/tv/ - Television and Movies

You forgot the link

https://www.pscp.tv/w/1kvJpkkZvkwGE

>>1014564

I'm going to rotate the footage. It'll be better than that.

>>1014561

how empty is the movie theater?

Can't you put it on a streaming dite with a chatbox? That would be fun, I don't want to watch this garbage but if it was streaming and I could mock it with you faggots I might be persuaded.

>>1014577

same here

>>1014583

Lost.

I don't even want to and I'm already seeing this with my best friend, my sister & her boyfriend and my dad. 3 times. Separately.

>>1014622

I can understand once (suffered the same fate with TFA) but 3 times? Come on man. At least make an excuse.

Three movies in, still not feeling on why I should give a damn about these diversity cronies.

Fucking dammit, missed most of the shit.

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>>1014561

So Luke is now this ultra powerful Jedi who can manifest holograms of himself across the universe but he didn't notice that his best friend was killed by his former apprentice?

>>1014563

Snoke actually seems like a cool character too bad he's in this movie.

>>1014565

>>1014568

Holy shit this script is awful. It's hard to even blame the actors this time. It's like something i would write in middle school.

>>1014661

For keks obviously.

>>1014655

Top kek, edgelord dollar-store Adrien Brody, those poor gay shippers of dindu stormtrooper and resistance ace pilot, Mark Hamil having too much damn fun, interracial bullshit, and that shitty choreograph lightsaber fights. This train wreck keeps on giving!

>>1014655

Why is Rey able to project that charm bracelet through the Force? When did that training happen?

>rey can see the future

>she is the only one capable of turning siths

>she's magically a jedi now

>>1014589

Christ, her flailing with a stick and lightsaber around looks pathetic. If they zoomed out and showed her moving without constant jumpcuts it would literally just be that fat kid with a stick from a decade ago.

>>1014563

Really sad to see Snoke the Coke addict replacing Sheev the Jedi-Shiv who had more stage presence, charisma, and generally a better Galactic order than "Hurr durr, kill Jedi! corrupt emo-face baloney nipples Solo!"

>>1014657

The kid in the stable with the force is a boy, not a girl. It's not a nigger either. What's going on here? How on earth would (((Disney))) allow him to be white and ma…oh wait he's probably a faggot.

>>1014676

DON'T

NEED

NO MAN!

>>1014686

At least he's got black eyes.

>>1014672

it's about space ships and shit

At least the other two movies had some cool stuff in it. TFW was a nostalgia fest with a semi competent story. Rogue One was a kinda interesting story with some neat characters and set pieces. But this shit has nothing.

>story is bad

>script is awful and delivered poorly by these actors who all look like they don't want to be there

>all the set pieces are boring as fuck and feel like they're straight out of a video game

>the filters and camera work make the entire thing feel very drab

This whole movie feels like DLC for the Force Unleashed. I really don't think normies can deal with this. There's absolutely nothing to gravitate to. Maybe with the exception of Snoke. He almost has that great villain vibe like Sheev or Scar from the Lion King, but is so underwritten it doesn't matter. But normies are not going to give a shit about him.

>>1014614

>pink-haired bitch knowingly sets everybody up for a suicide run

>somebody gets upset

>later in the movie, turns out he was right

>pink-haired bitch is somehow still a hero

>>1014672

Very unrealistic. Laser swords, magic powers, black people in space.

>>1014707

40k has that too Thou even there the Black people are BLACK people, not Niggers

>>1014563

Did they really think their new target audience is so dumb that they had to replace "light saber" with "laser sword"?

>>1014723

It feels like nobody else in the universe notices or gives a fuck that these two groups of spastics are fighting each other.

>>1014723

How the fuck did they even build a fucking superweapon in the first place if they were just a fucking small remnant of the empire? And if the New Republic is supposedly the official government, why is their main military force called "The Resistance"? The disney movies are just a fucking mess. TFA was a shit-tier flick whose main premise and appeal was 'muh nostalgia' and reference, and TLJ is just… I dont even know what the fuck this is supposed to be.

>>1014723

POLITCS I BET YOU LIKE THE TRILLOGY REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

:^)

>>1014704

TFW was garbage imitation that undid all 6 films story development before it, Rogue One was a shitty "canon" adaptation of Kyle Katarn's Deathstar plans heist.

>>1014724

I said kinda interesting not good. At least it had some sort of coherent story to follow.

>>1014723

Hey dumb dumb we all decided that we don't need no space politics after the prequels so we also don't need any reasoning for anything. Like why the 1st Order even exists except to look and act like the empire. Or why the "resistance" even exists except to simulate OT

>>1014648

nobody cares you weeaboo cocksucker.

>>1014733

fuck calm down. I'm speaking from a normalfag perspective here. There was things in the other movies that you could latch onto to pretend they were good movies. This new one has none of that

>>1014740

Say what you will about Jew Jew, but he could at least mimic spectacle that normies will latch on.

>>1014743

Exactly, he even made Star Trek normalfag accessible. That's pretty much his job, is to make something that meets normie expectation. Rian Johnson has no idea how to do that or make a good movie.

>>1014740

>fuck calm down. I'm speaking from a normalfag perspective here.

Normalfags have shit taste, it's why Pedowood will still continue to shit out garbage.

>>1014748

wow thanks for the contribution you're why this board is great

>>1014743

>>1014747

Trying to make something mindlessly formulaic and normalfag-tier is infinitely worse than trying to be original, no matter how bad your ideas are. JJ is honestly scum for a completely different set of reasons than Rian.

>>1014750

Thanks, I love to think people are giving Abrams a thumbs up for shitting up Stars Wars canon and helping Disney with their "original" movies even further are just braindead retards who only praise him because he made Star Wars accessible for even more cancerous fans while making it completely shit, add in EA and Battlefront 2's microtransaction gambling there too.

>>1014756

Oh I agree. TFA is a fucking trainwreck once you try to even chip at the shallow veneer of competency. TLJ is just building on that sandy foundation.

>>1014561

Luke drinking for the monster milkers is in part 2. What part is Super Leia?

>>1014751

It's weird because she doesn't do this in her other movies at least from what i've seen.

>>1014752

It should've focused on the empire and been a much tighter story with less characters and distractions. The problem with it was it was all over the place and the characters sucked. Made the whole movie feel very empty like a commercial for insurance

>>1014756

>>1014758

nobody is disagreeing that these are terrible movie you dumb fuck

>because he made Star Wars accessible for even more cancerous fans

SW has always been incredibly mainstream you delusional fuck

>>1014760

Agreed. But I can't deny that JJ knows how to make money the easiest way possible, and sadly that's what Hollywood wants rather than actual great films with solid stories. If they can have every studio run by a team of JJs and Bays and never bring in new talent ever again, then they'd fucking do it…

>>1014665

Well Kylo can fight, but he ran into current-year stronkwomyn so bad luck for him.

>>1014726

Because no time is spent showing how either side impacts anyone else. It's still unclear whether Corouscant was obliterated in that bullshit multi-strike. You can assume it, but nobody seems to care. The only show of loss I remember seeing is Leia hugging Rey over Han. There is no observable cause and effect in these nu-movies. This whole movie in particular, we get space, Luke's island, a casino, and a salt world. There is nothing to gauge what is at stake.

>>1014736

>we all decided that we don't need no space politics after the prequels

That was one of the few things the prequels got right. I can't remember what the others were, but if you're going to have a story that spans a galaxy, I imagine you're going to want some universe-building. A civil war and decades of empire over a trade dispute? A galaxy scrambling to take pieces out of a smashed alliance pie after a surprise attack from an assumed dead imperial force run by a gangly spook that gets axed in the second act by his manchild and friends on a quest to i dunno, make sure the crimes of the sith and the jedi never happen again? Sign me up, just make it coherent.

>>1014728

>How the fuck did they even build a fucking superweapon in the first place

And do so without calling any attention to themselves?

>>1014766

>SW has always been incredibly mainstream you delusional fuck

Even back then it was never as mindlessly one-dimensional as these new films are. They really felt like a universe all their own, unlike this milked mess.

>>1014766

>SW has always been incredibly mainstream you delusional fuck

The EU says otherwise you dumb fucking idiot, of course Disney and Jew Abrams killed it because they couldn't get a diverse cast and story that is even more fucking mainstream and accessible with brain dead formulaic and predictable like what Marvel is doing with their movies. Tell me if they ever thought of making sequels that didn't render the last six movies fucking moot.

>>1014775

The authoritarian militaristic stuff is the only good aspect of these movies. Perfect example of producers not understanding the material and normalfags not knowing what they want

>>1014776

>That was one of the few things the prequels got right

Oh yeah, the problem wasn't the space politics it was the fact that the directing was so stale and the script was retarded. The space politics made no sense and ultimately didn't have any consequence other than Sheev gaining power

>>1014777

>Even back then it was never as mindlessly one-dimensional as these new films are

The problem is they're actually not one dimensional enough. The OT was very focused on these specific characters and the setting was well defined. A New Hope was very tight with it's presentation. These new movies don't focus on anything and have very vague settings

>>1014781

This is like saying that Zootopia isn't mainstream because FurAffinity exists. You're not a nerd if you like SW even if you read into the EU. Those are still very mainstream books and video games and shit.

>>1014763

Found it. It's part 5 and holy fuck it's bad.

>>1014573

>I’ve dealt with plenty of trigger-happy flyboys like you

>As you’re still getting bombarded

What a dumb cunt. Leia really should have died in that explosion rather than flying back. Carey is dead, so what the hell are they going to do with her character other than turn her into some prop.

I’d rather the story stick to Kylo, so that we can see his character develope. Rey is a bust and nothing else happens. Even the imperial fleet’s bombardment gets turned into background noise. The space battle was so fucking lame.

>>1014667

How is Finn a nigger? I haven't seen any or the films, but what I can piece together is he's a former competent soldier who supports the status quo, but realizes the Empire are faggots and quits, becomes a bro good with a blaster and piloting and even manages to train to become a fucking Jedi to help his friends.

None of that sounds like a retarded degenerate while not going full Mary Sue at the same time.

>>1014795

>This is like saying that Zootopia isn't mainstream because FurAffinity exists. You're not a nerd if you like SW even if you read into the EU. Those are still very mainstream books and video games and shit.

Don't drag your furshit into this, they killed the EU because they couldn't make their own canon or hell, make a standalone movie line that doesn't have to share the same timeline with the last 6 movies or even the EU, "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…." They can't even just make their own stories without making everything from the last six films moot and did not fucking matter.

>You're not a nerd if you like SW even if you read into the EU.

Oh just kill yourself you fucking contrarian faggot.

To be honest, this movie felt like a Netflix tv show.

>>1014804

>How is Finn a nigger?

that's like asking how is Kanye West a Nigger

>>1014804

>How is Finn a nigger?

Because of his fat chimp face?

Honestly, the character is just dull and the actor is not charismatic. That could be said for most of the new characters.

>>1014809

Spot on.

>>1014804

Allow me to interject

>former competent soldier

No. He got bad feels on the first fight, and ran away afterwards. TFA then helpfully reveals later that he was a literal janitor on DeathPlanet 2.0

>realizes the Empire are faggots

lol

>even manages to train to become a fucking Jedi to help his friends.

If you count swinging a lightsaber wildly as training, and fucking getting himself into a coma afterwards and had to rescued by Sue Rey as helping

>>1014811

Kanye is a funny dumbass who inconceivably has a superiority complex and thinks he's a literal genius when all he does is make corporate music.

>>1014819

And he's African, which means he's a Nigger

Nigger coming from the Latin Negro meaning Black

>>1014803

She is the single worst cunt in all of this.

>i don't need to explain shit, fuck off

>oh no, you found out my plan was retarded

>no, i won't discuss a better alternative

>how dare you mutiny, omg, i'm such a victim

>lol leia backs me, now you're imprisoned

>oh no, you were right and my dumbfuck plan is getting people shot down left and right

>i'll never admit it and get a hero's death, fuck you triggerhappy flyboy!

Massive cunt.

>>1014807

nigger you're the contrarian faggot trying to pretend the EU matters to even people who read the EU. You want to talk about garbage, that's what most of the EU is. Then you want complain about them not adapting that garbage while at the same time calling them incapable of making their own stories which is true. Giving a shit about SW in the way you are is incredibly pathetic.

>>1014809

that is exactly what it felt like

>>1014816

>he was a janitor

Way to shit on your own premier nonwhite character as a childhood hero and a role model, holy fuck.

>>1014820

Why is nigger offensive then?

>>1014822

A nigger calling other people nigger, good job on disregarding 30 years of works you fucking faggot, all in all so everything is "Accessible" right? you are a movie pedowood whore who have shit taste and just love shilling unironically the garbage Disney shits out by constantly praising Jew Jew Abrams attempts as "Mainstreaming" everything to the point where it's just formulaic turdslinging from one movie to the next, just end it all and kill yourself. Because a "real" star wars nerd doesn't need to read any media beyond he movies right? fucking retarded faggot.

>>1014804

>n-not all black people are niggers

Who let cuckchan in here?

>>1014824

Because niggers hey uppity

>>1014602

And there it is, the moment where even my forgiving garbage watching ass would be going "Hells fucking no"

She just beat luke skywalker in hand to hand combat. The mary sue is starting to show even more than I expected. Fucking garbage. Thanks for sharing so I don't have to suffer watching it on any paid platform.

>>1014826

>you are a movie pedowood whore who have shit taste and just love shilling unironically the garbage Disney shits out

i'm not the one who thinks SW is good or gives a shit about these movies you absolute lunatic

kill yourself

>>1014724

The only good thing about Rogue One is that it proved that the Death Star was an inside job.

>>1014832

In the next movie, she'll kill Kylo in the first five minutes and then rebuild the Republic brick by brick with her own two hands.

>>1014661

>its not even canon

Out of everything that could have happened with Star Wars, at least Disney gave it an "end" by declaring all of the EU "non-canon" (Thereby making a self-contained universe than cannot be further screwed with).

>>1014697

The Rifftrax guys (Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy–Mike, Crow after Trace left, and Tom Servo for the entire series except the first season) have done every SW film already, as well as Rogue One and The Star Wars Holiday Special.

https://www.rifftrax.com/collection/star-wars

Just pirate the films (TPB has them all) with the rifftrax already added (because you’d have to sync them up manually otherwise) and then send the guys a donation. They really deserve it, and the rifftrax for all of them are great.

>rogue one

>“Captain, we’re receiving a transmission from the planet’s surface!”

>“… send NUDES?!”

>>1014848

I declare the EU canon again and all Disney shit as non-canon.

>>1014832

Would Damian still beat her?

>>1014856

Damnatio Memoriae would be the ultimate. Simply create a new Star Wars VII. Even title it The Force Awakens so it replaces it completely.

>>1014863

At this point, I'd accept NJO as the starting point of the new trilogy. It'll be a fucking strong opening too, with the Vong being the big bad invading the complacent New Republic.

>>1014804

He's a traitor, a rebelscum, is ugly even by average british standards, teams up with a shitty rebel who literally does jack shit other than to be there, instead of living his own life he becomes the lapdog of some dumb broad while fighting for a cause that the rest of the galaxy clearly does not give a shit about.

>>1014809

Almost every modern film is like that, and that's not a good thing.

There's like 1 white person in the entire movie lol.

>>1014804

>I haven't seen any or the films

This is the exact moment you should have stopped typing and reconsidered your life choices up to now.

>>1014804

He is black.

>>1014872

Vong would at least be interesting and fresh. I have a feeling they went with the Empire again 50% because they were too lazy to come up with something new and 50% because muh nazis.

With Vong they could bank on people being nostalgic for orcs. Get cool masks like LotR and sell it as a similar trilogy against a horde of unstoppable evil. That would be easy money, but then they couldn't bring Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewie back for the "geekculture" faggots.

>>1014824

>Why is nigger offensive then?

Because idiots get offended over a word that was a basically factoid. I mean for fuck's sake, it was called Nigeria and negro is just black in latin ffs.

>>1014885

They could have just turned the Thrawn trilogy into movies, but I guess Jews can't help but want to roll in their own filth.

>>1014885

I mean, canonically, they were still alive for the entire NJO period, though by then they were definitely more mentor figures than actual players by this point. Which actually still fits their age. barring Fisher's unexpected passing.

Ackbar had a far more fitting end there too.

>>1014885

>couldn’t

Why not? They all fought the Vong. And you can even have Chewie die on that planet (for absolutely no reason, but the shabbos goyim will eat it up) when the Vong moon-drop it.

>>1014885

>there will never be a vong again

>chewie's character will never be anything more than a pet/mascot of a franchise who will never have a hero's death

>>1014890

Or they could have just let Lucas write it. He even gave them an outline

>>1014821

Pretty much all of the original characters were made into massive cunts. Luke, Leia, Han, R2D2. Disney made them all into fucking shitstain assholes.

>>1014896

But they didn't take it because they were pretentious assholes.

>>1014845

They've succeeded in wiping out absolutely everything "problematic" in Star Wars: even the old good guys (Alliance and Jedi) were bad because they were part of the old patriarchyworld order. That's what the whole point of the casino world and the double-crossing codebreaker was, everything old is bad. Kylo says it outright and Rei denies it but is a living example of it (no Jedi training needed, just FEELINGS).

At first I thought they were going to actually do a Grey Jedi thing, but I was wrong. Rei and Kylo will start an entirely new understanding of the Force: the Rainbow Jedi.

>>1014898

It's in the Tribe's blood to destroy things simply for the pleasure of destroying them. A Jew is a creature made of malice and base animal cunning.

>>1014901

There's no such thing as magic evil blood and its a cultural thing based on malicious greed. Not a genetic one, you retard.

Very impressive thread OP.

>>1014903

What good would that do, other than us being spared Yoda saying the word ‘page-turners.’ ✡Hamill✡, at least, is upset at the direction the new trilogy went…

>>1014902

The Thrawn trilogy doesn't necessarily require Luke, Han and Leia as the stars of the show. They could have just as easily created a new trio, while the OT characters act as mentors and leaders, but I guess showing the Empire in a compassionate light would be far too problematic.

>>1014904

>its a cultural thing based on malicious greed

Rabbi, you're not fooling anyone.

>>1014904

There are genetic predispositions towards certain types of behavior.

I aint watchin this shit, any quick spoils so I can piss off star wars cucks?

>>1014909

>while the OT characters act as mentors and leaders

But Mara…

>>1014914

There's dozens of threads on the catalog m8.

>>1014915

Mara Jade would be made a transsexual nigress anyway.

>>1014914

Here's the best one: you either have to nuke Boston or kill your own son.

Saw this with my ex and her black boyfriend whilst dressed up as BB-8.

I looked like a fat mouldy mango and I asked him if he was a Blerd. He started screaming about "fucking dem gay ass Crip niggas" and told me the proper title was Blood. Just assumed he was a big fan of the Blade films since he was wearing all red.

Ex described the film as an orgasmic experience and her bf was a real asshole, grunting through the whole film after about twenty minutes in. They were both really sweaty when the film finished but I didn't think it was that intense?

Anyway, he took my phone and my wallet so nobody else would steal it. Pretty nice guy, except for the grunting and him turning around from his special cuddle with my ex and screaming "DAS RACIS MUTHAFUCKA" everytime Chewie was on screen.

>>1014919

Fuck those were good times. Anyone have the webm of spoilers that were dropped on nexus and steam before Far Harbor's release?

>>1014912

>creepy pedo with a boy in a dress stares hungrily at a small white child as his wife glumly looks at her feet

<#woke this is beautiful omg so thiiiiiis <3<3

>>1014928

lel

>>1014883

No, I'm talking about the nu-shit.

The sperg from PoexFinn fags has been the only good thing about this shitty new movie.

>>1014938

>I haven't watched the movie where the character everyone keeps calling a nigger is featured

>why is everyone calling him a nigger?

You're a dumb one, aren't you?

Has there ever been any establishment as to what happened with the "New Republic" between Episode VI and VII?

>>1014946

Mystery box.

>>1014569

That podracing kid getting blown up was funny. It was like he was denied any active role for Poe to get more screen time.

This is where the leia flying scene appears guys, if you want to see the context of it.

>>1014945

I thought it was just because he looked like an unintelligent token from his debut and is apparently a shit incompetent character who swings a lightsaber once.

>>1014928

Oh, hey boogie. How's things?

>>1014954

>why does everyone keep calling him a nigger when he looks and acts like one?

I think I solved the mystery of why your mother cries whenever she sees you.

>>1014960

Didn't his wife leave him?

>>1014775

>paperclip

>>1014946

Much like any other Marxist construct it collapsed under its own weight.

>>1014965

Oh save us chad

>>1014954

He was a pretty unadmirable fellow. Lando was better anyway but he got shafted by Disney like a buttplug up a faggot's aids-ridden anus

>>1014962

I thought he would just be a sidekick and pushed to the side at worst.

>>1014978

It disgusts me that the paperclip rebels logo is now such a common avatar online.

We really should unfreeze Walt already, I don't think he'd approve of what his company is doing.

>>1014983

The movies honestly don't even feel like they have side kicks of MCs. The plot's all over the fucking place. Also girlyoda.

>>1014912

The kid looks like it wants to eat the baby and whore.

>Rey can communicate with Kylo for…some reason

>Rey is the most powerful force person EVAR with absolutely no training

>There's a breakout scene on a casino planet

>Rose gives a dialog about "Oh, I've had a hard life"

>Luke bad guy now!

This isn't Star Wars. It's nuKarate Kid mixed with Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief and Doctor Strange (2016). Sad thing is, all three of these films are okay. NuKK could have been better if it didn't aim to be a "big budget film" and an advertisement for China, there isn't much problem with PJ&TLT, and Strange could have been better paced and probably should have taken some cues from the 2007 animate film.

>>1014992

What even is this shitty plot? I can't bring myself to care about anything or wonder why something happens.

And what the fuck's the point of Kylo Ren if he doesn't actually fucking do anything as a villain and just kills his Han Solo?

>>1014928

Dad?

>>1014988

It's a safety pin.

>>1015001

What's this about Percy Jackson being a Gary Stu?

lol thats right. hard to keep track of the latest sjw fads sometimes

>>1015006

>>1015017

>>1014904

It's not magic, just evil.

And gas yourself Chaim.

>>1014568

I'll try spinning, that's a neat trick.

>>1014997

Tranny Kid looks like he gets raped by the old dude.

>inb4 rey will teach all the skills to new jedi, and even write books that were burned.

>>1014563

>>1014561

In these first couple scenes alone, it's painfully clear how little communication and planning there was between Part 7 and Part 8.. This shit actually makes TFA look like the better movie.

>luke is a cynical old dickbag even though he left a map to find him

>Kylo Ren is still a pissy teenager who can't control himself even though they spent an entire movie having him comes to grips with that shit

>Rey has no plan whatsoever and no one told her what she was supposed to do when she found Luke.. in fact, they sent no one else with her, even though she has no stakes in the conflict at all

Was there some kind of dickwaving contest in the writer's room to see who could spit the bigger loogie in JewJew Abrams's eye when they wrote this? Because you have to try pretty damned hard to make him look like the more competent writer/director

>>1014578

dis it bretty cringe dialogue.

>>1015001

>Doctor Strange (2016)

It was shit compared to the animated one.

>>1015002

He kills Snoke so I guess he's the new emperor.

>>1015066

I kinda feel bad for Rian Johnson, he had to deal with boring characters and plot-holes created by Abrams.

>>1015096

This. Abrams is the one responsible for the worst these movies have to offer.

Guys, I just saw the Last Jedi. I don't have any bias here, I didn't really enjoy the force awakens that much for what it added to Star Wars.

The Last Jedi is flawed, but a flawed masterpiece. Rian Johnson literally just took the series to a new level of filmmaking.

1) Wasn't annoyed by Rey

2) Impressed very much tonally and visually (first 10-15 min were hard to get into but once you did it really was nice)

3) Had the classic Star Wars campy self aware comedy

4) Yet injected this extra atmosphere and level of ambience and feeling that hasn't been seen since Episode III

It's unironically kino lads, I'm not even joking. Easily this is one of the best Star Wars films. I would put it in the top 3 with Revenge of the Sith and Empire Strikes Back. It's better than Episodes IV and VI.

Some things aren't executed well but Ill be fucking damned a lot of it was and i not only enjoyed myself but Rian Johnson just made a love letter to Star Wars and Luke Skywalker himself. He made a very calculated picture with a sense of mystery and faith that hasnt been seen since the prequels. George definitely liked it.

I give it a 8/10 easily. Unironically saved the series

>>1015096

>>1015099

I don't know, man.. Sure, Rey is an awful character, but all the same, they were set on a very clear arc.. and then this chucklefuck bumbles in and gives us sloth milk and snarky dialog that feels like it came out of a Joss Whedon script. They throw out everything from the previous movie and fuck up the whole babby's-first-mythology approach that works for Star Wars.

Why do people hate the sloths?

>>1014628

WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?!?

>>1014639

Is that Gareth Edward?

>>1015102

>1) Wasn't annoyed by Rey

The very fact you have to say that is evidence she's a shit character.

>2) Impressed very much tonally and visually (first 10-15 min were hard to get into but once you did it really was nice)

Nah it sucked. Prequels were nicer-looking.

>3) Had the classic Star Wars campy self aware comedy

Yes, Star Wars' comedic moments have always been the high points of the franchise. It was cringy and awkward.

>4) Yet injected this extra atmosphere and level of ambience and feeling that hasn't been seen since Episode III

It feels like a bland empty universe.

>>1015111

They were too humanoid for Luke to be sucking on dem sweet titties. It was just creepy.

>Take on the same release model of movies as Ubisoft had for their game-franchise, Assassin's Creed

>Suprised the movies becomes an ever increasing shitfest

I bet you within 2-3 years they will take a break year and then work really hard on one movie (only to have it fail miserably). Disney is crashing!

>>1014578

What wonderful chemistry between chink and nigger. Chink shocked nigger with space taser because he's a deserter but they geek out once they find out how to deal with the tracker and they make up. I can totally see why they would kiss later. A limp Finn throughout the movie might have been better.

Also, why aren't there any guards for unconscious Leia? Why is Poe able to hold her hand after getting chewed out by triggered-in-commander? Would be bad if a traitor was in their midst. At least reliable Finn is there to leave with Chink to deal with that tracker.

>>1014581

Here's another good chemistry scene where Rey is having a space COLLECT call with Kylo across space. Kylo is using the old model so he can't see her face while talking to her. I guess this must be the reason why they used the projection fight for later to make this scene work.

>>1014587

Okay. Not sure why Kylo has wet hands is significant. Could be because of sweat but I think they were going for that he felt the environment where Rey was because it was raining there. Don't think the force has the power to transport rain through force communication.

Now Chink and Nigger are at Space Luxury Casino to the stop the rich who profit by giving money to The First Order. It looks just like any luxury casino liner we have here so creativity seems to have already been spent. Don't worry, they try to hit those nostalgia beats with Caribbean version of the bar music from the original star wars in Empire 2.0. What I'm wording is who is paying the First Order then? I don't think trickle down economics can work since I'm not seeing how they are getting money in return to sustain themselves, unless this is the reason for the casino. Are they hoarding cash somewhere? I've seen nothing used with Porgs with any significance. They are just thee to sell merchandise as expected or to act as comic relief.

Some thing that came up with my friend was the vernacular of the original star wars was the use of these made up words. I bring this up because there are times where it uses modern lingo and it doesn't feel right. I'll going through it and it's tough to see how terrible it actually is. 2/3rds more to go.

>>1015128

>prequels were nicer looking

You're a brainlet I'm talking about the direction. Now we shouldn't compare because the prequels are completely different but what was attempted was the on the same level of the prequels. It honestly was great.

>>1014639

The ONLY good thing of the film.

>>1014596

>"it was worth it though, to tear up that town, make them hurt"

Literally Bix'd nood'd

>>1014651

>we need to save what's good

>making so the nig lives and the resistance get killed if not for the lateral exit

>we are the spark, the light the fire the will restore the Republic

Not being subtle at all there Disney. The First Order did nothing wrong eradicating these lightbringers.

>>1014647

THAT STUPID FUCKING BITCH!

Resistance members get stunned for trying to jump ship.

>Comrade, charge the enemy or face our bullets.

>>1014602

Dude, what?

I've been trying to give this movie a chance as I'm watching it now. And this is one of the biggest bullshit moves ever and feel like it's inconsistent with Luke Skywalker.

So, even when he was new to the Force and had to face his Father and the Emperor in RotJ.. He knew by killing his own father would bring him to the dark side even when he clearly knows his own Father has created massive genocide of millions of innocent lives lost by him.

But I guess it's completely cool that even when his own nephew who had "a little darkness" within him I guess it's time for him to kill him.

It would have been more interesting and more reasonable if there was at least some effort on Luke's part to bring him back to the light like he did with his father.. But nah, he just wanted to just wanted to kill Ben Solo because he was too powerful.

>>1015225

>it's inconsistent with Luke Skywalker.

(((He))) turned one of my childhood heroes into a cold-blooded murderer. JJ Abrams and Michael Bay will share a bunkbed in Hell.

>>1014561

>sitting at the very back of the cinema

I hope none of you do this besides piracy purposes

>>1014924

RIP Grand Admiral Thrawn

Starkino

Revenge of the Sith

Empire Strikes Back

The Last Jedi

Flicks

Attack of the Clones

The Phantom Menace

A New Hope

Return of the Jedi

Ass

Rogue One

The Force Awakens

>>1014976

As if he wasn't being cucked willingly and knowingly or not before then… don't be naive anon.

So, what's the next movie even going to be about? It looks like there's really no stakes left and the "good guys" pretty much already won.

>>1015349

Darth Drumf will build a space wall around Coruscant and Rey, Kylo and Boyega will use the power of diversity to destroy it.

Thanks mate!

>>1015349

> what's the next movie even going to be about?

The Auschwitz (((survivors))) are safely corralled aboard the Millennial's Falcon and ushered to the new Zion where the tribe establishes a new home for the resistance and a HQ for the galactic ZoG to operate from

>>1015349

>the good guys won

>the good guys get their asses handed to them and only escape alive because of luke

>kylo kills snoke and is the new emperor

>>1015384

The same Kylo who got his ass handed to him in the first movie no less. Do you know what "pretty much" even means?

>>1015039

Haha, yeah, it's all fun and games until the whole site get's shoah'd. Just wait.

>>1015323

No. I mean his wife is no longer taking care of him or living with him anymore last I heard. Supposedly he was struggling to survive or something. Any other info on this?

>>1015174

The red sand shit is pretty neat to look at. Everything else is just as bad, if not infinitely worse, than TFA. Hopefully Disney cannot salvage this shit.

>>1015431

>Supposedly he was struggling to survive or something

He's a crybaby who folds when things get tough. He thinks his mom mentally abused him and that's why he's a fat fuck. All she probably did was tell him to go for a fucking jog. He wanted to be a niceguy centrist during gamergate, even as he was being called a misogynist nazi. He shut down when Anita yelled at him backstage at that jewtube thing. It's hard to stick up for a guy who never sticks up for himself.

>>1014832

I had a friend saying she ain't a Mary Sue because she is daughter to no one and she don't trust her own power

this while beating luke that is basically the son of the force messahia

>woman puts people on vulnerable transports after waiting 12 hours doing nothing and telling them nothing and watches them get blown up

>but it's okay because deus ex saves them

>woman stops guy from blowing up gun with his ship and condemns the last of the resistance to being shot like fish in a barrel

>but it's okay because deus ex saves them

This is absolutely fucking awful writing. Holy shit.

>>1014633

>BB8 somehow gets Fin and Asian woman from a destroyed ATAT walker to a planet off a burning/exploding ship

I thought it was pretty clear when they started introducing villains of the week, but this movie is becoming more and more obviously made for a stupid foreign audience. Fuck star wars

>>1015440

This, so much this.

He's not a bad guy, I don't wish ill upon him. But he's a fucking spineless cunt so I don't have to respect him either. He's probably been cucked to bits now as well, he's weak. I'm growing to despise weakness in my old age.

>>1015440

The guy's probably 80% estrogen at this point so I can't really be surprised.

>>1014896

Do we see the outline or it's gone?

>>1015440

>>1015434

I'm not sticking up for him. I just wanna know if he's alive or not? How can someone with such a lifestyle still be alive without a cheating wife or any kind of help?

>>1015450 Soy is every junk food.

>>1015453

>I'm not sticking up for him. I just wanna know if he's alive or not?

I don't think he's shown signs of life since 1994.

>How can someone with such a lifestyle still be alive without a cheating wife or any kind of help?

Idiots giving him enough patreonbux to afford a regular nurse and a specially-trained "wiping" nurse.

>>1015452

It was never there to begin with. Disney rejected every suggestion or advice from Lucas.

>>1015453

He's allowed to live because morbidly obese people are more profitable to the pharmaceutical industrial complex.

>>1014663

>he didn't notice that his best friend was killed by his former apprentice?

He mentions in the movie that he had cut himself off from the force long ago. He embraced the force again when he was talking to Yoda and did his little hologram trick.

>>1015460

Thanks.

>>1015460

I like how he immediately completely backpedaled the next day, presumably after heavily armed Disney enforcers were sent to his home.

>>1014665

>Lucas made the same bottom bitch mistake with the prequels by not setting up a consistent story for three movies prior to filming everything.

the overall plot for the prequels was created back in 1978-9, when george started designing vader's background.

>>1014561

>6 hours ago

Good, I don't even want to watch this shit ironically.

>>1014872

>>1014885

Why not something like the Legacy era, where you have the Fel Empire, the One Sith, the Galactic Alliance and all that other cool shit? I bet you that would sell like fucking hotcakes man.

>>1014653

>2:53 Kylo Ren's saber pointed behind him

>3:00 Now he's holding in front of him

>3:04 swings it in front of him

>>1015096

Johnson's job was to downplay and/or retcon the shit made by Kennedy and Abrams. That's why there's a training sequence with Rey for example, but it has no impact on the story because it's happening way too late, that shit should've been in the first movie.

Why does every fucking scene need all these dramatic pauses? It's like the whole movie was made to be a potential trailer shot.

>>1014589

Only 2nd time this movie has made laugh but I don't think that was the intent. Seeing Finn and Chink shocked as they found their master decoder was priceless. Luke lies to Rey here about Kylo which is to reveal the stupidity to come later.

>>1014593

What a coincidence, after being sent to jail they find a new decoder that helps break them out even though BB8 was on his way to help. He was packed with casino coins and able to tie up all those guards. Was even able to hold down one guard with a barrage of coins as Funky Toney decoder knocked him out.

>>1014596

They were almost ousted by the kid, the one that got knocked down earlier, from hitting the alarm at the stable, but once they showed the turning decoder ring, they surely proved they were Rebel Alliance. No secret password required! Now it's time to rekt those rich bastards profiting by supporting the First Order with a stampede with their alien race horses.

>>1014598

Luke force check-ups on Leia. Not sure why he didn't do that for Han to know if he's dead or not because I feel they'll bring him back. Chink and Nigger saved by Trench Coat Mafia Funky Toney and BB8. Totally awesome new character and decoder acquired!! More force long-distance communication and Kylo is the one to initiate the conversation and he's shirtless. Okay…. Some added backstory to Kylo and he reveals why he's such an emo. His parent's abandoned him and to prove that was the reason, Luke was trying to kill him when he was asleep.

>>1014602

Time for tree scene for Rey as we fall into hole from earlier. Now we get a scene that is reminiscent of another movie that I forget the name of. Forgive my use of anime reference here, but Kado- The Right Answer had a similar scene where you met a stack of yourselves lined up and you see the beginning and future actions of what is happening throughout. It looks cool I guess.

Then we go even further from force long-distance communication to long distance touching as Kylo and Rey are getting to know each other. Then like a parent who caught their teen son or daughter having sex in their bedroom, Luke was having none of that and breaks the hand touching connection.

Then we come to the confrontation that'll break people. A fight between them because of a lie covering the truth would have been perfectly fine. What I didn't like is how Luke is made to fumble over to an untrained raging woman who demands answers. They fumbled with passing the torch in TFA but this one is the most insulting as a fan.

>>1014607

We've reached the halfway point and peak dumbness can't be contained here. Luke did try to kill young Kylo because he sense powerful ed- I mean darkness in him and he was already Snoke infiltrated. He hesitated because he Solo's "son" and he is his master but Kylo busts out because of the implications of the scene. Rey argues that he saw Ren's future by the force touch (new power-up?) and if they turn him, this war will be over. Luke argues back and Rey won't listen and takes off.

Then we get the Yoda scene. Luke was going to burn the old Jedi text but was hesitant again. Then we get an act of god by Yoda to call down thunder to destroy the tree and the text because everything written in it, Rey already knows. I feel that this is a literal representation that the old star was you love is over and you'll have to deal with nu-Star Wars from now on and they did it with one of your favorite characters to get that point across.

I think what they were getting at with this stupid scene is Nature vs. Nurture. Luke sees the nature of light and dark side but Rey goes nu-uh, people can be changed! Not that it matters since those 2 scenes were to show that everything was Luke's fault. Did his mere intention of pulling a lightsaber at young Kylo trigger him go to the dark side?

Also, where is Phasma? Was she still in the trash because I thought she was in the film. I don't think I remember her appearing previously before. Though, the big question now is, can force rape across galaxies be possible now. If you can feel touch, then couldn't Kylo literally power up to fuck Rey into submission leisurely air humping her in his room? Seeing all these together and not out of order makes it so tiring as it stacks stupid with even more stupid one after another. I'm not sure I can finish it guys.

>>1015001

It's a live adaptation of The Legend of Korra.

>>1015481

JUST

>>1014624

Things I learned from Star Wars over the decades: Don't gloat, don't make speeches, just fucking kill them while you've got them overpowered.

>Crimson Guard or whatever they're called attack after Snoot or whatever his fucking name is is killed

Why? What would be the point?

>>1015195

By saving Fin she killed Luke

>insulting the writing in a soap opera series

Rian's writing is fresh and works with his direction

>>1014624

Why the fuck doesn't Reyce Mixer have a Darth Maul styled staff-lightsaber? She's been fighting with a lance this entire time, so why suddenly switch to a sword?

>>1015441

> Doesn't trust her own power.

> Immediately self teaches herself force telekinesis

> Succeeds at jedi mind trick

LOL

>>1014628

>Takes her out with a cheap shot from behind.

Around blacks, never relax.

>>1015560

More to the point, how the fuck did kylo know this? Did Rey believe him? Why would she? It's glossed over so quickly to make room for the "Now join me and we will establish a new order" shit and is never brought up again.

>>1014587

So this is NuWars's version of the cantina scene. Even they music is similar.

>>1015593

i believe this time it's john williams' work and not that hamilton guy.

>>1014565

>Where are you from?

<Nowhere

>No one is from nowhere

<Jakku

>Ok that's pretty much nowhere.

That fucking Whedon-tier writing. I'm sick of that shit.

>>1014611

at least with this clip they're - probably unintentionally - dropping a redpill on double dealing kikes making money from both sides of the conflict

>>1014639

>Stemchink is also a pilot

Naturally. Still, I hate her less than Rey for some reason.

>>1015553

No one cared who he was, until he made those bombs. They are terrified of this guy, because he told the truth, he saw the truth, and it blackpilled him

>>1015593

It's the whole "muh ebil corporations selling weapons to fuel war".

It almost tries to be high brow for a moment and then we take a nose dive back into the science fantasy that is Star Wars. It's a mixed message

>>1015600

>>1015599

Nice dubs.

>Then why don't they just use it instead of getting closer?!

because then the rebels wouldn't have a reason to drive around their rustbuckets to kick up dust you silly goy. gotta sell those toys.

>>1015603

they try to do that narrative but then the basically ignore it for the rest of the movie. Why even put it in there? It amounts to nothing in the plot.

>>1014676

>Why is Rey able to project that charm bracelet through the Force? When did that training happen?

How did Luke Skywalker single-handedly blow up the Death Star when he had no force training?

>>1015622

>How did Luke Skywalker single-handedly blow up the Death Star when he had no force training?

anita is that you

>>1015622

>How did Luke Skywalker single-handedly blow up the Death Star when he had no force training?

It'll be just like Begger's Canyon back home… and I've hit Womp Rats, they're not much bigger than that. Kid knows his Xbox.

>>1014639

Now that's the John Williams I know and love. The music in Force Awakens was lackluster and boring, because they forced John to compose in only three months.

>>1014577

This.

>>1015648

>Why the hell can't you save an impressionable faggot who's only been at it for a few?

We'd just put him on anti-depressants and let this shit work itself out. If not, stick him in prison with some Boyegas.

>>1015695

The hero /tv/ needs, but not the hero it deserves.

>>1015710

I haven't watched any nuwars, is that supposed to be mon mothma?

>>1015719

It's admiral whogivesafuck, who takes over once Leia is hospitalized after her little superman trick.

>>1014657

3 days later, a stormtrooper saw the ring and cut his hand off.

>>1015710

Does she have a long neck or is it a visual trick?

>>1015774

Because going full Semitic on the most anticipated movie of the year would be waaaaaaaay to blantant.

>there is no good or bad

>there is no morality goy

>its all shades of gray

>>1015760

nope. resistance is using the old mon cal ships and that wedge is the only new thing, besides some half-assed attempt at a dreadnought.

>>1015779

I kind of assumed that the whole movie was building toward Rey and Kylo working together against the true evil, whatever that was.. since they kind of offed Snoke before we could learn anything about him or what his aim was. Instead, they work together, save each other, then immediately start arguing and decide they hate each other.

>>1015835

Pathetic, hows the dreadnought?

Could someone who watched it it link me to the Mp4 in which it appears?

All the images are blurry shit

>>1015846

>hows the dreadnought?

it fails in everything it attempts to do. it blows up the resistance base just after the last escape shuttle gets out of the blast zone, and its one attempt to fire on the lead resistance ship is blocked by a frigate. there's no webm as it's the very opening of the film, which these clips start just after.

>>1014561

alright, I'm watching. nice how evil guy points out that kylo is a new vader. nobody would have noticed that

>>1015774

I don't think it was any retarded "political" shit. Something like that must have been obvious was going to force them to end the story and any more shekels.

>>1015760

Barely new skins for the Resistance ships. Also, why is the First Ordah using ONLY TIE fighters? Couldn't they at least use the new ones that appeared in Rouge Uan for Close Air support, in the battle in salt planet? I have been seeing only fighters for everything, jesus. NOT EVEN A MERE TIE INTERCEPTOR IN SIGHT.

And speaking of the battle…the shitty speeders didn't nothing interesing or useful in the movie! Werent this the snow speeder version for the movie? Then they would have been used for something cool, and not just going forward and releasing red salt…Pure waste. The sky speeders were shit-looking, but at least they could have tried something to them.

>>1015881

>NOT EVEN A MERE TIE INTERCEPTOR IN SIGHT.

There's a holographic one on the weapon dealers ship for irony

>>1015887

That "irony" is why Jews get massacred with startling regularity.

>>1015884

Luke's not even dead, he was just hologramming himself to Atch-to all this time, he's actually back on Tattoine in his boxers, eating cheetohs, in what's left of Uncle Owen's basement.

>>1015884

yeah i noticed that as well.

>>1015881

> why is the First Ordah using ONLY TIE fighters?

i c o n i c tie fighters

>>1015900

checking myself, i just realized what a big fuck you it is to the film's whole "leave the past behind durr". if rey is to make a new jedi order, why would she take the books? for fuck's sake, with all this talk of "let the past die and move on to a new world" she still keeps the old one with her. i bet you rey goes to ahch-to and finds luke's green saber.

>>1015925

>i bet you rey goes to ahch-to and finds luke's green saber

but she'll replace it with a pink crystal for breast-cancer awareness

>>1014578

I wonder, did they use Carrie Fishers corpse for that shot?

>>1015602

You can thank capeshit for normalizing quirky modern tier dialogue.

>>1015906

Shit I'm surprised the resistance isn't using all millenium falcons

>>1015602

>>Where are you from?

><Nowhere

>>No one is from nowhere

><Jakku

>>Ok that's pretty much nowhere.

>>1015947

>You can thank capeshit for normalizing quirky modern tier dialogue.

How it should have gone:

>So where you from kid?

<No where

>Hey, I know that place, my Uncle Owen always reminded me that's where I was going

<Jakku

>Hey, you wouldn't happen to have a Mark IV-3B power converter would you? I've been trying to collect the whole set…

>>1015960

i would actually be okay with the resistance using a fleet of yt-1300s.

A resistance of only 400 members is barely enough to make the evening news, Disney doesn't really seem to comprehend scale at all. This all seems like a local law enforcement issue than a military engagement issue, they should have dispatched a Lieutenant with a couple of squads and Ren and Hux be laid back by the Casino pool.

>>1015963

>Where are you from?

<My parents left me on Jakku

>Jakku? There's nothing on Jakku!

<..I know…

>>1014587

>only one business gets you that rich

<war

are they calling out the jew?

Just watched two parts and im already bored.

>>1014561

Thank you OP, truly gods work.

It gives a sense of satisfaction knowing Disney is not going to be getting any money from me now, and that judging by the clusterfuck this movie is, they will not be getting much from whatever merchandise they release either.

This was a soul-less, pointless movie. It answered nothing and set nothing up. Where does the next movie go from here? There was no set up for the third (+however many more they have planned) movie, they aren't going to be rescuing Han from carbonite, there is not a big set piece battle foreshadowing.

What the fuck was the point? Short term shekel acquisition and "We'll sort the story out later just don't think that far ahead"?

This movie was fucking bad. Star Wars or not, it was fucking bad.

>>1014583

<<MURDEROUS SNAKE, YOU'RE TOO LATE, YOU LOST, I FOUND SKYWALKER.

This has to be the NT's "I don't like sand" moment.

>>1015980

>A resistance of only 400 members is barely enough to make the evening news

Yeah, and this is in a intergalatic affair too, NO ONE should care about 400 asshats on three ships. One anon mentioned earlier how it's strange that no one is taking to take advantage of how both the Resistance and First Order have ground each other in to basically nothing but a pair of autists with lightsabers and their brain dead allies screeching at each other about light and darkness- kinda makes me think it's because no one actually cares about what's going on here in universe, every one else in the galaxy has moved on and at most just point and laugh at all those silly rebel and empire remnants are still fighting a war they BOTH lost

So is somebody going to stream this with a chatbox or what? That is the only way this will be worth watching. Or will you get fined by Disney or something if you do that?

>>1015895

>Luke's not even dead

Look again. Back on Shitworld, Luke's clothes collapse like Ben's did back in Star Wars.

That's right. I called it Star Wars.

>>1014587

<I wish I could put my fist through this whole lousy, [???] town.

Oh, come on. You're just porn begging at this point.

>>1014611

Funky Toney needs a price to get shit done and it's the Chink's necklace which belonged to her sister I think. I guess they mentioned it during the casino thing but I really don't care since I'm wondering why Chink has such a big role. She hasn't really done much so far. I guess this was suppose to be a revelation but the army is mostly controlled by machines.

>>1014614

First Order still hammering escaping rebels. Poe argues with triggered-admiral about abandoning the main ship seeing that they are going about fueling transporters which would make them sitting ducks to enemy attack and this being a bad idea. Triggered-admiral is having none of that and gets him taken away for insubordination.

Rey delivers herself to Kylo and was only missing the bow and ribbon as she lets herself get cuffed. Poe apparently just leaves his room no problem after his insubordination and holds triggered-admiral at gun point with some buddies to take the ship back to stay the course with this First Order fight. Finn, Chink and Funky Toney sneak on the enemy ship in disguise. Feeling that sense of deja vu again. Especially that jamming scene which could have easily been replaced with the Space Balls parody of it.

>>1014615

The First Order has their own chromed out BB8. Going to sell those at Toys'r'us if it is still around? Rey and Kylo's talk about that future touch and changing on elevator as we finally get to see a less shitty Snoke in goldmember attire. The necklace comes into play as codebreaker uses it as a conductor for the wiring he is doing. Funky Toney gives the necklace back to Chink and all is forgiven.. I guess.

Triggered-admiral kicks open a conveniently placed steam pipe to blind the traitors and take control of her ship back. C3P0 tries to leaves Poe as well as his cameo behind. Too bad for Finn, Chink and Funky Toney as they were caught before they could help Poe out.

>>1014616

Phasma actually shows up finally. After breaking down the door that Poe was holed in, in comes a conscious Leia to blast Poe down. 3rd time I laughed and they've all been the new characters getting hurt brutally. It's like she was trying to blast Poe out of this franchise because he doesn't belong there.

It's finally revealed that triggered-admiral did good and she is going to sacrifice herself to save them when the rest of the crew escape and Leia knew about this prior? Snoke reveals that he was the one who created the "bridge" for Rey and Kylo to force talk and touch scene from before and she fell for it. Rey really shows off her chompers from the air rape she was getting. She could eat Snoke with them teeth if she tried.

>>1014620

They reveal the plan that they're going to a heavily armored rebel base to Poe and triggered-admiral's "noble sacrifice". In a twist, it turns out that Funky Toney was Lando Calrissian all along as he sells his buddies that he only met for a few hours to the First Order because of that money. I thought there was a secret signal between Chink and him but it seems like it was just part of his character trait. He can always turn back in the next film. Rey tries to get a lightsaber but Snoke just turns it around and smacks it at the back of her head. Best part of this movie so far. Too bad he made a careless setup that I can't believe he didn't see coming. She continues to struggle as she is now using Kylo's lightsaber to fight this time.

>>1014624

After force holding this bitch awkwardly for the 3rd time I think, he finally offers her up to be killed by his apprentice. Snoke initiates monologuing and you know what happens. Of course, Kylo would kill Snoke with the lightsaber handle next to him with his force power if it was conveniently placed next to him after being used to smack Rey upside the head.

Snoke we hardly knew yee. No really, we hardly know anything about this guy and then he gets killed off so I'm not sure what I'm suppose to feel here. I expected it but there was not much value to his death at this point. Now it's the Kylo and Ren duo fight against the red troopers on red walls I guess for style purposes. It's not like they blend into the red wall so it doesn't act as a cloaking device. Okay combat but I think there focus was to show off the new energy weapon toy designs they'll be selling later. I guess they wanted to avoid the high choreography fights of the prequels.

>>1015960

>Shit I'm surprised the resistance isn't using all millenium falcons

The Falcon was a heavily modified freighter. It's like a UPS truck with nitro boosters hidden in a special secret compartment. They'd need to retrofit the fuck out of a fleet of them. And they show in Empire just how temperamental the Falcon can be, with the worst possible timing.

>>1016050

>and was only missing the bow and ribbon A-cup gold bikini as she lets herself get cuffed.

FTFY

>>1016008

> they will not be getting much from whatever merchandise they release either.

Never underestimate the "But HE'S got one!" effect on children, or the pleb taste of normals.

>>1016045

>That's right. I called it Star Wars.

nobody cares, dad.

>>1016069

I told you no computer until your homework was done, son.

>>1016045

>Look again. Back on Shitworld, Luke's clothes collapse like Ben's did back in Star Wars.

No. No! That's not true! That's impossible!

Look, he probably just found a way to transfer his soul into a porg or something.

This is the best thread on here right now. It even allowed /tv/ to surpass /leftypol/ thanks you glorious faggots

>>1014561

>vertical

learn how to use a camera OP

>>1016089

We're reaching GRUM levels of shit writing.

lol emailed Disney about hatechan being used to pirate Disney. Enjoy this shithole being sued off the internet and Jim being fed to his own pigs.

t. Gamerghazi

>We can't catch up to the rebel fleet because they faster than us

>But after 12 hours of pursuit, the rebel fleet is still within firing range and the gap hasn't seemingly widened at all

>First Order doesn't warp a few ships ahead of the rebel fleet to cut them off or call for any other ships or anything at all

Fucking retarded.

>>1016155

> implying OP is not a Disney shill running controlled opposition

>>1014657

What blasphemy was this at the end!?

A YOUNG WHITE MALE!!???

>>1016163

>A YOUNG WHITE MALE!!???

Rey is destined to groom him for shottacon and go full Padme on her Anakin

I just realized that this feels like watching harry potter in space, if you get what I mean. A product with the same variables, only re-themed.

>>1016137

i actually found the scene of chewie about to eat a fried porg somewhat funny. him throwing it away was definitely some kind of virtue signal to soyboys and vegans though.

>>1016169

op dindu nuffin

>>1016159

It's worse than that.. They went at it for days of pursuit. They had that one successful fly-by that took out 99% of the rebel leadership who happened to be in the conveniently located SHOOT ME deck, and the proceeded to accomplish very little. Rey had to meet Luke, follow him around for a couple days, sleep and have a few dream meet ups with Kylo, then do some training for a day or so, fall into the dark side butthole, do more chatting with Kylo, then eventually leave and fly all the way back to where the Rebels were.

I don't know if it qualifies as a plot hole, but it's a pretty huge oversight that the entire movie takes places around the pursuit of the Rebel fleet.. which kicks off with them getting their shit exploded, and then immediately drops down to a low energy stalemate.

>>1016174

>it's a pretty huge oversight that the entire movie takes places around the pursuit of the Rebel fleet

at least in the EU, the Empire has special ships that project artificial gravity wells that force ships passing nearby in lightspeed to drop out

Wait

I thought they were going to set it up that Benjamin El Toro was the real codebreaker after all, and he just lost his jewel thingy in a bet or something, but then nothing happened. Did they just randomly run into some other expert cryptographer by pure luck or did I miss the hint that it was really him?

>>1016181

The reason they don't just jump to lightspeed and get the fuck out of there is because they can be tracked through lightspeed.. somehow.. Never really explained why or when the First Order developed that technology in between having their entire planet-sized base blown up.. and also because their ship only has enough fuel for one more jump.. which would leave them stranded when the bad guys track them again.

>>1016174

>They went at it for days of pursuit

no, they went at it for about 12-16 hours. 3/4 of a day at the most. everything you see is all happening simultaneously until everyone meets back at the ship. ahch-to and canto bight have different rotation speeds, hence rey spending like a week there and finn and chink spending the night in soy vegas.

>>1016188 (heil'd)

kek

The mouse is going to fucking wreck your life OP. Jim works for the spooks in the government and will turn your info over in a heart beat. Disney will throw as much money as they can at you to find you and destroy your life. The only way they are going to get out of the PR nightmare this film became is by shifting blame to you and your campaign of threats and harrassment. They are going to fuck your life up and it doesn't matter where in the world you are they will find you and destroy you to save face infront of their investors.

Get meme'd on, kiddo.

>>1016202

What if OP is from Israel?

>>1014714

Judging by the watcher scores on RT, the normalfags aren't having this either.

>>1016205

Kikes that kike higher level kikes get treated like goyim trash too.

>>1016196

Nope. They literally just happened to meet some random fuck who waited in jail for no reason even though he could just walk out whenever he wanted. I figured he might have been planted there by the First Order, but nope.. He just happened to be there and cut a deal with them for his freedom when he got captured.

>>1016199

At least 2 days passed on Luke's little island planet, maybe more, which happened in tandem with what was going on with the pursuit, because Kylo Ren kept having little force phone calls with her.

>>1016207

the only people singing praise for it are people who have never seen a SW film before, or only started with the disney shit.

>>1016209

>At least 2 days passed on Luke's little island planet, maybe more, which happened in tandem with what was going on with the pursuit, because Kylo Ren kept having little force phone calls with her.

yes i know, hence why i mentioned ahch-to clearly having a faster rotation.

>>1015774

>Luke going off about how the old Jedi were corrupt, putting them in a not so bright light.

What the fuck does he say about the jedi? Lucas would have never agreed on this

>>1016219

People brag about the weirdest shit these days.

>>1014561

i cant watch this in 4 min parts. anyone got the full thing? or can combine them and put them in a mega file or something?