/pone/ - My Little Pony★

>be chad thundercock

>go to equestria

>heh, what a bunch of pansie ponies

>gonna fuck all their pussies

>airship is landing

>dumb yellow one is talking some shit about lions or whatever

>safety breifing

>gayyyyy

>chad doesnt need safety

>door opens

>step into equestria

>free pussy everywhere

>walk up to the nearest piece of meat

>an orange one

>"hey bitch, how bout you and me find a nice quiet place where you can suck my cock?"

>"what!? I never!"

>GASP

>how did that fail?

>that line works on stacies 100% of the time

>new plan

>gotta be even more assertive

>even more CHAD

>find a blue one

>on a bench

>"hey good lookin'"

>plop down

>reach around

>grab her ass

>she shrieks and jumps

>oh yeah, this ones into it

>lots of other horse cunts heard and are walking over

>oh yeah, they all want the thundercock

>"he touched me in my naughty place!"

>wut?

>what kind of fag talks like that?

>surrounded by horse cunts

>they seem mad

>huh, must be their girl periods

>six hours later

>leaving hospital

>it wasnt fair

>they cheated

>this is the longest youve ever gone without pussy

>gotta get pussy

>these stupid horse cunts should be throwing themselves at you

>they dont know whats good for them

>its ok

>just gotta give one a taste of the thundercock, then theyll all realize what theyre missing

>there's one now

>pink one

>going in the woods

>perfect

>follow her, sneaky

>she's gonna take your dick and she's gonna like it

>deep innawoods

>flower patch

>she's eating flowers

>bent over

>pussy in view

>target aquired

>creep out from behind tree

>tiptoe up to horse cunt

>twig snaps

>wtf

>that wasnt you

>horse cunt ears twitch

>dives into bush

>wtf

>what asshole just cockblocked you?

>turn around to give him a taste of the thunderfist

>lionwithscorpiontail.jpeg

>motherfucker

>should have listened to the safety briefing

>>312743

Give the lion your thundercock.

>>312743

You know goddamn well Chad would take AJ and Dash drinking before pounding their poons.

>>312750

Applejack is obviously saving herself for marriage and Rainbow Dash is only interested in celebrities

>>312755

Maybe, but He'd plow pinkie after a party, or bone the shit out of twilight since she needs a good fuckin'

>>312755

Those are just the excuses they give to Anon. Nothing with a pussy will say no to Chad Thundercock.

>>312790

The problem is humans psychology.

Many women like the assertive and masculine dudebro kind of guys, because they are alpha's. They act like dominant leaders in a pack, strong and assertive. In biological terms, he has all the hallmarks of a good breeding partner. The kind of mate who's genes you'd want to pass on to your offspring.

But they also want someone meek and controllable for long term relationships. Someone who they can take care of and provide for them. This is what they want from beta's usually.

So they tend to go for guys like Chad Thundercock when their oestrus cycle makes them the most fertile, and want beta's for longterm relationships once their hormones tell them they are pregnant.

This is ofcourse something that varies from individual to individual and is heavily coloured by individual experiences.

You get similar behaviour in most animals that breed for life or even only for the time it takes to rear one set of offspring. As a breeding strategy it helps compensate for your chosen partners potential infertility or if they get killed, and is true for both males and females.

Strict monogamy is something you will only find in nature, in species where one or both mates are killed during or immediately after the mating.

So while women will throw themselves at the Chad Thundercocks of the world, most of them do not seek long term relationships with them.

TL:DR its nature's breeding strategy that makes women crave the douchebags. This is how it has always been.

>>312797

There are two options, then:

A) Replace women with pones who are biologically driven to be honest and loyal and are attracted integrity

B) Exterminate all chads

I'm up for both tbh.

>be chad

>skipping 3rd period

>at the back of the school

>bully some fag stoner for some weed

>he comes and looks really nervous

>warns me that it's really hard

>i probably had harder at that frat party i went too last week so i dont believe him

>about to hit it before i notice his backpack

>its some blue pony

>laugh in his face and put my arm around him

>"man, this is why you cant get any pussy!"

>he mutters something and walks away

>hit the joint

>WTF.vlc

>i instantly go right to my knees and start throwing up

>look at the ground for a couple of seconds to try to keep my composure

>see my forearms shaking while sweat drops from my face

>look up

>its some psychedelic shit

>a bunch of horses surround me, they look really scared

>the garbage can across from me is replaced with a treehouse

>some fucking unicorn comes up to me and starts talking

>"Um, hello! Who are you?"

>holy fuck that dude was right this shit is hard

>i get on my feet and dust off my shirt

>"yeah, im chad thundercock. i go to greensboro high school and im the starting linebacker. who are you?"

>she starts to heavily blush and stammers out "W-well, I am Twilight Sparkle! I run this library and you are currently in Equestria. I don't know where 'Greensboro' is but it sounds nice!"

>library?

>>313263

>"uh… yeah. how do i go back home?"

>the crowd starts to get bigger around me, whispering shit

>the unicorn manages to get out, "Uh… well -auagh- SOMEONE ELSE TALK TO HIM." and runs into the treehouse

>look around and try to find that blue horse i saw on that dudes backpack

>all of a sudden, i get a foot to the back of my head

>i eat the fucking ground

>blue87.pdf

>quickly get up and see who hit me

>its her

>shes in the air pointing at me while laughing

>"Oh man! Did you see him? He got pummeled!" she then does this really annoying laugh that reminds me of my ex stacy

>"do you know who i am? im cha-"

>"Yeah yeah yeah, you're Chad! I already heard you the first time. Say, you're kind of slow, are you sure your name isn't Chad BLUNDERblock?" and she snorts again

>will she please shut the fuck up

>"Why are you here anyway? You obviously aren't from here, did you get lost or something?"

>i dont really have an answer and her face turns more condescending as time passes so i just make something up

>"yeah i did. i came from greensboro and i took the wrong turn, can i stay for the night somewhere?"

>i look around and see that nobody wants to take my offer

>"do you guys have a hotel or something that i can stay at?"

>murmurs ring through the crowd as the confusion is starting to rise

>"Are NONE of you shmucks going to tell him anything? Hey, my house in Cloudsdale is currently getting renovating and Rarity told me that I could stay at her place. I don't think she would mind another pon-thing… with me? How about it?"

>i could have worst last options but this is some cruel joke

>"alright, i guess i will come with you and rarity. whats your name anyway?"

>"It's Rainbow Dash, and don't wear it out!" she gives me a smirk and flies into the clouds

>the crowd starts to thin out as somebody tells me where rarity lives

>i dont know where i am but i am for sure getting some pussy tonight

>>312828

>Biology is not geared towards creating loyal and faithful waifu's I'm afraid.

Some animals are strongly monogamous: wolves, otters, prairie voles, seagulls, hornbills, red-backed salamanders, southern night monkeys…

>>312743

You know, since they live naked all the time, they wouldn't think of it as "nasty place", would they?

>>313268

Oops I meant to write "naughty place". Anyway, wouldn't they think of sex as natural and wholesome?

>>313269

Not necessarily. You walk around and everyone can see your mouth but do you let people put their dicks in your mouth?

>>313267

Except most of these animals will still happily screw other members of their species in a heartbeat when their mate isn't around, since this is this improves the chances of them successfully breeding with at least one partner than is fertile.

Remember, in nature, what matters isn't moral uprightness or being honest, its passing on your genes. There are many strategies for this in nature, but no matter how long animals pair up for, there's always the risk that the mate is infertile or dies. Fucking other potential mates, even while in a monogamous pair, improves your chances of having at least some offspring. This goes for both sexes too.

http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20160213-why-pairing-up-for-life-is-hardly-ever-a-good-idea

>>313279

>BBCuck link

At this point I won't trust even their nature stories to be free from degeneracy-peddling.

>>313298

Feel free to google the subject on your own if you don't believe me.

One of the nice things about nature is that it does what it does and completely ignores political ideology.

>>313278

Yeah.

Anon's Pie Adventure is kind of like that except Anon is a beta built like a chad

<in other words it's not like that at all but it's a good read anyway imho

https://imgur.com/a/7fQMi#WcQr51s

Wow this story's pretty shit