No.4507 [View All]
Does porg abuse exist yet? I can’t help but feel like tearing these shits apart.
27 posts and 13 image replies omitted. Click [Open thread] to view. ____________________________
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No.5189
Don't believe their lies.
It had nothing to do with puffins, this is just deflection by suggesting a philanthropic endeavor.
They were and continue to be nothing but a cheap marketing tool.
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No.9984
>Everyone hates our porgs and the porg merch isn't selling! What do we do?!
>Quick! Let's make them gay! Then no one can say bad shit about them!
>Brilliant Miss Kennedy!
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No.9988
>>4614
Are you saying the porgs are tribbles?
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No.9995
>>9984
>>wild animals being gay
I know the Left likes to trod out the Bonobo in times like these but what they all forget is that first Bonobo's are a matriarchal society and second that the gay sex Bonobos do is not out of "love" but as a means of sexually abusing the younger generation into keeping to the matriarchy. Those who don't get their dick cut off and never have I heard of a raped female Bonobo going against the rapist Queen of them.
I guess Porg's would have to do the same.
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No.9996
>>9995
*bite
Was thinking of another species.
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No.10047
>>9996
Like Dolphins? Some of those are gay.
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No.10049
>>10047
Yes exactly. Its difficult to find non-biased research because of all the signalling but sometimes you get a signalling of signalling crossing out most of the original signalling. Like in the article where Dolphins are rapists and that's bad but Dolphin's being gay is ok.
http://archive.is/vO1lL
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No.10056
>>10049
>>pic related
Wow. That takes the whole I fuck men like they are women to a whole new level of poz.
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No.10057
>>10056
Why are dolphins such fucking rapists?
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No.10060
>>4614
>porgs are bassically yukkuri
except porgs are official, not fan-made
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No.10073
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No.10076
>>4521
Practical effects would defeat the point as before marketing got to them, they were originally made just so they'd have something to cg over actual wildlife in the island scenes.
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No.10125
>>4528
this picture is actually a pretty good overall comparison of Soy Wars to the EU.
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No.10301
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No.10303
>>10301
Now TLJ all makes sense now.
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No.10307
>>10301
Last pane should be Chewbacca with a roasted porg.
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No.10309
>>10301
That actually looks like it would make a more interesting plot.
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No.10318
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No.10439
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No.10440
>>10301
A better ending overall. Also this reminds me of the fake spoilers claiming one of the Porgs was Han reincarnated or that they were actually the purest incarnation of the Force.
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No.10442
>>10440
>Also this reminds me of the fake spoilers claiming one of the Porgs was Han reincarnated or that they were actually the purest incarnation of the Force.
I will say one thing about Disney Wars. The mouse's inane stories will never manage to be quite as stupid as the "fan theories" of those who are deranged enough to enjoy the nu franchise.
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No.10453
>>10440
> purest incarnation of the Force
I wouldn't say that, but they are supposedly extremely Force-sensitive, which would explain >>4920 quite well. The crystals that make a lightsaber work are irregular and the required alignment is impossible to calculate. Successfully aligning a lightsaber is taken as proof that an individual is Force-sensitive. That a lightsaber would therefore have a strange "Force signature" is reasonable, and would make a lightsaber very interesting to a Force-critter like a porg.
If we still take the TPM explanation of Force-sensitivity, we also have an explanation for >>4619 first pic: Sith will do anything to become stronger in the Force. Eating a porg would increase your midicholorian count, thus I'm surprised that no Sith ever hunted them to extinction and ate them all.
This also makes Disney's script writers even more pathetic. If Chewbacca had eaten that porg, he'd be Force-sensitive after TLJ. They threw away an opportunity to make Chewbacca Force-sensitive for a cheap "feels" gag with the other porg looking sad. Yes, I know Chewbacca isn't supposed to be Force-sensitive. Disney threw the rest of the canon out the window, so why not that too? You're burning the lore, why not burn it all?
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No.10454
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No.19558
Hello there, have I posted these yet? I made the blood edit. For some reason I can't upload them, so these are screenshots.
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No.19559
>>19558
I think I've seen these before, although I can't remember if it was on here or somewhere else.
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No.19563
if anything ever needed to be barbequed, it's Porgs. they exist only to sell merchandise and pander to morons. they are also complicit in the ruination of Star Wars by TLJ.
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No.19565
Just a reminder that we have a dead yukkuri board, if you want to read a bunch of abyuse comics and pretend they're porgs.
>>>/easy/
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No.19567
>>19565
Thanks. Didn't the horsefuckers have their own sort of yukkuri? Quite a bit of their culture is /jp/sy.
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No.19574
>>19563
Their design is also ghastly and stupid. Only reason they even exist (other than being cheap toy gimmicks) is because they wanted to censor out all the puffins in the area, which is stupid since SW has real world animals.
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No.19591
>>19574
>actually believing the Mouse's lies
A shekel for a good goy, ha ha!
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No.19597
>>19574
>which is stupid since SW has real world animals.
Does it? It's always been womp rats, bat-falcons, Acklay, vrelts, and other fantastic creatures. I don't recall normal creatures making it in anywhere.
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No.19611
>>19597
Dagobah is full of them. Snakes, lizards, birds. Endor has a shit ton of IRL animals. Naboo has ducks/geese.
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No.19627
>>19574
>censor the puffins
not only is that dumb, it doesn't explain why Porgs got so much screentime. they also could've made them something other than a transparent merchandising pitch. there's no reason for those big, googly eyes except for kawaiiness, it's not like they live underground.
Porg genocide when?
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No.19655
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No.19672
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No.19720
>>19627
They just didnt have the cgi budget/crew available to herd them.
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No.19757
>>10301
I can't tell if this is meant to be funny or if it's fetish shit.
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No.19758
>>19757
Fetish shit, it's always fetish shit.
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No.19760
>>19757
>>19758
Its a fetishized metaphor.
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No.19765
>>19757
Considering the tear at the end, likely a "so random ecks dee" joke, but I'd like to see the artist's other work. Saucenao brings up nada.
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No.19856
>>19757
Are Porg cannibals?
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No.19910
>>19757
It follows a lot of tropes common to TF fetish art, so I would assume it's fetish shit.
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No.20118
>>19757
It's certainly a better ending than Darth Mickey could write. The idea that porgs are somehow those who came to Ahch-to for selfish reasons. I like.
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No.20137
>>20118
it's actually a cool idea, reminiscent of mythology. therefore Disney would never come up with it.
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No.20141
>>19765
It's fetish art, I'm pretty sure. I recognize the artist. It's possible that one was commissioned as a joke, though, since the artist has done a Star Wars-themed transformation before.
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No.20153
>>4507
God that thing looks fucking annoying.
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No.20155
>>20141
you cucks are disgusting
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No.20167
>>20137
That would also explain why no Sith ever hunted the porgs to extinction and ate them all. Every Sith that came to Ahch-to became a porg at some point, because no Sith actually sees the Sith order as higher than themselves.
> Better to become a porg for thousand rebirths than fall to the Dark Side it is, mmmhmmm.
…and I just tried reading that name aloud… "ahch-to" … "octo" … "eight" … TLJ is episode VIII. Darth Mickey couldn't even come up with a good name for a Jedi sanctuary world…
ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING
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No.20171
>>19567
Yeah, fluffy pony. It's considerably dumber, like all horsefucker things are. Always take it easy and stick with the original.
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No.20172
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