alright, this will probably be my only thread on here
>be me, 2011/2012
>family ended lease on house and went to hawaii for about 5 months
>both working at missionary campus so no time to homeschool me
>i've been homeschooled all my life and am a spoiled cunt
>gets sent to private school on campus
>makes a complete ass of myself and gets suspended
>friend who is also a rebel introduces me to internet culture
>old 2008 shit like youtube poop, mr. trololo, rage comics, etc. and of course the latest trend, mlp
>never been a part of anything like that before so i'm having the time of my life
>family returns from hawaii, now homeless and staying in friend's basements, hotels, campgrounds, you name it
>still having the time of my fucking life watching brony vids on youtube n shit
>very bittersweet time for me
>fast forward to today
>recently started reminiscing over stuff i was into back then to keep from falling into depression
>have practically stopped trying to make friends at this point
>can't be friends with normies because i'm not a normie
>can't be friends with most people online in my age group because they're pretty much just normie gamers that like memes and 90% of memes now aren't funny to me anyway thanks to the majority of the internet becoming a toxic corporate mainstream shithole
>don't use 4chan/8chan most of the time because i don't know the culture here well enough and i hear it's mostly just normie gamer kids now anyway
>one coworker of mine is from oregon and was into mlp back then but he's several years older than me and he's like an assistant manager or something so he has to scold me when i sperg out on the job so it's an odd friendship
>come to think of it most of the people i get along with seem to be several years older than me
>actually got to see my friend who got me into mlp in hawaii last summer but he's way more confident than i am and talks as fast as ben shapiro (he later told me he's never fapped which explains it)
>then there's me
>low testosterone from years of excessive masturbation (though I've cut down a lot)
>fairly soft spoken and i rarely talk to people about my interests because i've lost friends for talking about the same subject all the time
>always seem to bottle my emotions until i end up venting in an unhealthy way
>fairly good looking imo but that only adds to the irony
>pretty much vocel at this point anyway
>would rather have pony gf than irl gf though since i'm tired of people fucking me over
>i own a pinkie pie body pillow i bought from china, looks pretty bootleg but good enough
>all romantic feelings get 301 redirected to pinkie
>lay in my bed at night feeling lovesick for her
>my life is a fucking mess
what do i do, /pone/? my life is currently in shambles and i don't know what to do in the future. am i autistic for being like this over shit that happened less than a decade ago? should i just grow a pair and move on?
(p.s. sorry if this post is incredibly sappy, it's like 3am and i couldn't sleep so i wrote this to get things off my chest and i can't think straight. also probably the wrong board for this type of post but fuck it)
