/v/ - Happy New Years

>>>/b/

Reported

mmmm I love chocolate milkshakes with the sprinkles

Oh god there's Tails, what the hell is he wearing now

>>14072107

faggot, sonic's been dead. Every autist's raging about scythers nowadays.

Oh, and communism was vidya's enemy, turns out all the (((christian moral guardians))) were actually marxists.

>>14072121

8chan /b/ seems rather unusable as of late, plus I was sure I'd get a more video game related answer here

>>14072127

A watch apparently

>>14072157

After looking into it Sonic Mania looks really good, and their E3 presentation had some funny moments

>>14072107

I'll show it to you, but only if you go to the future, come back and tell us what's gonna happen first.

>>14072363

Deal, give me a few hours

>>14072363

This took me decades to piece together thanks to no internet, so you better not be shitting me anon

Here we go

TL;DR: Get fit and get armed if you are in the west, invest in SEGA if you're not

2018

>Tensions between anarcho-communists and normalfags worsen as they become more violent

>Twitter caught in massive child sex trafficking scandal

>Kingdom Hearts 3 is delayed

>VR still doesn't take off

>Donald J Trump wins Mid-term Election

>Justice Democrats falls to SJWs

>8chan increases file size limit to 20mb

>4chan gets worse

>Halo 6 ends with Master Chief's death, Locke announced as hero of a new trilogy. Fans rebel

>Trump begins crackdown on pedo rings and begins dismantling the FBI and CIA with apparent plans to build his own organizations to replace them

>Netflix and Amazon start outright buying anime studios which 2chan describes as "Shindeiru" every time it happens

>Final Fantasy XV continues to get DLC

>Disney attempts to regain Star Wars licence from EA

>At EA's refusal, Disney buys EA, which undergoes rebranding and downsizing before being renamed Disney Interactive

>Attacks in Europe increase, refugees are said to be getting deported, with less being imported though evidence shows this is lip service

>Grooming gangs increase in activity, becoming a normal sight in many enriched cities but submitted reports never follow through

>Code Vein is released to commercial success

>Attempts to build the wall are stymied by Congress

>Brexit doesn't happen, Corbyn gains support

>Capcom promises REmake 2, stock continues to drop

>Han Solo movie bombs

>THQ Nordic makes a debut with Darksiders 3, sets up 4th game, no dlc is announced

>Detroit:Becoming Human becomes Tumblr nightmare, resulting in mass triggering at implications

2019

>Gypsies break wall at some European university, attacking a bunch of people. Nothing is done

>Xbox 360 live support ends, Xbox One receives a dashboard update replacing 80% of each page with various ads

>Capcom announces Devil May Cry 5 and shows proof of concept video for REmake 2 at E3

>Ms.Marvel starring Daryl Manvers bombs, all but ending the Capeshit trend

>Kingdom Hearts 3 is finally released around the Christmas season, contains 7 worlds, 13 if you count worlds inside of worlds (IE: Kingdom Hearts in the Keyblade Graveyard is counted as it's own world). Considered bretty gud but doesn't live up to hype

>Russia begins plans to relaunch major space program. Begins hiring scientists, engineers and oddly genetic specialists from abroad. Many hop aboard due to starting pays of approximately $35/h usd

>REmake 2 is cancelled due to internal problems, project director leaves but is picked up by SEGA

>Capcom stock drops as shareholders pull out, causing mass hysteria in the company

>Devil May Cry 5 is released in a half finished state, containing 8 levels. Combos are slightly lower than 4 in terms of complexity. Datamining shows at least 30 level titles along with silhouettes and movelists for Nero, Vergil and Sparda though only Dante is playable. DLC for Nero and Vergil is later added, costing $19.99 usd each, adding all but four of the missing levels. Presumably these are Sparda's levels

>Majority of shareholders leave, causing Capcom to panic and announce sequels to Breath Of Fire, Dead Rising and Lost Planet with nothing but logos for E3

>Capcom goes under and is bought by SEGA in time for TGS

>REmake 2 finally gets a gameplay video along with the announcement that it will contain remakes of 3 and the outbreak trilogy

>White Christmas becomes a banned song due to store employees being harassed for it while playing

>Attempts to build wall are slowed due to sabotage and murders committed by cartels, resulting in the military being called in. Progress is slowly made, Military jobs open up, but still not enough for the construction areas to be properly protected

>Kim Jung Un continues jerking off

>Netflix and Amazon owned companies flood the market with progressive anime and marketing, weebs rebel and drop the companies for good

>Sony's movie and music divisions go under due to Beatles lawsuits, Venom movie is shelved

>Square-Enix, Yoko Taro and Hideki Kamiya reach an agreement, original concept of Scalebound receives some light tweaks and rewrites from Taro and becomes Drakengard 4

>Year closes out with Trump assassinated at Montana rally is taken over by antifa and some (((supporters))), numbering around 10000, many rally attendees at the time are killed or severely wounded

>Pinned on militia group within Montana known for having nazi sympathies

>>14073053

2020

>European union collapses as Russia secretly offers aid to many disillusioned eastern european countries, with countries given resources to begin building their own printing presses

>Sega announces new console, the Andromeda, at E3, bundled with a 4k Sonic Mania, REmake 2 and Megaman Legends 3 are announced as launch titles with a Sonic Mania 2 and Phantasy Star Online 3 in the works

>Mass political unrest as United States reels from last year's events. Many cities lose funding and fall to disrepair as rescue services abandon them

>Speaking of abandoned areas, no go zones begin to grow, encroaching and in some scenarios, literally conquering neighbourhoods in western Europe

>Canuckistan all but falls with Sharia courts becoming more and more commonplace

>Devil May Cry 5 Sparda dlc is finally released

>Internet access is cut to many areas as various bureaucrats flee to (((other countries)))

>Russian space program finalized and begins. To fund it Russia launches an actual mail order brides program wherein they use DNA from various world wide blood tests to create artificial humans. Neuroscientists alter personality with subliminal messaging until it matches order specifications. Success rate for various body parts averages approximately 65% while personality edits average about 26%. They are priced at approximately the same as a large house ($750000 USD) but are given for free under a 10 year employment contract, encouraging more employees. This kicks off the waifu age

>The aforementioned innovation leads to feminist rebellion in the streets. It becomes commonplace for people ordering these in the western world to be harassed or attacked by them and their allies. Many normalfags agree with this treatment

>Many internet sites are taken down as their owners abandon ship

>Microsoft is forced to pull out of the console race due to stores being engulfed by surrounding anarchy

>Police in Europe grow increasingly right wing, with "accidents" becoming frequent in various prisons, even before trials

<Various events after

>Ununited States is reUnited by a now grown Barron. Various downloaded videos are used to track down CIA plants who assassinated his father

>One man named Ben is commended as video comes to light of him and his militia fighting off antifa the day of the assassination

>Canuckistan is seized for it's resources, becoming a mostly autonomous Anarcho Capitalist society in the less populated, unsupervised northern regions, with sex trading becoming rampant in many of the so called free cities

>Rebels against the various warring nations in Islamic Europe cause the rise of city states. If you're white and own a house for yourself and 20 of your peers it is considered a feat

>Barron offers aid in the form of troops on the ground. The occupying forces are unprepared for military force

>Corporations become military powers, with SEGA offering expatriation to an established safe zone in Hawaii for anyone who can prove they have one of their consoles

>Disney gains control of kentucky after fierce battles with the Kentucky Fighting Company

>Russia begins construction on a moon base

>Combat robots are perfected, to the point where they can be disguised as mildly autistic humans

>>14073340

2146

>Statues commemorating "war heroes" are built. Segata Sanshiro, Ronald McDonald and Mr.Clean are thought to be real people

>The "corporate armies" become religions, with people even gathering around tvs, computers and game systems like various "Ancients" did, with no regard as to why

>Barron is now called the God-Emperor after sacrificing himself to stop the Sampson Option, saving the western world, and being commended post mortem by Vladimir Putin the 3rd, his god son

>Mars base is finished construction, Moon base reaches population of 11 million

>An electrician is found lost and very confused near a now non-functioning time machine by the cult of SEGA

>He gains their trust by doing various repairs around the city of New York, population 8000, eventually repairing a Genesis demo tv set, despite having trouble communicating with their admittedly outdated radical speech pattern

>As the cult becomes enamored with video games the electrician manages to hail a plane and is taken to Russia

>Despite the language barrier he is able to convince them that he is indeed an electrician

>Is escorted to Moon base, and is allowed to bring the cult so long as they don't get too pushy

>He is tasked with various maintenance jobs around the station. In his free time he plays video games, although he never finds a functioning Andromeda, and researches history in the library to fulfill a promise to an anon he met on Taiwanese Tapestry Weaving board

>He slowly collects parts from various junk stores on the station

>The waifu program is perfected, prices have lowered to about 50000 a unit, with features almost fully customizable, even to the point of having inhuman ears and tails. Many units featuring such upgrades are sold into domestic ownership

>Combat robots and the waifu program combine into a sole program, with the perfected waifu bots being sent down to Earth routinely in the slow clean up of the almost century long mess. The price for a combat model is about $500000, and weighs about 300lbs. These become popular items for rich tourists to bring to Earth on vacation

2189

>Most countries on Earth are populated by rehabilitated barbarians and tourists, with the problem elements having slowly been killed off by natural selection and the waifubots

>Europe is liberated

>The SEGA cult has grown, and are scouring the earth with waifubots to hunt down functioning equipment for their ever growing church

>The electrician finishes his work on the time machine and sets off with his waifu and 4 kids

2017

>I sit down and start typing on the Singaporean Statue soapbox, knowing no one will be likely to believe me

>I realize I've lived a full life getting all this information for a fucking flash cartoon

>>14073053

Maybe you should write science fiction books, instead of playing video games. I am serious. All this autism goes to waste.

>>14073342

Alright, I'll confess I believed you up until Sega offers asylum to console owners.

Lost my shit at Mr Clean and Ronald Mcdoanld being rememered as war heroes.

That other faggot was right, you should try to write something.

You know what's a phrase I haven't heard in a while?

Posting in an epic thread.

It feels appropriate to revive that bit of terminology for a moment.

Someone screencap this shit, I'd do it myself but I'm on mobile.

>>14072107

Life is strange is a great game imo, despite what some tryhard edgelords here say

>>14073687

1/10, made me briefly consider responding seriously. Try harder next time.

>>14073639

They did it to build a consistent market. In the safe areas you could only buy sega products which would pay off the small amount of food they'd give you

>>14073053

>>14073340

>>14073342

How many Valkyria Chronicles games are we going to get?

This is important.

>>14073764

You'll get one every 2-3 years starting just before the Andromeda announcement and continuing until the outbreak causes a 6 year hiatus

>>14073676

>Reddit spacing

>screencap epic thread to show off to reddit

Fuck off

>>14076039

>>14076039

>N-No, I'm not from leddit guise!

Kill yourself.

>>14073053

Of course you just posted what’s statistically most likely, so I’ll only reply with what I think would be different.

>Donald J Trump wins Mid-term Election

That’s not how it works, but I see Republicans keeping control of Congress as long as they’re not as incompetent as they have been for the last 60 years. So…

>Justice Democrats falls to SJWs

What are Justice Democrats?

>Trump begins… …dismantling the FBI and CIA with apparent plans to build his own organizations to replace them

He’ll be assassinated if he does that.

>Netflix and Amazon start outright buying anime studios

Why would they?

>At EA's refusal

They can’t refuse.

>Brexit doesn't happen

It’s too late. It has already happened. You don’t understand what that means.

>2019

>White Christmas becomes a banned song due to store employees being harassed for it while playing

lol nah

>Year closes out with Trump assassinated at Montana rally

lol nah

>Pinned on militia group within Montana known for having nazi sympathies

And absolutely no one, anywhere, would believe that.

>2020

>European union collapses as Russia secretly offers aid

Oh, it’ll collapse without Russia’s help, and Eastern Europe won’t accept Russia’s help anyway.

>Mass political unrest

That’s a funny way of saying The Second American Civil War.

>Many cities lose funding

Food, you mean. Lose food. As conservatives blockade all traffic and starve them out.

use DNA from various world wide blood tests to create artificial humans. Neuroscientists alter personality with subliminal messaging until it matches order specifications. Success rate for various body parts averages approximately 65% while personality edits average about 26%.

You don’t seem to get how genetics works.

>Many internet sites are taken down as their owners abandon ship

That’ll be true after the pedo crackdowns only.

>Police in Europe grow increasingly right wing

You’re an idiot. European police are the enforcement arm of the continental marxist parties.

>a now grown Barron

Go back to the_donald. The rest devolves into insanity.

>>14076361

>Doubting the montana militia

Wew