ba04d8 No.14009912
Dark Souls III/ Humanity Phantom Body Pillow
100 US dollars
Now we can declare Dark Souls having jumped the shark
50c86a No.14010428
>>14009912
How do you figure? It's just some gay merch from some no-name company.
6234e9 No.14011555
>>14009912
Is this the Dark Souls of pillows?
53831a No.14011869
Might have been cute if it was the size of a normal pillow. This looks dumb as fuck.
0bae7c No.14011874
>>14009912
But can I fuck it?
808139 No.14011889
>>14011555
I'm pretty sure the daki of snek would be the dark souls of pillows.
92adf7 No.14011890
>>14011874
That's entirely dependent on how hard you're willing to try.
0bae7c No.14011900
>>14011890
Of course I could install artificial vagina, anus and mouth in it, but I'd have to buy the pillow and all assets separately and then sew it in and that's terrible
a89e71 No.14011920
>>14011869
I could settle for a cute stylized Humanity plushie.
I don't buy game merch on principle though
e3dda3 No.14011934
It just looks like shit. The darkest black in it is too light.
c87959 No.14011943
If I throw it into a fire, can I gain back what has been lost to me?
b936f6 No.14011947
seems like you could just make your own pretty darn easily.
28e581 No.14011980
>>14011947
>make the cloth covering
>stuff it with something
>go to a friend who owns a fireplace's house and rub soot on it
100 dollarydoos
f9f07c No.14011997
Is that expensive for body pillows?
5bd110 No.14012013
>>14009912
I'll get one only if I also get to fuck that Artorias
8562ca No.14012023
>>14009912
Why would I want a daki of something that isn't my waifu?
0e53ae No.14012053
How much for the Emerald Herald?
880465 No.14012063
>>14011889
>daki of snek would be the dark souls of pillows
Only if you go for quantity over quality. True patricians go for horse
964009 No.14012101
>>14009912
>Holding Pillow™
Does it come with a side of donuts?
c3996c No.14012500
Why the fuck wouldn't they actually put a dakimakura joke weapon with a special ability in the series to unlock instead? That would be hilarious and show they're clever and enjoy what they do.
5689a6 No.14012502
>>14012500
Cause souls is not known for real life joke weapons?
c3996c No.14012506
>>14012502
Yet there's an impractical fucking smashing wheel for a weapon.
5689a6 No.14012509
>>14012506
Impractical is not the same as joke, and they all always fit the aesthetic of the games. It's like throwing in a light saber, it makes no sense.
c3996c No.14012517
>>14012509
I'm just pointing out the absurdity and saying something optional making a silly nod to this stupidity already wouldn't be completely in bad taste. It does look literally large enough to hit someone with and just not do nearly much damage, but maybe knock them on their ass.
889450 No.14012569
>>14012023
Todd Howard tellytubby daki
9bcfa0 No.14012613
>Visit my dad for spring break during uni last year
>We eventually ride in his car to go to a restaurant with some family friends.
>Look in the back seat.
>See a Daikumura with a blonde female character in a black bikini on the floor of the back seat, don't recognize her at all.
>Spend the Lion's Share of my trip in awkward silence as I wonder how and why my 61 year old not-a-weeb-at-all-father has a Daikumura from an anime I don't recognize.
>Begin to doubt my power level.
>Never ask him about it at all and hope I can forget what I saw and move on with my life.
>At this point I just assume my dad is a closet weeb.
>I never asked him about it.
>And I never will.
What would you do in this situation, guys?
e02b8b No.14012626
>>14012613
Confirm if he's a weeb or not and if so rec him some good shit as a loyal son
792fcb No.14012627
>>14012063
Looks comfy as fuck. Wish it was double the size, though.
a6c0fe No.14012631
>>14012613
>closet weeb dad
sounds awesome, I think I'd ask about it a little bit, ask if he's watched anything current or if he's a waifu-fag.
ab01b9 No.14012639
>>14012613
Ask him for sauce
1a8b6f No.14012674
>>14012613
Maybe he wanted to bond with you and did some research on what weeaboo faggots like you like. Sounds like a cool dad tbh.
9bcfa0 No.14012701
>>14012674
>>14012639
>>14012631
>>14012627
>>114012627
I have kept my power level well hidden. Just about the only anime he thinks exists is Dragonball Z and he thinks it has nothing to do with Japan. Seriously. That was the most confused I have ever felt about my dad. Where the fuck did he get a waifu pillow? How do you even broach that subject, man?
2df89c No.14012725
>>14011920
What principle? If it looks like trash, sure, but what about decent figures?
>>14011997
Depends. Decent pillows like memory foam can be, and so can daki cases depending what they're made out of. Chances are this thing is pretty crappy.
>>14012500
Because this is not fucking Akiba's Trip.
7773e7 No.14012727
Is it true that holding it will restore my humanity?
>>14012701
It must be a prank
8955aa No.14012731
>>14012701
it's a gift for you
0d9341 No.14012744
>>14012701
>"Hey dad, what's with the pillow?"
a6c0fe No.14012748
>>14012701
Describe what she looked like, maybe an anon here can guess it.
9bcfa0 No.14012750
>>14012731
>>14012727
He never gave it to me. If it was a prank he would have use it to full effect. It was in the back seat and before I left it was gone. Anon. I never asked him about it because he is an adult and can dc what he wants. The only reason it bothers me is because its appearance was so random. Aren't those things expensive as fuck?
9bcfa0 No.14012762
>>14012744
Dude, that is so rude. Imagine if someone out of the blue asked you about your waifu.
7773e7 No.14012764
>>14012762
HEY SON, WHAT'S WITH THE PILLOW?
6efa46 No.14012770
>>14012613
>>14012750
Describe the character now, we need to judge your dad's taste.
0d9341 No.14012782
>>14012762
What, you think your dad is some fragile faggot who can't stand someone asking about his supposed body pillow he for some reason keeps in his bloody car? That's rude.
0d9341 No.14012784
>>14012770
This. Screw the pillow. We need to know if his waifu a shit or not.
6730da No.14012792
>>14012770
Seriously, for fuck's sake describe the god damn daki.
9bcfa0 No.14012794
>>14012770
Blonde, skinny wearing a black bikini with a tie side and some military style numbers on the top piece. That is literally all I remember. I don't remember her eye color but my memory is telling me either blue or pink.
9bcfa0 No.14012797
>>14012794
An utterly forgettable anime girl tbh
215a1d No.14012805
>>14012762
shut the fuck up faggot the way you type is pissing me off
6730da No.14012808
>>14012794
Were the numbers on one side or both?
b95e38 No.14012809
>>14012797
Is there anyway you can take a pic of it?
2df89c No.14012817
>>14012750
As I said it depends what the inner pillow and cover are made of. Nice ones are a couple hundred but they can be pretty cheap and nasty.
http://buyfags.moe/Details_for_each_type_of_buyfaggotry#Dakimakura
>>14012809
Better yet, sketch it like that one guy on /g/ and the dude with all the Apple products.
9bcfa0 No.14012818
>>14012808
>>14012809
This was more than a year ago. I honestly can't remember all the details. She kind of looked like samus. But her hair was much longer.
6efa46 No.14012819
>>14012794
Military style numbers makes me think of kancolle or girls und panzer.
Do you remember any other features at all?
9bcfa0 No.14012821
>>14012819
No sorry if you could show me some girls from those shows that are blonde it might trigger something though.
de1812 No.14012822
>>14012613
My father told me that he watched High School DxD & Highschool of the Dead
What would you do in this situation, guys? Because it feels fucking weird
b8af30 No.14012827
>>14012762
Are you really some kind of autistic fag who spills his spaghetti whenever he gets called out on being a piece of weeb trash? Even if you are, do you really think your dad is as much of a pathetic dweeb as you?
>>14012822
Tell your dad he has shit taste.
6730da No.14012832
>>14012822
Maybe introduce him to stuff that isn't shit?
9bcfa0 No.14012834
>>14012827
That's not it at all nigger. I just respect his privacy.
215a1d No.14012835
>>14012822
I would be happy to have a father because mine left when i was 2
9bcfa0 No.14012841
>>14012835
I'm sorry to hear that, anon.
I'll be your dad.
215a1d No.14012844
>>14012841
no thanks i dont want to get raped
6730da No.14012845
>>14012841
Bitch, you can't even confront your dad about his shit waifu, what makes you think you could be a father?
b95e38 No.14012850
>>14012818
You could try looking for it maybe
4aa8e5 No.14012852
>>14012794
This is important anon. How big were her breasts?
9bcfa0 No.14012863
>>14012852
A C Cup at least. She was really skinny you could see her hipbones. It could have been a doujin piece too so the character's features might not be accurate to the show or game she was from. It might have been an original character all together. I can't look for it because I do not live at home.
b8af30 No.14012864
>>14012834
You would have a point if you found it while rummaging around in his closet or something, but it was sitting in the back seat of his car while you were in it. He obviously did not consider it private.
a6c0fe No.14012871
>ITT: Anons take on the case of tracking down an old man's waifu
c3996c No.14012877
>>14012822
Ask him which tits he liked more and say he's not being reasonable if he doesn't say it's the demon girls.
2df89c No.14012878
>>14012822
Why worry, he's straight.
>>14012819
I'm not finding a lot just searching the *boorus.
>>14012863
It's not likely to be an original. Most dakis are of popular characters.
792fcb No.14012882
>>14012863
Just ring your old man up and ask him about it. Make sure to record your conversation to forever preserve your legacy.
215a1d No.14012890
c3996c No.14012893
>>14012878
End of 2017 and I still can't believe this is a main girl.
That Issei guy needs to hurry up and start making babies with his mistresses like a real king.
6730da No.14012894
>>14012878
>It's not likely to be an original. Most dakis are of popular characters.
That's the thing, I can't find anything matching anon's description, I'm starting to think his dad got a custom one made.
b95e38 No.14012900
>>14012863
You could try calling him like the other anon said or talk to him one day and bring it up
4aa8e5 No.14012910
>>14012894
It could be that he remembered something incorrectly. Like in the lighting of the car the hair only looked blonde but was pink as an example.
6730da No.14012916
>>14012910
Possible, I'd like to believe his father is just a turboweeb.
9bcfa0 No.14012920
>>14012910
No. I went look again the next day. It was definitely blonde in a black two piece bikini. The art was really nice and had good colors. It was a quality piece.
a6c0fe No.14012922
>>14012920
Draw an oekaki of her, this is immensely important.
215a1d No.14012923
>>14012920
i have a feeling you're bullshiting us anon
918619 No.14012931
>>14012920
>Says didn't remember the details
>Got a good look at it the next day
a26b8a No.14012934
ab01b9 No.14012940
>>14012822
>HS DxD
I watched an episode, it was boring with shitty dialogue and traps.
Any good ecchi shit you fags can reccomend?
Off topic sage
de1812 No.14012941
>>14012827
>>14012832
I blame my brother for only watching anything as long it has tits. Hopefully it was oly a temp thing and he has forgotten about watching anime.
>>14012877
>>14012878
It is not about if he likes boobs or not. Look, if your father talked about his raifu how would you felt about it?
4aa8e5 No.14012949
>>14012920
You're sure it was all black?
de1812 No.14012953
9bcfa0 No.14012971
>>14012845
I am really bad at drawing but I am trying to find something as close to it as I can remember.
>>14012923
>>14012922
>>14012949
>>14012954
I am positive. The closest girl that jogs my memory is this one
2df89c No.14012978
>>14012941
Fair point. I don't generally talk about stuff like that to my parents even though I keep my figs on display and such.
>>14012940
>good
<ecchi
Choose one.
>>14012954
Cutting board.
27c1c6 No.14012998
>>14012971
I give. I have been through most of my catalog and have only seen one blond wearing a black bikini.
>>14012978
>Cutting board.
Only one i could find that remotely matched the description. Here have a spider
3690de No.14013010
>>14012794
What do you mean by military style numbers?
9bcfa0 No.14013012
Sorry I coukdb't be more helpful. It was a year ago and I only got a quick peek at it. How would you feel if someone was ogling your waifu? You think I'm trying to nor my dad or something?
9bcfa0 No.14013015
>>14013010
Big block style numbers.
27c1c6 No.14013019
>>14013010
Maybe it was a boat. Were there any blonds besides Shimikaze?
b8af30 No.14013025
>>14013012
>You think I'm trying to nor my dad or something?
215a1d No.14013030
>>14012941
>Hopefully it was oly a temp thing and he has forgotten about watching anime.
Do you think playing video games is any better than watching anime normofaggot anon?
8cb050 No.14013032
>>14013019
Iowa and Bismarck.
27c1c6 No.14013038
>>14013032
Iowa is kind of bikini like i guess
2df89c No.14013051
>>14012998
I meant that she was the wrong figure for the dad daki. It probably isn't on the *boorus it'd likely be easier to use general searches if the character is identified, or maybe even Pixiv.
>>14013012
To be fair I think it was intended to be looked at.
9e14e7 No.14013064
>>14013019
Maybe it was a witch, or a tank operator.
8cb050 No.14013071
>>14013038
Also matches military style numbers on the top piece, though you can't see it on this particular daki.
de1812 No.14013082
>>14013030
>normofaggot anon?
what? I don't think so but if you had to choose between the two, which one would you talk about? Neither
Don't get me wrong I like anime and manga but as a man it is harder to talk about how you like these cute moeblobs I have a weakness for cute stuff than there is to talk about the latest dudebro shooter. Usually you would be invited to the range if you talk about cowadooty.
166861 No.14013091
>>14009912
>Hmmmm we need to get people to buy our dark souls merch
>What could we put on a body pillow?
>Gwynevere?
>Crossbreed Priscilla?
>Karla?
>Quelana of Izalith?
>Lord's Blade Ciaran?
>Andre?
>Any of the crows?
>Weaponsmith Ornifex?
>Patches?
>Company Captain Yorshka?
>Soliare?
>Yuria of Londor?
>Anastacia of Astora?
>Quelaan?
>Rosaria, Mother of Rebirth?
>Gwyndolin?
>Sirris of the Sunless Realms?
>Irina of Carim?
>Dancer of the Boreal Valley?
>>Firekeeper (Dark Souls 3)?
>Gavlan?
>Sweet Shalquoir?
>Emerald Herald?
>Dusk of Oolacile?
>Reah of Thorolund?
>Sieglinde of Catarina?
>Elizabeth?
Nahhh
Lets use the currency that was written out after the first game, that was also an enemy in the first one that hurt you just be touching you.
This better be a really unconformable pillow because humanity is not pleasant to be around
ad3420 No.14013100
>>14013091
It's the enemy, not the item. I'm not sure if humanity phantoms ever showed up outside of AotA though.
eb4cac No.14013105
>>14013025
Later that year.
>A local man shoot his son over an anime sex pillow. He was heard shouting "NOBODY NTRs MY WAIFU, SHE'S PURE!!!" as he was dragged by the police.
9bcfa0 No.14013112
>>14013105
She looked pure. It wasn't very lewd except for the swimsuit part.
27c1c6 No.14013119
>>14013105
>Local man commits sudoku after entire nazi video game image board takes pictures NTRing his waifu
Fixed
166861 No.14013122
>>14013100
Story wise they were the same thing, and I seriously doubt it. Much as from likes to recycle armor, I don't think they recycled humanity phantoms, though if 2 hadn't been such a shitshow that even after an enhanced remake they still struggled to salvage the lore for 3, I'm sure there is an alternate timeline where Dark Souls 2 had humanity and they not only reused them but expanded on them.
2df89c No.14013160
>>14013091
>Sweet Shalquoir?
>>14013112
It'd have to be fairly safe if he's parading it around. Also can't figure out who it'd be, but I doubt she's from GuP, there aren't any long-haired blondes in that.
166861 No.14013245
>>14013160
Literaly make it a square that can stand up on its own and have the left side be the left side of dumb cat and the right the right
e6bb13 No.14013301
>>14009912
>See body pillow at Target with the express goal of getting a lewd dakimakura for it
>Most are crazy expensive
>Find a shimakaze one I like for cheap
>Order it
>Wait the maximum amount of time before amazon automatically gives my money back
>Never even try to buy another one and tell myself it was a dumb idea and that I'm not that pathetic
>Just now spent about 30 minutes looking for one again
>Room has a kind of fantasy aesthetic
>Found a Megumin one I like and also one of Shiro from No Game No Life that would match my many creepy Alice in Wonderland framed puzzles by a japanese artist.
>Despite that I'm leaning more toward one of Cecily Cambell from The Sacred Blacksmith aka the anime with that bait gif of a katana cutting a gigantic sword in two.
3690de No.14013377
>>4013301
Listen to your heart anon. You will know which one will be the correct choice.
166861 No.14013382
>>14013301
flip a coin
heads you do it
tails you don't
you can't regret the outcome
as you didn't have a choice
84ef0d No.14013609
>>14013245
I would buy that just to freak my cat out.
7773e7 No.14013653
>>14013091
They're just trying to come up to you for a cuddle
acd94a No.14013969
>>14013301
Don't cheap out on the pillow if you intend to sleep with it. It needs to be comfortable. Similarly, check what the case is made of, if it's cheap stuff you're better off using it as a wall hanging. Also, it's partly personal preference but try for something that isn't overly lewd. It's nicer to snuggle with a heartboner.
Also what are the other two you're looking at?
>>14013245
That's not a daki. Also a Shalquoir ornament would be nice.
c37780 No.14014096
>>14013100
>>14013122
The only other time in the series besides 1 was during the second DLC of 3 where if you used an otherwise useless item you could pick up during the game that transformed you into a sprite so you could access a secret area.