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bc3901 (3)  No.320888>>320889 >>320905 >>320998 [Watch Thread][Show All Posts]

>"I w-won't sleep until you do, sir."

>The pony's tired eyes blinked at you, two huge green rings shimmering in your peripheral vision under the illumination of your reading light.

>Well, it's just a little lamp over your bed you call a reading light.

>You actually have no idea what it's for.

>Are ponies afraid of the dark?

>You glance at the guard standing near the door.

>Something tells you that they are.

>Hm.

>"Sir?"

>This is the fifth damn time she's reminded you of her situation.

>Mixed thoughts flow into your head.

>You are annoyed.

>But you don't want to upset this horse.

"Yes, I know, I know."

>Your stare moves back to the book, followed by a sigh from the opposite end of the room.

>Line after line, paragraph after paragraph…

>The sense of time slowly waddles away.

>This is quite interesting, actually.

>You'd never think that ponies would be such great writers.

>The alliterations and rhythms captivate your mind one after another, punching their way through the concrete barricade that is your disbelief in magical talking equines.

>Yet, here you are, lying in the softest bed you've ever touched, reading a great book, and listening to a whiny guard horse.

>Whiny horse…

>Hm.

>"Neigh! Whinny!"

>You imagine her speech sounding like a horse from Earth.

>You chuckle to yourself, softly at first, and soon laugh out loud in your normal voice.

>That, when opposed to the silence of the night, roared across the hallways and throughout the room, spooking every guard in a mile-long radius.

>Including your little guardspony.

>She flew up the wall, her light helmet and armour got sent flying up to the ceiling, and landing on her head at the same moment as her rump hit the wooden floor of the room with a loud thump.

>It's like you're in a damn cartoon.

>A really depressing one, at that.

>You'd watch it, though.

"Do you guys really not trust me that much?"

>The equine gets back up onto all fours and pats her armour off.

>She looks around, as if there's somebody else in the room apart from you two.

>"We do, but, well…"

>She sighs.

>"Royal orders. They just can't let their guard down that easily."

"It's alright. I get it."

>You jump out of the bed, startling her yet again, and loom over her tiny frame pressed into the door out of sheer fear.

>And here you'd thought that only the bravest were allowed to be in the Royal Guard.

"Since I can't sleep right now, let's just go on a little walk, hm?"

>You kinda fucked your sleep schedule way back on Earth.

>"Ah-alright."

____________________________
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bc3901 (3)  No.320889>>320890 >>320905

>>320888 (OP)

>…

>Dark staircase upon dark staircase, dimly lit hallway upon more dimly lit hallways…

>This place really does feel like a maze.

>Your slow casual walk is kinda becoming a slow casual journey to another country, it seems.

>All to the backdrop of the guardspony's little hooves clopping along the huge marble tiles of the castle alongside you.

"So…"

>You get her attention.

"Do you know where the library is in this place?"

>She looks around, her eyes half-closed from exhaustion.

>"Just 'round that corner, sir."

>You turn the corner.

>Another dark, narrow hallway, leading up to a blinding light.

>You enter the library.

>Hundreds of magical torches lining the walls turned bookshelves, containing thousands of books of all shapes and sizes, all crammed in with each other and sorted by rarity.

>Is this heaven?

>You walk up to the railing, to see even more books on the first floor beneath you.

>Slowly strolling around the top floor's railing, you feel like a kid again, giddy with excitement.

>Speaking of, you've been wondering about something…

"How'd you become a guard, anyway?"

>"Eh?"

>The pony wakes up.

>Seems like the slow rhythm of your steps, the warmth of the torches along the walls and the dim lighting really did put her to sleep.

>She hums, and not before long whispers you a reply.

>Even if there's nobody in here, it's still a library.

>"It's a long and dumb story… I'm sure you'll get bored."

"I've just read a book by Twilight Sparkle."

>You hear a faint giggle.

>"Alright."

>be Sun Glare

>You never knew what you actually wanted to do in life.

>Your cutie mark guidance was as weak and vague as ever, and your school life didn't yield many answers either.

>After graduating, all you've done was laze around in your room and read.

>What else is there to do for a mare in Canterlot with no expectations, needs, or friends?

>Nothing, that's what.

>The book's damn boring, too.

>You really miss the time you got sent off to that village near Canterlot for a week.

>Everypony seemed so happy…

>They really had no worries.

>No reputation to uphold.

>Be yourself, and don't disappoint your parents.

>You've had thoughts about moving out there.

>But…

>Would you really be happy with that?

>Would you actually like it?

>Would you get up from your fat (in an attractive way, of course) flank and try improving yourself?

>Does changing the location and ponies around you change you as a person?

>Would it change your attitude?

>Would the ponies over there actually put up with you?

>Are you worth putting up with?

>"Probably not," is the answer to all of those questions.

>"That's also why you're still a virgin, Glare," your ego adds.

>"Hiya!", adds your sister, waltzing into your room like she owns it.

>Wait, what?

"What are you doing here?"

>Cloudy Skies grins at you.

>With her all-too-perfect grin.

>And her cute face.

>And those half-lidded, big, deep, blue eyes…

>"I can't check up on my little sis now?"

>She seductively walks over and lies down in front of you.

>Ugh.

>Her pretty face fills all of your field of view.

>Her pretty, smug face.

>Disgusting.

>You try looking like you enjoy being around her, though.

"What's up?"

>"That's exactly what I was just about to ask you, Glare!"

>You cock an eyebrow at her.

"You know perfectly well what I'm up to."

>The smirk that just a second ago was piercing right through your chest like a sharp dagger disappears in a flash.

>Without it, Skies is just staring at you.

>Really hard.

>"Still doing nothing."

"Did you come home just to laugh at me or what? Go back to the barracks or something."

>"The fact that I'm in the Royal Guard doesn't make me tied to the Castle for my entire life, you know."

"Then why are you here?"

>"Meet my family. What kind of a question is that? Didn't you miss me?"

>You put your hoof to your chin, as if you're thinking it over.

>Of course, both of you know what you're gonna say.

"No."

>Cloudy Skies makes a dramatic pose and rolls off her pillow flat onto the floor.

>"I can't believe you'd say that."

"You were never a good actor. Is that all? I'd like to get back to reading."

>"No you wouldn't."

>Eh?

>"The book's upside down."

>You look down at whatever you were just reading.

>Huh.

>No wonder you didn't understand a word of it.

>"Aren't you tired of this?"

>You sigh.

"Well."

>You glance back at your sister.

>She has a sincere expression on her cute mug, for once.

>Or she's just gotten better at acting.

"Do you have any ideas?"

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bc3901 (3)  No.320890>>320905

>>320889

>…

>"And that's how I ended up joining the Royal Guard."

"Even though you never wanted to."

>She sighs and puts her head on the huge table the two of you were sitting near during the storytime bit.

>"I still don't. I hate getting up so early, I hate this armour, I hate the drills, but…"

"But?…"

>"It's something to do, right? Even if I hate it, I really have no clue of what I should be doing with my life. Do you humans have this kinda thing?"

"More than I'd like to admit."

>"Then you understand me. I'm not sure how it's supposed to help, but I've heard from somewhere that understanding the problem is the first step to solving it, or whatever."

>She closes her eyes, probably in deep thought.

"If only I knew how to help you…"

>The light of the magical torches around you, the smell of old parchment and dry paper…

>She must be really hot in that.

>You slide over closer to her, as quietly as possible.

>Your fingers grip the shiny, polished surface of the helmet and pull it off.

>You expose a short, light brown mane, flocking from her forehead down to the corner of her huge eyes.

>Cute.

>You were ready for her to get loud.

>Maybe get smacked by a hoof.

>All you get is her quiet breathing and cute noises coming from the pony.

>She fell asleep.

>You chuckle.

>Quietly, this time.

>Set the helmet onto the table.

>Well, time for you to sleep too.

>You'll help her tomorrow.

>You were completely useless back home, but…

>This place is giving you a chance to actually make someone's life better before you become too old for that.

>You cross your arms on the table before you, locking the book you were so interested in tonight.

"The Magic of Friendship, by Twilight Sparkle."

>Heh.

>You eyes finally close by themselves, tired and ready for whatever happens the next morning.

"Good night."

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f73529 (2)  No.320891>>320892 >>320907

Did the Royal Guardsmare general on /mulp/ implode or something? Didn't know we even had crossboarders anymore.

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5d1d6b (1)  No.320892>>320893 >>320896 >>320907

File (hide): eb8b508fd0f8e95⋯.png (271.59 KB, 720x720, 1:1, no.png) (h) (u)

>>320891

Stop yelling crossposter at everyone. The board's dead, not even halfchanners care about it anymore. I'm just contributing with some content for once. Nigger.

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e438d4 (2)  No.320893>>320894

>>320892

I think he just want Original Content™ that's not the #23124 iterations of a theme or current hot topic in the fandom.

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08b9bc (2)  No.320894>>320895

>>320893

Well, once I get a truly Original™ idea, I'll post that too. Not all content is supposed to be amazing and original.

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e438d4 (2)  No.320895

>>320894

I'm just saying. I appreciate the efforts for greens.

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f73529 (2)  No.320896>>320897

>>320892

>Stop yelling crossposter at everyone.

My first time actually. The key thing is that content creation requires inspiration, which doesn't exist in the barren wasteland of /pone/. The 3 remaining users here stay here out of autism, not for any content.

If you want to talk about content for a change, then let's talk about the story.

>two huge green rings shimmering in your peripheral vision under the illumination of your reading light.

I write like this as well. There's the sense of offness from the clunky word choice that I always lack the words to describe.

>Well, it's just

Bad link between the two sentences. You're not speaking to anyone, there is no 'Well'. People do speak to themselves that way, but it jars immersion in a story.

You've probably figured that I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. Feel free to ignore the rest of this post; it'll remain so.

>You have no idea what it's for

Is this some kind of third-worlder meme or something? Not knowing what bedlamps are?

>[empty newline 1 & 2]

For what purpose?

>flow into your head

Flow through your head?

>Your stare moves

A stare doesn't move. It changes direction/angle; it turns.

>The sense of time

Your sense of time. Second person, remember?

>You'd never think that ponies would be such great writers.

>punching their way through the concrete barricade that is your disbelief in magical talking equines.

Well duh. If anon never believed in ponies in the first place, why'd he ever think of them as writers?

"You'd never have expected"? "never have thought"?

Concrete barricade of your disbelief. Or at least I think it should be shortened as such; I failed English.

>That, when opposed to the silence

Maybe move the whole "when…night" clause to after "room":

>Your laughter echoed across the hallways of the castle, spooking several guards on its way to purge the castle of the silence of the night.

Or something like that.

>She flew up the wall, her light helmet and armour got sent flying up to the ceiling, and landing on her head at the same moment as her rump hit the wooden floor of the room with a loud thump.

Your sentence is terrible at describing what's meant to be a comedic sequence. I'll try,

>Sun Glare flew up the wall, her barding and helmet sent flying towards the ceiling,only to rebound with a clunk atop her head the very same moment her rump fell flat to the floor with a thump.

but I'm bad at these things as well---my sentence is more of a runoff than yours.

>"Do you guys really not trust me that much?"

I wouldn't trust anon either. In the pony's view, he sleeps abnormally, doesn't fear the spooky dark, and most recently was discovered to be a madman that laughs out of the blue at ostensibly nothing.

>Hundreds of magical torches lining the walls turned bookshelves,

>torches lining the walls turned bookshelves

WDHMBT?

>books of all shapes

Have the patrician pentagonal books been concealed from me and me alone for my entire existence?

If the 'shapes' was intentional, it could do with an extra comedic non-sequitur, except that comedy wouldn't fit into the whole, "amazement with massive bookfort," deal, which is why I presume it wasn't intentional.

>you feel like a kid again, giddy with excitement.

>Speaking of, you've

What exactly is anon speaking of here? That Sun Glare's a kid? Text doesn't make it clear, especially for resident mouthbreathers like me.

>and not before long whispers

"and not before long, she whispers"?

>Your cutie mark guidance was as weak and vague as ever

>not describing the mark

C'mon fam.

>fat (in an attractive way, of course) flank

Gay and Homosexual.

>Cloudy Skies makes a dramatic pose and rolls off her pillow flat onto the floor.

What is this supposed to look like?

>"And that's how I ended up joining the Royal Guard."

>"Then you understand me"

>You expose a short, light brown mane, flocking from her forehead down to the corner of her huge eyes.

>Mare confesses life story, deepest desires, and gets within sensual distance to anon within the span of one conversation

A real HiE.

It's no wonder there isn't such thing as a prereader for greentext; you'd have to have a stupendous will to try.

I enjoyed it anyway, even if the first third of your story was much lower in quality than the rest of it. Sun Glare gave me the urge to fap., it's good shit.

I remember that /pone/ used to have a general greentext thread, one that died in the torfag raid, if I'm not mistaken. Better times.

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08b9bc (2)  No.320897

>>320896

That was much, much better than just yelling crossposter. Thanks, I'll look over those lines again.

>Mare confesses life story, deepest desires, and gets within sensual distance to anon within the span of one conversation

I really should've implied that they've been around each other for a while now, because that was the original idea. The closed distance is Anon's doing, for the most part.

>even if the first third of your story was much lower in quality than the rest of it

I sketched out the part before paragraph 8 a couple of months ago, when I got the original idea for this. The thing's been stuck in my head since then, so I pulled myself together and finished it within a week, without really altering the beginning.

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f2a93b (2)  No.320905

>>320888 (OP)

>>320889

>>320890

Will you continue this? I am looking forward to Sun Glare's adventures with anon.

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5d0dfd (1)  No.320907

File (hide): 9897f8c5c2f44a2⋯.jpg (62.47 KB, 421x421, 1:1, 1461519357540.jpg) (h) (u)

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fd3dcd (1)  No.320998>>321011

>>320888 (OP)

When does the

>Rape

begin?

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f2a93b (2)  No.321011

>>320998

It should have begun when the pony guard fell asleep in the library.

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