Dear Mr. Avenatti,
I heard that you are that Creepy Porn Lawyer star from CNN. That's so exciting! We are currently looking for next generation fluffers for our next movie, and you've been specifically highlighted as someone who could be our star performer! (there are some union dues though). Please feel free to reach around to us!
Also, just so that you understand - real people are waking up now, and daddy isn't happy. Not at all.
Get yours.
Peace and love and rainbows.