912bda No.14209259
Ready for Hollywood to rape another franchise to death?
http://variety.com/2018/film/news/john-cena-duke-nukem-movie-1202673127/
http://archive.is/1Ktaj
I mean, sure, Gearbox was faster, but they need those sweet, sweet royalties.
0c75ca No.14209262
Duke has been dead for a long time this just raping the corpse.
a5f407 No.14209268
056ec3 No.14209281
>>14209259
Daily reminder that Serious Sam was always superior.
e2ec8e No.14209297
>>14209282
what's wrong with john cena? he killed bad guys, has good taste in games and doesn't afraid of anything
0cddd0 No.14209347
Michael Bay sounds like the only director who could run with Duke Nukem and get somewhere.
bc7e17 No.14209359
>>14209259
>Ready for Hollywood to rape another franchise to death?
Gearbox already beat them to it
421499 No.14209371
>>14209347
>Directed by Michael Bay
Expect tons of shitty jokes where they pause the action to wink at the camera and point out how silly and over-the-top Duke is.
It'll be like if Commando was remade by Gearbox today.
ed986d No.14209378
>>14209324
13 Hours was actually pretty fucking decent.
af8cfd No.14209379
Why does this seem bad? I haven't played every Duke Nukem game, but when I think of Michael Bay, I think
>explosions
>guns
>girls
>aliens
and DN has all that stuff.
af8cfd No.14209389
0cddd0 No.14209435
>>14209371
That's also true. I haven't claimed that it is going to be good. For that to happen, someone has to keep Bay on a short leash and force him mix the cheese into the action. I doubt that someone is going to do that.
fc7fee No.14209440
Who the hell asked for this? Duke isn't even anywhere near his past popularity at the moment. Whom do they think will be the audience for a movie like this?
Furthermore, the thing that made him iconic in 3D was all the parodying of Hollywood film tropes. Will a film of a Hollywood parody retain those parodies and if it does what is even the point?
5fd112 No.14209441
2fcef5 No.14209454
>>14209371
but that's literally how Duke is you dumb fuck
912bda No.14209474
>>14209440
>Who the hell asked for this
Gearbox, presumably.
>Whom do they think will be the audience for a movie like this?
Soymilk males who will watch it because le 90s culture and le irony.
421499 No.14209514
>>14209454
Show me the last time they did something like that in any of the Duke games besides Forever.
I'll fucking guarantee you that the humor behind the games is that they play everything completely straight, rather than needing to point it out to the player.
467a56 No.14209528
>>14209379
Might be because the Doom movie only had one good scene and that starred The Rock. Both movies come from similar genres and both star wrestlers in the role. Also, Hollywood is fucking with anime live action movies and still haven't got it right. How can video games do even better at this point? Hollywood is really hemorrhaging for ideas since they lack and new ones of their own.
2f1cd2 No.14209531
>>14209259
>Make a video game character about a parody of action movies
>He gets his own movie
True cannibalization of creativity occurring right here. They better at least make it a good parody of contemporary action films
2f1cd2 No.14209553
>>14209528
>>14209379
This, I remember when I saw Doom in theaters years ago. I figured it'd be impossible to fuck up such a braindead action film. Boy was I wrong.
64feae No.14209612
are you sure op? Sure that he is going to be cast as the duke and not some general who gets ignored by handsome leading man pic related?
ae20ff No.14209623
It's going to be interesting to watch a movie with a lead actor that you can't see.
5ca0f4 No.14209627
>hating on Baykino
>>14209553
>implying Doom was shit
>>14209528
>Doom only had 1 good scene
Fuck off reddit. Doom movie was actually better than Doom 3 and Aliens. The only mediocre Bay films are Transformers sequels.
c318b9 No.14209629
f3d520 No.14209636
>>14209531
You have not seen any of John Ceno's movies.
c318b9 No.14209644
Also fuck this, I hope Randy Bitchford gets zero shekels from this.
2f1cd2 No.14209645
>>14209627
>it wasn't shit
okay, MAYBE if you had somehow managed to live in a world where you have never heard of Doom or Resident Evil, unfortunately I don't think anyone here can share that unique experience
>it was better than Doom 3
now this is just straight retarded. the movie is just a worse version of Doom 3 down to the aesthetic and monster designs and the sarge, with the plot replaced with the T-Virus some bullshit about chromosomes that totally hasn't been done before
c7fc67 No.14209652
>>14209371
You just described duke nukem 3d anon.
970894 No.14209653
>>14209262
>Duke has been dead for a long time
Obviously you have never played image related.
421499 No.14209660
>>14209653
Why'd you post a blank image, anon?
c7fc67 No.14209662
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>14209514
First one that came to mind, master shake.
ef3c12 No.14209669
>>14209259
>[current year] Duke
>apologizes every day for his whiteness and his toxic masculinity
10002c No.14209683
Post the pic where Randy puppets Duke's corpse on twitter into being a tranny fucker.
5ca0f4 No.14209690
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>14209645
>Doom or Resident Evil
What do they have to do with Doom movie?
>the movie is just a worse version of Doom 3 down to the aesthetic and monster designs and the sarge
Doom 3's aesthetic was dull as fuck. The movie has literally the same monster design, watch it again. The Hellknight, imp, and pinky look just like the ones in the game. The Sarge is pretty cool, soyboy. I mean, fucking watch this shit.
>some bullshit about chromosomes that totally hasn't been done before
The plot has a spiritual undertone actually. Rosamund Pike referred it as the "unmapped chromosome which we would call soul". You're just a brainlet for not seeing it.
af7444 No.14209693
>>14209389
It's Peaky Blinders. It's a series on Netflix about a gypsy crime lord.
2f1cd2 No.14209701
>>14209690
jesus christ you are fucking dense
the plot for Doom was ripped off of Resident Evil and it is glaringly apparent to anyone even passingly familiar with the franchise
and why did you agree with me in your second point and act like it was a rebuttal? fuck me, some of the people on this board
5ca0f4 No.14209714
>>14209701
It's ripped off from Ghost of Mars if anything. Are you stupid? RE is about nothing but muh evil corp creating virus.
4e12fb No.14209715
970894 No.14209719
>>14209259
Duke is going to be black. Calling it now.
2f1cd2 No.14209724
>>14209714
>a virus that mutates you by adding more chromosomes which causes you to become violent inhumane monsters
yeah I'm sure that's just a total coincidence that it happens to have all of that in common.
everyone gawk at the Micheal Bay fan
5ca0f4 No.14209741
>>14209724
There's no virus in Doom dumbass.
75e8e7 No.14209753
>>14209719
African-American ass kissing and virtue signaling is outdated. Duke will be a strong woman.
669c14 No.14209767
>Dyuk film
For what purpose.
>>14209719
I wonder how well that thing did.
>>14209686
>mfw
What makes a man give up any shred of self-respect and settle for a disgusting ham goblin?
I would rather masturbate to cartoon girls till the end of my life than allow myself to be defiled by such a creature.
7c4cac No.14209782
>>14209742
Someone asked what's wrong with John Cena and I just showed you. Someone flaunting cancer because the hollywood hugbox constantly advocates for cancer does not suddenly make it okay and that is not an argument for a defense of John Cena you just made. Try to suck a little less dick, someone would rape you in the ass and you'd beg for more.
2f1cd2 No.14209790
>>14209741
>reread synopsis
>they were actually retarded enough to just inject the chromosome into random people instead of accidentally allowing it to spread through a virus
you know at least teleporting through hell had an immediately tangible benefit, just goes to show how much I cared about this shitty movie after 12+ years. the chromosome shit is still the same though.
ed986d No.14209795
>>14209742
>lol ha ha i know nothing about america
>it's totally not the only nation on earth with free speech
af7444 No.14209820
>>14209734
Are they playing the theme to The Truman Show in the background? I gotta watch that movie again, it was fucking great.
0bba5f No.14209853
>>14209297
>wanting John Cena the faggot lover and the living meme as a badass womanizing alpha
af7444 No.14209882
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>14209820
I forgot that it's also a song in Powaqqatsi, so it's placement in the commercial actually makes sense now.
897517 No.14209894
>>14209853
Yeah but John Cena has funny memes about him therefore everything he does is fine
0bba5f No.14209903
>>14209894
>Yeah but John Cena has funny memes about him therefore everything he does is fine
890d0e No.14209913
>>14209259
He will insist in a Duke Nukem RTS game.
3036f8 No.14209940
>>14209917
THIS ISNT LIKE MY PORN
a26dea No.14209963
>>14209734
I like how he stopped citing percentages when it was clear that the minority groups do not have significant precentages of the population on their own.
2fcef5 No.14209973
>>14209940
i love traps now?!
af7444 No.14209975
>>14209940
Is that actually a dude? Pretty hot for a man.
0bba5f No.14209989
>>14209940
>those shoulders
>that fake jaw
>ton of makeup
remember to not fall for those jewish tricks breasts are pretty good though at first glance but I bet those nips look horrible
3036f8 No.14209998
c29fbb No.14210025
>>14209259
>Ready for Hollywood to rape another franchise to death?
Pitchford already did.
4e12fb No.14210039
>>14210024
Monst women actually sort of have what /v/ would call a "manjaw" but like with the x-files gals case her other facial features dont make it seem off.
It's mostly the shitty devs like bioware and "artists" that fuck it up when it's not really a problem in real life unless the bitch got a cleft chin.
29e77e No.14210046
>Not casting THE BIG DAWG Roman Reigns as Duke
2fcef5 No.14210050
>>14210046
dook is wh*te notifico samoalian
2fcef5 No.14210051
>>14210050
not* what the fuck
8afef7 No.14210081
>>14210024
>manjaws can look good on certain women
7eb875 No.14210084
Whats the point? I somehow doubt they would go full "sexist" in current year +3 so the movie would suck.
792e08 No.14210089
Consider, seriously, starting a campaign to mass kill celebrities in America, anons.
d3462f No.14210097
Just give it to Uwe.
At least he cares about movies and puts his heart into them.
912bda No.14210111
>>14210097
>Uwe
M8. The only good film he made was the Postal one, and that was only because Postal 2 kept pissing on its own head at every available opportunity.
3036f8 No.14210140
>>14210089
celebrities are just tools.
Europe may not have free speech because holocaust denial is literally banned in almost every european country, but at least it is not as bad as in the USA
b33dc3 No.14210148
>>14209917
I look forward to the day the killings start.
0ccd38 No.14210251
>>14209259
As much as I hate (((Hollywood))), they have no chance to ruin a franchise that's already long ruined.
Also, John Cena is a good casting pick for Duke. He actually looks the part.
46c743 No.14210260
My name's Duke Nukem and #ImWithHer
2f1cd2 No.14210307
>>14210089
Believe me friend, I think a lot of us have considered it. If California was made into a separate nation we'd be so much better off. No Democrat would ever make it to the White House again, just like that. Not that Republicans are much better, but hey, cutting out at least half of the cancer helps a little right?
ddf6f6 No.14210362
This fucking thread is everything wrong with /v/. And I'm not talking about the OP.
719dd4 No.14210429
>>14209259
well at least shadow warrior and blood will never have this type of shit
9b11c8 No.14210440
>>14209259
>Ready for Hollywood to rape another franchise to death?
I couldn't give a fuck less about Duke Nukem. The series hasn't been relevant since the 90s.
e8491f No.14210553
>>14209259
But how is this supposed to do well at the box office if you can't see him?
9e7683 No.14210705
>>14209653
is the blank image a meme?
413bf7 No.14210708
John Cena will do a good job. this is a good thing.
9e7683 No.14210731
>>14209734
I wonder if red indians are happy that this fat cunt grouped them with faggots.
97e8d6 No.14210945
>>14209653
your pic's broken fagfuck
1f1fc4 No.14211161
>>14209514
>>14209662
Duke3D had plenty of pop culture jokes. Also the Plutonium Pak missions. Independence Day, Mission Impossible…even the old pre-Jack Sparrow "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride.
b4ab50 No.14211244
Why? We already got The Last Action Hero with the real duke, Arnold.
a6b27c No.14211281
>>14209719
>white guy playing black version of white character
>this confuses the SJW
b0786f No.14212136
>>14209259
>be future
>Duke Nukem movie comes out
>it sticks true to the character
>it has some of the sickest action scenes in years
>no progressive bullshit inserted
>actually good movie
mfw fat chance, but they can't do worse then Gearbox has.
d692cc No.14213092
>>14209853
It is going to be colonel stars and stripes/Jim Carrey all over again. Takes the money for the movie role and condemns the sexism violence etc if he can even bring himself to say such "bad" things.
cebac3 No.14217683
>John Cena
Should at least be shitpost material. Not that I'm going to ever touch it regardless.