253647
I miss Bob Hoskins
3795d0 No.14253888
>>14253683
The minion will be in the Illumination logo, that's a given.
091628 No.14253892
>>14253868
>So why is mario the great signal
I didn't say it was. Maybe you should stop assuming things that aren't written; you'll look less retarded.
>that all this is true
It's true regardless of the existence of the Mario film. The film itself is merely a symptom of the system. It will make half a billion dollars easily and the cycle goes on. You may express your displeasure at its existence in your way, and I may express it in my way. If you're too fucking retarded to comprehend WHY it exists, feel free to keep being hurt by seeing your favorite franchises and entire industry be slowly taken over and destroyed. If you want to actually effect change, stop fighting the people who want to do the same.
And get some critical thinking skills. For fuck's sake, you're supposed to be human. At least act like you're capable of connecting two seemingly disparate statements.
85625c No.14253900
>>14253892
>I didn't say it was
Then why post it in this thread?
feb5a7 No.14253902
>>14253866
Could you imagine being killed by a faggot who uses the word normie?
6c75f0 No.14253907
I can't believe that I used to like Nintendo games more than anything as a kid.
0f6cfb No.14253908
>>14253683
>rabbids used as side characters in the same vein as the penguins in the original madagascar
I can see it now, Rabbids will get there own movie or even a show if this doesn't Flop.
Rayman will remain forgotten which is probably for the best anyways.
6c75f0 No.14253913
>>14253908
There has been a rabbids show for years now nigger
f82109 No.14253914
>>14253811
>doggy dog
It's 'dog-eat-dog' you ninny.
091628 No.14253919
>>14253900
Where are your complaints at these posts, then?
>>14253680
>>14253683
>>14253687
>>14253690
>>14253722
>>14253739
>>14253752
>>14253787
They're expressing the same distaste, I just articulated mine beyond the obvious, direct meaning of "this is selling out, which is always bad." You obviously have a problem with anything more complex than direct associations. My question would be why.
091628 No.14253924
>>14253913
Who here watches Talmudvision to even know that?
85625c No.14253929
>>14253919
Those are all directly relating to the movie.
091628 No.14253935
>>14253929
>You obviously have a problem with anything more complex than direct associations. My question would be why.
0f6cfb No.14253940
>>14253913
How am I supposed to know that?
c5ffd6 No.14253943
>>14253914
>>14253813
>>14253815
Responses like this are a diamond dozen
9776c8 No.14253955
>>14253647
That's it, I lost it
091628 No.14253956
>>14253943
I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
85625c No.14253957
>>14253935
Cause you're going out of your way to bitch about something only tangentially related to the OP.
f87185 No.14253961
>You obviously have a problem with anything more complex than direct associations.
>My question would be why.
Illumination is known for insanely shitty 3D "animation" movies. Remember when Gru and the three shitty little girls were the main focus of Despicable Me, with Minions just being comedic effect? Noe, you can't even walk outside without seeing the irritating yellow little fuckers everywhere. The Minions Movie was fucking awful, and I would know because I watched it with babby family members to keep them occupied.
Illumination is known for mind numbing, bell-curve faggot pandering faggotry. I do not want them anywhere near my vidya.
121bb0 No.14253968
>>14253821
>Mario movie by Illumination
>mfw Miyamoto's meddling meaning it won't even try to expand lore
>mfw they already have the perfect Minion clone in the form of Toad
SAVE ME FROM THIS MADNESS
03702a No.14253969
You could just watch the original animated SMB movie. This goes back really far. Subs are in Youtube CC so either need to watch there or find somewhere else. It's interesting to say the least. Most concepts of "Mario" aren't fully in yet. Bowser's still more of a black magic wizard and Luigi's color scheme is still yellow and blue. They also meet God and are accompanied by a catterpillar dog thing. It's kind of a trip.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWUHkOyhR-M
091628 No.14253971
>>14253957
>the anticulture purposely and scientifically fostered over the course of nearly a century and a half to remove all purity and meaning from social interaction and collective experiences is creating yet another bastardization of something that at least in part had meaning and worth
>pointing this out is off-topic to a discussion of the creation of said bastardization
Yes, tangential. It certainly is, isn't it.
>>14253961
>I do not want them anywhere near my vidya.
Exactly.
85625c No.14253978
>>14253971
>>the anticulture purposely and scientifically fostered over the course of nearly a century and a half to remove all purity and meaning from social interaction and collective experiences
ok
3fd993 No.14253995
>>14253968
>>mfw they already have the perfect Minion clone in the form of Toad
Did you already forget this exists? Now is the perfect time to remind everyone about this game by putting rabids in the movie and at the same time release movie dlc!
091628 No.14253996
>>14253978
Is your implication that Hollywood is not owned by a single ethnic group and does not operate based on that ethnic group's desire for the control of all other races?
6c75f0 No.14254005
>>14253924
>>14253940
You don't have to consume a certain form of media to know about its existance.
121bb0 No.14254009
>>14253969
>Luigi's color scheme is still yellow and blue
It was probably the only time that happened, save for maybe Smash 4. Also this film has some good moments, but Mario got cucked super hard at the end of the film by a prince who happened to be that caterpillar-dog thing transformed.
Also offtopic, but since you brought up old licensed Mario stuff, does anyone happen to have info or scans for something called Super Mario Bros. Gaiden? I saw some nip talking about it and I found no information about it otherwise. Pics related.
>>14253995
No, I meant Toad being turned from barely tolerable into Minions-tier shits. They're already annoying enough as it is, especially after they keep getting shoved in over new, interesting NPCs, I can only imagine Illumination making them even MORE annoying.
79c6b1 No.14254015
Why can't Japan just make an anime Mario movie instead?
03702a No.14254016
6c75f0 No.14254017
>>14254015
Why can't Japan make the Detective Pikachu movie instead?
d521e5 No.14254021
>>14254015
>High res Yoshi or Birdo model leaks
>All that SFM futa porn for days
79c6b1 No.14254031
>>14254016
Or a new one.
>>14254017
That too.
>>14254021
Kill me.
ab8220 No.14254059
>Movie comes out
>It's about Mario somehow being teleported to the real world New York City
>A cast of racially diverse human kids help him bing bing wahoo back to the Mushroom Kingdom
71d6eb No.14254069
f87185 No.14254098
>>14254059
>racially diverse
>it's mostly just black kids and the one white kid is an asshole
bf010b No.14254104
>>14254098
That sounds pretty racially diverse to me,i don't know what you're talking about man.
f7942a No.14254105
>>14254059
Sounds more like an 80's cartoon tbh
85562c No.14254109
>>14253680
Get ready for the articles: "It's time for a female Mario" or "Mario is gay and why it's a good thing".
af25b6 No.14254110
I just know there will be people defending it even here
f6f137 No.14254172
>>14253647
Well, at least it'll be animated which is what the one in the 90s should have been. The whole idea of a live-action Mario movie was just dumb.
641dfe No.14254174
Illumination makes cynical, saccharine time-wasters as quickly and cheaply as possible so I can already say that I'd rather watch the Super Mario Bros. movie from 1993. It was really weird and goofy and bore very little resemblance to the actual video game but it had a really neat and crowded dystopian punk city built in this concrete factory that could actually function as a town because, for example, the kebab shop actually made and sold kebabs to the extras and that's the kind of passionate attention-to-detail that Peter Jackson put into his Lord of the Rings adaptations.
The idea of this movie, however… Well, I'm not sure what's worse: this or another live-action remake of an animated Disney movie from 20 years ago. In any case, it's not like anybody can do anything about it: they'll probably be finished rendering the whole thing in a few weeks or maybe two months from now. We can only hope somebody pulls a Foodfight with it.
d2c5e7 No.14254201
What are the absolute worst bits of "lore" they can cobble together for this trash heap?
>every secondary character is Toad
>Mario gets cucked at the end
>Everyone only speaks in wahoos
>Except for the returning Starlow and Kersti
>Rabbids
>For 10 minutes all dialogue is delivered via rap
>Musical numbers featuring Tara Strong butchering pop-culture classics
>Plugging upcoming Universal Studios attraction
>Luigi stare and half A-press memes
f6f137 No.14254203
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>14253824
If Charles Martinet does his voice, the movie might have a chance.
f6f137 No.14254211
>>14253919
> "this is selling out, which is always bad."
Nintendo and Universal are both corporations. They're all about selling out.
c7ab32 No.14254214
>>14254201
>half a-press memes
as if they are that in touch
>delivered via rap
Yeah wubstep, autotune rap.
641dfe No.14254220
f6f137 No.14254221
>>14254220
If they get Charles Martinet, yes.
641dfe No.14254227
>>14254221
You're an idiot.
f6f137 No.14254247
>>14253693
>>14253750
>>14253864
>>14253892
The only way to beat them is to not buy their shit.
d2c5e7 No.14254272
>>14254221
I can't wait for the "subtle" Drumpf jabs
73d222 No.14254301
>>14254172
That movies existence is a work of art and you know it.
ddc839 No.14254370
>all these fatalist niggers
This is bread and butter dumbfucks
You probably are the same guys who think the emoji movie was the end of the world
ab8220 No.14254379
>>14254354
It's the MLP movie part 2. Not gonna lie, I'm kind of interested to see how this turns out, but I'll wait for a blu-ray rip if anything. That's assuming the first trailer doesn't immediately ruin everything.
da5a9b No.14254390
>>14254354
>4cuck filename
You have to go back.
722035 No.14254398
>>14253647
Think there will at least be a chance it'll the fun to laugh at kind of shitty?
2c8051 No.14254405
>>14254354
>SoyWojak cancer
>>>/cuckchan/
455440 No.14254427
>>14253813
I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
85625c No.14254436
>>14254427
Faggot, you couldn't even get a different pasta. >>14253956
c61896 No.14254454
>>14253647
I can totally see this:
>Voice cast by those kike sockpuppets:
<Mario as a SuperWholock fag
<Luigi as an unfunny nigger (the one from E3 Cops)
<Peach as Tara Strong or even better Ashley Burch
<Bowser by some nobody
Expecting your favorite character to show up? Fuck you they're not kosher.
>>14253722
>Him directing a Wario Land film
NEVER EVER
c6ade1 No.14254466
>>14254462
bait harder, faggot
85625c No.14254468
>>14254462
what manner of bait is this?
9c5805 No.14254469
How would MovieBlob rate this movie?
e4cda3 No.14254470
>>14254454
<Peach as ashley burch
<Spike in interest makes a bunch of turkic semen demon porn crop up
I'm okay with this.
c61896 No.14254472
>>14254469
Now that's something I would like to know.
>>14254470
>Spike in interest makes a bunch of turkic semen demon porn crop up
>Spike
11047b No.14254539
>>14253647
I miss Captain Lou.
eccc02 No.14254570
>>14254551
I'll never understand this webm.
0c17cd No.14254594
>>14254551
>that webm
I don't understand.
7aad40 No.14254629
>>14253902
There's nothing said about "normies" in the webm, faggot
2c8051 No.14254647
>>14253902
I can see you going >>>/back/
73d222 No.14255220
>>14254570
>>14254594
Was it the anal vore ninja?
73d222 No.14255237
>>14253785
I dunno but I want a toad to be voiced by Danny Devito for some reason.
c7ab32 No.14255270
>>14254272
>Bowser would-a make a terrible ruler! At least he isn't-a orange
>Make-a Mushroom Kingdom Great again is a lie!
>Bowser has been colluding with the Bean Beans!
<Why is it that Wario keeps pressuring us to take in more dangerous goombas, but he doesn't allow any in his own kingdom? Why does he have any political power here when he's a citizen of a foreign kingdom and why does he pushing for us to donate more coins to his kingdom?
fd24a4 No.14255274
>>14253722
Rampage was good.
eccc02 No.14255276
What is arguably the best vidya movie and why is it Mortal Kombat
4c63ad No.14255335
Was hoping it would be the guys who did the Angry Birds movie. https://archive.is/9o2uu
d5be05 No.14255373
If (((Hollywood))) is making it, there's gonna be some progressive pro Marxist LGBTQWERTY+ Feminist message. Just you wait.
35795a No.14255379
Who cares about the Mario movie?
I'm more interested in the fucking Duke Nukem moving that's apparently being made.
b60cf6 No.14255387
>>14253680
So, Universal is making Sonic and Mario… I can only laugh or I would cry.
27164b No.14255398
>>14255335
You know I came in expecting fucking garbage the movie turned out to be fairly entertaining.
f5dd10 No.14255446
I read the ridiculous argument between 85625c and 091628.
091628 is the stupid one. What the fuck does the announcement of a fucking Mario cartoon have to do with brainwashed Americans complacent in genocide? There is no way to retrofit that onto the OP topic without looking like a complete moron.
58fa95 No.14255468
>>14253773
>lowtax just cowering away
Beautiful.
d31ae5 No.14255496
I don't care what anyone says, I like the Super Mario Bros. movie and would be happy if the animated film was a direct sequel.
I know its not going to be though.
Real predictions though.
>Film will be canceled when Miyamoto walks away from the project after getting really angry
36eb83 No.14255531
We all know the likely outcome of this, but let me play doubles advocate for a moment.
Illumination Animation is fucking cancer in terms of character design and writing, especially in the humor department, but they DO have skilled animators. If Miyamoto treats them the way he's historically treated external devs, like Rare and Retro, there is still a slim possibility of it not being utter, unbearable, unforgivable shit.
c9e0f6 No.14255552
>>14255496
I really liked it too man. It was an uncompromising and creative flick and doesn't deserve half the shit that gets thrown at it at all. It's just a solid, goofy film. Sure it bears very little in passing to the source material, but it's just the most fucking insane use of a license I have ever seen. Cyberpunk Mario is really FUCKING cool.
I really don't know what people were expecting with this flick, but I really enjoyed it on its own merits rather than comparing it to the source material. It's like those alt art pieces, but an entire movie of them.
e8742b No.14255642
>>14253722
>>14255274
I actually never heard that he made a Rampage movie. The Dungeon Siege movie was laughably bad though, especially the editing. There were several times that me and my dad laughed out loud just because the scene transitions were so jarring. Plus Burt Reynolds appearance was just… mystifying and fucking funny at the same time. Entertaining in a way though, so I'll give him that. Postal was also decent for what it was.
fd24a4 No.14255670
>>14255642
>I actually never heard that he made a Rampage movie.
He did. But it's not based on the game. It's literally mass shooting: the movie.
Pic related.
a1b631 No.14255674
4ad598 No.14255715
>>14253647
How could you make a movie out of mario of all things? Mario barely has a story
2c8051 No.14255730
>>14255715
>Movies need a story
>Animated movie need a story
You're a retard, the kikes at Hollywood are simply creatively bankrupt.
You could just run with the setup of saving the Princess and make Mario dance around and play with perspective with the countless Levels/Worlds/Enemies/Allies he's met with no need for talking.
53d7cc No.14255743
>>14255496
Peach will get BLACKED. I guarantee it.
e9d68a No.14255766
>>14254247
>he actually thinks that kikes won't make money if you don't buy things
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Pic related nigger, if you pay taxes you've already bought their shit.
35d702 No.14255767
>>14255730
>Hollyjude
>"save the princess" plot
Maybe back in the 40's but not in CY+3, with how blatant they're being.
b48a56 No.14255777
>Nintendo makes a new, good Mario game
>they refuse to release the game, instead filming the screen while someone plays the game
>release it as a movie
Because you dirty gaijins stole the games from their eShops.
2c8051 No.14255795
>>14255767
Like I said Hollyjew is creatively bankrup and their leftist SJW kike tier antics only help to stifle said creativity.
63cb0f No.14255800
>>14255766
So, my options are to either vote with my wallet and not see Hollywood shit, and still be heckled for not wanting to go to federal prison. Or go to federal prison and be (((based))). I think I’ll just not watch movies and tv, thank you.
53d7cc No.14255802
>>14255800
>I think I’ll just not watch movies and tv, thank you.
Not like there's anything to actually watch.
e9d68a No.14255840
>>14255800
>not scamming the system for more than you put in
>not living the NEET life
>not working for yourself under the table
>not saving some cash and moving somewhere where the local government doesn't milk you like a two legged cow
You have plenty of options. You are a cuck because you chose to be which is why you deserve to be laughed at.
eccc02 No.14255858
>>14255642
>Dungeon siege movie
Are you talking about the one with Jason Satham and that one shot where he kind of jumps and slashes to the right? That fucking movie has some great editing.
091628 No.14255897
>>14255841
>it's ridiculous to stop your own genocide
Kill yourself.
02935c No.14255901
6b3b4f No.14255907
>>14253722
I remember walking into a theater in a convention where they were showing the dubbed version of Postal and I don't think I can remember a single moment of the film that lucidly but damn if it didn't capture the batshit insane mood of Postal 2. I think the Postal Dude's fatass whore wife gets fucked in the last moments of the film, their roulotte explodes and her still beating heart falls and bumps onto Postal Dude's car, who just swipes it off the windshield as he drives into the sunset with his new love interest and Saddam and Bush happily walk down a field with a nuclear explosion taking them out.
>>14253773
>>14255468
The full story is even better, I don't remember which asshole challenged the other, IIRC Uwe did it to Lowtax, and being a fucking goon he imagined it was all in jest to self promote so he went there utterly unprepared expecting to perform some comedy sketch while Boll was completely serious the whole time and despite not being very fit or technical he still beat the living shit out of Lowtax. You can see in the video the moment where Lowtax realizes that he just made a fool out of himself in front of the whole of SA and put on another small show before realizing that he would be demolished by Boll, so he bailed out to save what little dignity he had left.
Goons are absolutely bizarre.
>>14254059
I felt that from there. I think I'm gonna be sick.
>There's gonna be a lil niggro with missing teeth and shaved hair who will say DAS MAREOH
aa4534 No.14255949
>>14253683
>>14253647
I KNEW IT. I KNEW THE TRUE EFFECTS WOULD TAKE HOLD EVENTUALLY.
2c8051 No.14255953
a29c7c No.14255968
f53bdc No.14255972
>bill hader's surly veteran voice as mario
d1cc47 No.14255981
>>14254203
>Mario saying 'I don't give a fuck'
This is bizarre, how did Nintendo allow this?
e7f4ba No.14255988
What the fuck is "the Minions" anyways? I keep seeing these yellow cunts plastered everywhere but have never seen a single clue of what the fuck are they supposed to be about
944e72 No.14255990
>>14255988
What rock have you been hiding under?
e7f4ba No.14255999
>>14255990
A very comfy one where I don't go around watching bullshit movies or any faggotry of the sort, you fucking normalfaggot
e9d68a No.14256000
>>14255988
the mascots of some shitass movie franchise made by kikes and marketed absolutely everywhere
944e72 No.14256014
>>14255999
I literally cannot comprehend how you could avoid the minions or their source material SO ENTIRELY that you don't even know where they're from. They've been in 4 or 5 movies and first showed up 7 years ago, you should have accidentally caught a glimpse of a poster or a trailer or an advertisement by now. Even if you only browse imageboards and no other site on the entire internet, you should have gleaned the knowledge by now, from a conversation like this happening in the past with someone else. Your ignorance (the literal meaning of the word, not the insult) is mind-boggling.
2d8e96 No.14256016
>>14255999
>simply knowing what a Minion is makes you a normalfag
Only ignorant assholes with superiority complexes put purity tests on shit like this.
Fuck off to wherever you came from and stop wasting trips.
f9237e No.14256023
>>14255988
They are from some mediocre 2010 kids movie called "Despicable me" I watched it in theaters when it came out and it was completely meh and generic.
Then I watched toy story 3 right afterwards and just about cried my eyeballs out at the incinerator scene.
e8742b No.14256032
>>14255858
I dunno man, some of those scene cuts were just funny as fuck to me. But it's been many years since I watched it.
36eb83 No.14256042
>>14255999
>Imfuckingplying
Your comfort has run out, sunshine. Time to suffer with the rest of us.
A basic explanation of what they are and why they're terrible: https://www.hooktube.com/watch?v=2zTn2WucoZQ
An analysis of their movie, which should give you an idea of what this studio is, and who the target audience will be: https://www.hooktube.com/watch?v=4KaodqL5OQg
e7f4ba No.14256049
>>14256042
This was a good explanation, thanks
>>14256014
>>14256016
You faggots are completely ridiculous, maybe you should try spending some time away from the hollyjew propaganda too
000000 No.14256052
You know, the 1993 Mario movie is surprising watchable. Not good, but I can at least sit through it without getting bored because of how fucking weird it is. It's biggest problem is that it was trying to leech off Mario's brand. Honestly, it's a bad movie saved by actors that really fit their roles.
e8742b No.14256063
>>14256052
I remember feeling the same way as a kid. "This movie is not what I expected, but watchable." Doom was inexcusable though. They just made it so fucking mundane.
944e72 No.14256071
>>14256049
>shopping
>walk past toys
>see a minion
>says "Despicable Me 3" on the package
>know forever more, through basic observation of your surroundings and common fucking sense, that minions are from the Despicable Me movies
There are endless scenarios that could result in this knowledge. You're either a complete idiot or the most isolated autist I have ever encountered. Were you, or are you currently homeschooled? Does someone else still do all your shopping for you, or do you order your tendies and mountain dew from the internet? When was the last time you saw the actual sun, and not a jpeg of the sun? Is your home so deep in the earth that it's secure against tactical nuclear warheads?
e7f4ba No.14256073
>>14256071
>literal normalfaggot spergs out trying to pretend he's not
You can stop now, already laughing my ass off
e9d68a No.14256074
>>14256049
How do you avoid being bombarded with kike propaganda every time you go outside anon? There's no such thing as adblock for eyeballs. Are you a total NEET who hasn't gone outside in years? Do you live in a turd world shithole where the kikes don't bother plastering ads? I wanna know.
944e72 No.14256080
>>14256073
You think you're clever but you're embarrassing yourself here. Tilefucker, Ohio Guy, and Anon Who Didn't Know Where Minions Are From.
2c8051 No.14256087
>>14256073
>>14256049
>>14255988
>>14255999
Nigger I don't watch television, barely go outside or go out with friends and I was exposed to this fucking tripe.
You either live in a cabin or you're blind, this shit is nearly as shilled and pushed as Star Wars for global mass appeal
e9d68a No.14256101
>>14256080
So he's just a turbo autist? Damn I thought he had found a way to go outside and do stuff without having to look at disgusting kike ads.
944e72 No.14256105
>>14256101
>>14256074
Whatever his circumstances, he won't tell us because in his mind, it means proving us right.
63cb0f No.14256106
>>14255988
The most in depth look at how Jews view the goyim.
e7f4ba No.14256124
>>14256087
>>14256080
>>14256101
>normalfaggots in denial
>>14256105
And then there's this autist roleplaying armchair psychologist
e9d68a No.14256163
>>14256124
>spergs out on anonymous imageboard
>calls other people autistic
WEW LAD
>>14256138
Did you accidentally post in the wrong thread are you just crazy?
944e72 No.14256168
>>14256124
>he's still doing it
BTW by not telling us about your isolated circumstances, as I said you would to prevent proving us right, you are still proving me right. Checkmate motherfucker.
e7f4ba No.14256169
>>14256163
>doesn't even know what sperging out means
You are obviously not from around here, you can stop trying to fit in now
eccc02 No.14256171
The anon just wanted another anon's view on the minions. What's the big deal?
93b977 No.14256191
Those fucking theaters are going to reek of soy milk.
cea9dd No.14256194
>>14256191
Does soy milk spoil in the same way as regular milk?
eccc02 No.14256201
>>14256194
Do people cry over spilled soy milk?
cea9dd No.14256203
>>14256199
I don't own any soy milk to check. I hate it as is when I get offered reduced fat milk.
65ac76 No.14256232
>>14253647
How are they even going to translate his Charles Martinet voice to any dialogue longer than a second? That's all I can think about when I look at post-64 Mario. Are we going to have a Mario Teaches Typing voice for the entire movie? Or will they go back and give him a Super Show-style voice?
1844d3 No.14256256
>>14256232
They may very well just not have Mario talk the entire film beyond the sort of thing you hear in-game. All the dialogue can be handled by secondary characters (read: not even Luigi, Toad, et. al., but Ori G. Nalcharacterdonotsteal who will be introduced specifically for the movie). Though I'd love to let Toad get some dialogue. And you know Daisy won't be in the movie.
4d7a62 No.14256274
>>14256124
Your taste in anime makes you as much a normalfag as them
224590 No.14256279
>>14253750
What about the Black Death? It may not have been an actual genocide comitted by a group of people but it killed 60% of Europe's population and could have easily killed all of it.
ef13af No.14256285
>>14256232
They'll probably have Mario remain mostly silent and have all the dialogue carried by a 'streetwise' black teen he meets early in the movie. Did we really have seven threads about that game?
1844d3 No.14256287
>>14256279
Well, sure, but that's hardly something deliberate.
e812e6 No.14256302
>>14256279
The black death started in Asia and ravaged the old world as a whole then just Europeans.
63cb0f No.14256311
>>14256138
Any thread talking about Trump helping Israel gets sage bombed and spammed to death before being deleted by the mods. Old /pol/ died on January 20, 2017.
224590 No.14256330
>>14256287
Fine, the Mongols or any muslim conquest of European clay? A more recent event would be the USSR but I can imagine most would say the Slavs never really got over that.
7aad40 No.14256560
>>14255988
What everyone else already said. There's a difference between not paying attention to hollywood advertising and just being completely oblivious to your surroundings.
>>14256023
>spoiler
You're a faggot
1844d3 No.14256572
>>14256330
What does any of that have to do with the modern, current, active genocide being perpetuated by a single ethnic group, globally?
6b3b4f No.14256596
>>14255988
Universal Pictures tried to make a new franchise with Despicable Me, a movie about a villain who goes on various heists but still maintains a heart of gold by virtue of becoming a father figure to three kids, owning an underground lair with a mad scientist and a billion yellow buttplug that functioned as his minions, hence why they're called Minions. Obviously they were made to sell toys from day one, but unexpectedly, despite the movies being rather unsuccessful, the yellow buttplugs were a hit with normalfags due to some scenes where they'd look completely moronic, references other pop culture things and IIRC even wore a maid outfit. Understandably, Universal took the franchise and moved the attention from the main cast to the butt plugs. Ubisoft was extremely salty over this because Rabbids were Minions before Minions were a thing (especially with the pop culture shit), but they were a doomed project barring the kiddie market because they were just annoying and unlikeable (their French, original name literally calls them the Retarded Rabbits). After noticing the Minions, they desperately tried to cover that area of the market back with that Mario x Rabbids game, which was actually alright but no one in their right mind would buy it (Rayman fans are still pissed, Mario fans don't really like strategy games and even kids only play Minions because they're Minions).
c410f5 No.14256609
>>14253647
>Illumination Entertainment
Y'all niggers ready for the Minions movie part 2?
f87185 No.14256626
>>14256593
>this faggot again
7aad40 No.14256637
>>14256626
That is an old webm used by many many anons, my dear newfriend.
e812e6 No.14256665
>>14256596
>movies being rather unsuccessful
Successful enough to make 3 movies, the last 2 making $1 billion dollars each.
f87185 No.14256747
>>14256637
>newfriend
Nigger, this happens in every single thread heavily related to, but not entirely videogames. It seems like it's one main faggot because they don't include anything in their post other than the webm, and it's usually (1).
7aad40 No.14257009
>>14256747
I've done it before too. It's an apt response to a shit thread like this one.
73d222 No.14257040
>>14256747
Same, I've also done it. Take off the tinfoil hat faggot.
a119f9 No.14257274
>>14253647
say whaaaaaaa
THAT FRIGGIN FANTASTIC
new mario movie! yay
3b0ae9 No.14257561
>>14257312
>>14257274
[Desire to post nu-male wojack intensifies]
a6e99a No.14257761
Shit, I've known about this for months ever since Universal announced their Super Nintendo Land expansion. Why is this suddenly big news again?
5cc0aa No.14258162
>>14256377
I kind of want to fuck meme girl.
6b3b4f No.14258187
>>14256665
No one really cared about the franchise until the butt plugs were so heavily marketed, though.
8fe280 No.14258207
oh boy, icant wait for a boring, low budget bland mess ala every fucking thing illumination puts out
christ
3b0ae9 No.14258308
>>14258207
Should have been Pixar, but of course Nintendo fucking cheaps out. Who the fuck are they, where the fuck and what the fuck did they do to the old Nintendo of yore. Who are they anon, I DON'T RECOGNIZE WHO THESE DEMONS ARE.
3371b9 No.14258312
>>14258308
Nintendo has always been first and foremost a toy company. This cheap studio that makes all the blockbusters is producing their film because they know how to market their shit and will give Nintendo loads of money.
558f95 No.14258366
I'm happy that Nintendo allowed my interest to die before this.
>>14253722
Pretty much; his House of the Dead shits all over the Resident Evil movies.
>>14253762
Megaman
9cc2bb No.14258386
>>14253647
>Nintendrones will defend this as soon as word begins to spread
Dark times ahead…
>>14253690
Sunshine was great though. This movie won't be.
9cc2bb No.14258389
>>14258308
But Pixar is shit now too and only make shitty knockoffs of better movies or obnoxious sequels.
c4d700 No.14258392
>>14253785
>Why would Yoshi get a voice?
I imagine it would be like Shrek, and Yosh would be played by Willie Murphy.
965752 No.14258461
85625c No.14258481
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>14253785
>Why would Yoshi get a voice?
f100f4 No.14258494
>>14255988
>Ye olde trick of triggering retards feigning ignorance of the current year
f87185 No.14258507
>>14258461
>SoyBoy meme
Doesn't soy only permanently really affect men before puberty? I doubt eating soy based shit as a grown man with enough testosterone for a beard and moustache would really make you a full on sissy faggot unless you ate a lot of soy at a young age. The meme is still funny, though.
c410f5 No.14258519
>>14258308
>Should have been Pixar
>implying [CURRENT YEAR + 3] Pixar is good
Everything they've made post Up has been nothing but absolute shit.
>>14258392
>Willie Murphy
What did he meme by this?
c4d700 No.14258537
>>14258507
You don't need a lot of testosterone to grow a beard or a moustache anon.
>>14258519
The black movie man.
c410f5 No.14258567
>>14258537
>The black movie man
I know.I was joking about you getting Eddie Murphy's name wrong.
53cd44 No.14258590
>>14255387
Wait are they doing an animated Sonic movie?
d91282 No.14258599
>>14255999
share your secrets with us, dubsman
c410f5 No.14258617
>>14258599
>giving a serious reply to a shitposter
For shame dubsman.
f33316 No.14258627
Hooktube embed. Click on thumbnail to play.
>>14256232
Martinet's done fully voiced Mario before. It's not that weird.
53cd44 No.14258634
>>14258627
I'm not really convinced it can carry on the entire movie, but that did make me happy.
f87185 No.14258646
>>14258564
>tabloid
I do not fucking trust that real life equivalent clickbait. However, I do understand that eating a shitload of soy can cause hormonal issues, but using soy milk for your cereal shouldn't do much of anything at all.
440306 No.14258668
>>14258507
>>14258564
Here's some papers I downloaded on the subject. Apparently it can affect you post puberty. I have university access to science databases so I can get a lot of shit you'd have to pay for otherwise.
809124 No.14258688
>>14253683
This is exactly what I didn't need to read at the end of a bad day.
0d3927 No.14258709
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>14254301
At least Street Fighter had some good quotes and it's so bad it's good, SMB has nothing.
Daily reminder that they tried to made this with Zelda.
a9c9ea No.14258737
>>14253722 checked
Please fight some more faggots please Uwe
a96371 No.14258766
>>14258646
>Consuming soy and sugar.
You're a lost cause, enjoy your bitch tits and cancer m8.
000000 No.14258770
>>14258507
I'm split.
On one hand, Chinese food is amazing. On the other, the soy sauce that makes it could can fuck with you.
6435e1 No.14258789
>>14258709
>implying this is not the best joke in Mario history.
833508 No.14258796
>>14253683
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a minion and rabbid bonking each other on the head — forever.
c4d700 No.14258808
>>14258770
Soy sauce can't do anything, it's fermented.
000000 No.14258825
>>14258808
Good to know.
Is there really anything useful soy does beside sauce and feeding livestock?
c4d700 No.14258840
>>14258825
If it makes men grow tits, surely it makes women grow bigger tits? Or would that be feeding livestock?
54a6ff No.14258862
>>14258789
>Stripper on the desk.
>Cop busts a glass to stab an inmate.
Truly a product of its time.
a53dd1 No.14258864
>>14254539
The other DiC Mario is still around?
>>14255270
>Wario
WARIORUMPF AND WAPENCE SHITS ON THE PRINCESSES FOR BEING USELESS, WHAT A BIGOT
>>14258308
>but of course Nintendo fucking cheaps out. Who the fuck are they, where the fuck and what the fuck did they do to the old Nintendo of yore.
They still remain the same, they don't love making videogames but the profits.
73d222 No.14258868
>>14257761
Frankly it amazes me people are surprised.
641dfe No.14258869
>>14258864
Sorry, Danny Wells died. As did Harvey Atkin and Tony Rosato.
73d222 No.14258872
>>14258709
>SMB has nothing.
It's a show about fucking super Mario about real life cloned dinosaurs and hyper-realistic henchmen goomba's. The premise alone is fucking amazing that it came into contact with the Super Mario franchise.
a53dd1 No.14258883
>>14258869
>Sorry, Danny Wells died. As did Harvey Atkin and Tony Rosato.
I mean Mario not Luigi or Bowser.
641dfe No.14258929
>>14258883
Oh. Yeah, Walker Boone is still around. IMDb lists his last role as an actor in the TV series Warehouse 13.
000000 No.14258955
>>14258872
Now imagine The Dark Crystal, but they've licensed it with I dunno, Spore or something?
f6f137 No.14259041
>>14256063
>Make Doom movie.
>Get guy who mostly makes martial arts movies to direct.
>Get The Rock and Karl Urban to star in it.
>Turns out The Rock is playing the bad guy and Karl Urban is supposed to be the Doomguy.
>Have 90% of the goddamn movie shot in the dark.
>Barely see any of the monsters or action.
>Monsters come from some kind of virus and aren't demons from Hell.
>No portal into Hell or any scenes that take place in Hell.
>Have FPS sequence (Only good part of the movie.)
>Ends with The Rock and Urban in a fist fight.
>No Cyberdemon or Spider Mastermind.
WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY THINKING!?
f6f137 No.14259076
>>14256377
I understand her pain.
db7334 No.14259216
>>14256377
I can still say I hate minions more
bf010b No.14259287
>>14259216
But who really died that day?
db7334 No.14259293
>>14259287
A neighbor who put up minion halloween decorations
11047b No.14259308
>>14259287
If someone made a Mario movie out of the various clips of Vinny doing his Captain Lou and Danny Wells impressions it still would be better than whatever we’re getting from Minion studios.
491528 No.14259312
7a3eb9 No.14259666
>>14259041
what do you think
c7ab32 No.14259937
>>14258668
Thanks, friend.
>>14258646
I like to read between the lines. Apparently, his representative said he was "kidding". I take it as them trying to shut it down. This isn't where I first heard this sort of story, just the first one I could find.
585c78 No.14259983
>>14253956
>>14254427
>no hobby darn
Please tell me I wasn't the only one
>>14255624
I have mixed feelings about it, but liking it is hardly an unpopular opinion here.
58fa95 No.14259988
>>14259041
>Have FPS sequence (Only good part of the movie.)
Damn right.
585c78 No.14259996
>>14259666
>those trips
I guess they really are the Synagogue of Satan.
>tfw their catchiest song is the one we expose them with
58fa95 No.14260003
>>14258668
Thanks man, if you got anymore post them
cad403 No.14261264
>>14253773
>didn't get to beat up Michael Bay
based? More like useless.
cad403 No.14261272
>>14258789
and the last name is Nintendo canon
cad403 No.14261279
>>14256052
It would be a decent movie without the Mario franchise tacked on. Change some names, etc.
1c96ed No.14261335
>>14254201
Are you talking about the movie or the next Paper Mario.
2c8051 No.14261341
>>14259041
>>14259988
>FPS section has console tier FOV and looks like it was recorded with a phone
9a8fdd No.14261572
>>14254059
That would be really funny actually.
000000 No.14261979
>>14255743
>be Peach
>everything's fine until Yoshi loses his mind
>be chased around the castle by sexually frustrated dinosaur
>eventually caught and raped by Yoshi
>give birth/lay eggs of bizarre children to rival dronkeys from Shrek
>YOSHIED
7d192b No.14265528
>>14258507
>>14258770
>>14258808
The only soy product I consume is soy sauce on the occasion I eat Asian foods. Does that mean I'm safe from the effects of soy then?
85625c No.14265578
>>14265528
If you are concerned why not look it up on some actual fucking medical site and not ask a bunch of retard virgins on an egyptian snail mail club?
b0d8cb No.14265587
File: f79f959f079e471⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image, 419.55 KB, 929x1148, 929:1148, 2017-06-24-dethiccable-me.jpg)
>>14255988
They're shitty money bait for children and immature or simple adults
Way overdone, like pikachu, you see those little fuckers everywhere now and it's annoying
f13290 No.14265630
>>14258864
I kind of love that idea of wario and waluigi cheating their way through an election and beating peach for supremacy of the new washroom kingdom
73d222 No.14265704
>>14265630
And then during the third act when the Mario team busts through peaches former castle doors they find out that the royal treasury has grown by 600% and Wario and Waluigi have successfully been running the Kingdom more efficiently than Peach ever could. Peach is caught then handed into slavery for a longtime peace between Bowser's army and the Mushroom kingdom while Mario and Luigi form a resistance cell that is slowly crushed until they're left numberless and are forced to live the rest of their days on Yoshi's Island in foreign amnesty. Or at least Mario is. Luigi like the cuck he was sacrificed his life for the trade of several captured resistance cells. (which was a lie they were executed months ago) and it was a ploy to make the final capture that only half succeeded.
Then Peach just gets fucked raw by Bowser for the remaining 15 or so minutes.
3b0ae9 No.14267623