A modern day translation of a bible verse:

God: Yo abe kill your son Isaac and proove your loyalty to me

Abe: Hmm, I guess that makes sense

//Abe prepares his son for sacrifice and gets interrupted

God: Dude I wasn't really expecting you to go that far holy f--- mate

but your loyalty is worth noting. FFS just slaughter some goats in my name rather than my children.

Abe: Yeah dude, you're the one that told me to… but I'll continue to do as you command.

The Jews: Yo God we do what we want nigga. We're going to worship the Goat and sacrifice and eat your children instead.

God: Dude why you gotta throw the game, we're actually moving into a better world.

The Jews: Fuck you nigger.

God: You false Jews who worship the synagogue of Satan, my children will overcome your foolishness, mark my words. Faggot.

Anyone wanna help me 'bro' translate the rest?