/pone/ - My Little Pony★

>>310007 (OP)

To get things started, here's some adventures I wrote in /tg/ a while back:

>Dragon kingdom has captured agent Sweetie Drops on a secret mission, and the party is sent to rescue her, as well as finish her mission if possible.

>The mission is secret, so the party has no support from the Equestrian government.

>Twilight gets her Starswirl The Bearded cosplay, puts on her robe and wizard hat.

>Sunburst tries to find a map about the dragon culture, but since so little is known about them the map shows only rocky barrens.

>Tree Hugger packs two saddlebags of pure hash.

>Twilight asks Spike to join them, but he awkwardly refuses for undisclosed reasons.

>Sunburst gets train tickets to the border and the party boards the Friendship Express.

>During the trip, Tree Hugger rolls a joint but notices she forgot the lighter. So, instead she just eats a good piece of hash and drifts off as she gets attuned to the secrets of ancient assassins.

>Sunburst tries to read about dragons from a pamphlet in the train car, doesn't learn anything new.

>Twilight tells the train driver they're on a mission to kill dragons and asks him to speed up.

>Train driver doesn't do it, but instead alerts the authorities about a terrorist in the train.

>Train arrives to the last station before the dragon kingdom. There are royal guards waiting for them.

>"Okay everypony, come out with your hooves up! Err, just come out, okay."

>Sunburst was never connected with the terrorist suspect, bluffs his way past the guards.

>Twilight gets arrested and temporarily stored in the drunk tank to wait for a prisoner transport.

>Treehugger grabs her saddlebags full of contraband, and with the skills of a master assassin parkours to the roof of the car and sneaks past the cars into the woods.

>Twilight teleports away from the prison, straight in front of the royal guards panicking over how they could have overlooked an obvious escape route like that.

>The party crosses the border and manages to find the cave of dragon lord Ember.

>They ask about the prisoner, and Ember tells them she caught her trying to steal something from her royal hoard.

>The party asks to talk with the prisoner, and Ember promises to let them see her in the nearby cave.

>The party enters the cave, with two dragons guarding the end of the cell.

>They end up annoying the guards until one of them casually breathes fire on Sunburst, setting his cape on fire.

>Sunburst tries to throw the burning cape onto one of the dragons, but misses.

>As the dragons drive the ponies out, Treehugger throws a block of hash onto the burning cloak.

>Twilight teleports into the cell, tells Sweetie Drops to play dead with her.

>The dragons return to the cave, noticing that there's strange smoke making them lightheaded, and see two seemingly dead ponies in the cell.

>They don't care how Twilight ended up there, as they panic over the apparent poison gas and run away.

>The party sneaks Sweetie Drops out, and she asks if they could still finish her mission.

>Spike had sent her here on a secret mission to steal Embers panties.

>The party tells her that dragons don't wear panties and the ponies head back home.

>At home they tell the news about dragon panties to Spike, who is understandably embarrassed and saddened.

>Twilight buys him an ice cream and he cheers up again. The End.

>Berry Punch has been found comatose on the floor of her house, and the party is asked to investigate.

>Applejack checks the area for suspicious hoofprints, finds nothing out of the ordinary.

>Pinkie Pie feeds Berry Punch some of her party drugs, managing to revive her for questioning.

>Berry Punch tells that she passed out while drinking, which was odd because usually it took at least a full barrel to take her down.

>Sunburst checks the wine, finds it to contain an unidentified ingredient.

>Mayor Mare tries to order the royal guards to help us with the investigation. Guards tell us she has no authority over them

>I don't remember exactly what happened, but to gain Berry Punch's favor the party beat up the guards and Applejack tried to hang them before Berry stopped her and told that it had been a just figure of speech.

>Pinkie Pie still proceeds to fill her party cannon with nails and fire it point blank in the tied up guards faces. The cannon gets jammed and explodes instead.

>Mayor Mare uses some of Berry Punch's liquors to make a saddlebag full of molotov coctails.

>Sunburst finds that there was a strange vine growing from the woods into the vineyard.

>Further investigation reveals the vine had been carefully cultivated by four zebras who swiftly attack the party.

>The party beats three of the zebras and the last one runs away.

>Mayor Mare immediately concludes that this was all Zecora's doing, runs off to her hut.

>Applejack runs after her, while the rest of the party stays with Berry Punch to continue investigation there.

>Applejack and Mayor Mare arrive at Zecoras hut, and there's a lot of commotion going on inside it.

>There are a dozen zebras trashing her hut while Zecora chases them around, calling them south-zebrican scum.

>Mayor Mare immediately pulls out a molotov coctail to burn down the whole hut.

>Applejack stops her, makes Mayor Mare drop the bottle.

>Mayor pulls out a new molotov and lights it. Applejack gives up trying to stop her but the Mayor fumbles on her own and manages to set her whole saddlebag on fire.

>Applejack decides to go along with the mass-extinction plan, wraps a rope around the hut to keep the door and windows shut. The door opens inwards.

>Mayor Mare lights a stick using the burning bag of molotovs and throws it in. The stick lands in a pot and does nothing.

>Applejack throws a lasso over the rope going across the doorway to pull the door shut. She catches the doorknob and yanks, pulling it straight off the door.

>At this point, Pinkie Pie and Sunburst decides to head to Zecoras hut too, in the woods Sunburst runs straight into the escaped zebra and impales his throat with his horn.

>Pinkie Pie reaches the hut and sees Zecora near the doorway. She grabs her from behind and suplexes her out over the rope.

>Mayor Mare throws more burning sticks into the hut, manages to start a fire and keep the zebras from escaping using a burning branch.

>At this point, applejack tries to "summon appul". The player throws five critical successes. Applejacks eyes glow and she starts to levitate. A huge, swirling portal opens in the sky and the bottom of a colossal apple starts falling through it. The giant apple smashes the hut with all the zebras in it, while Zecora and the ponies can only look at it with mouths agape. Best. Ending. Ever.

>Someone's been setting traps in the old Castle of Two Sisters, and the party is sent to investigate.

>The party heads off, but on the way there get attacked by a timber wolf.

>Braeburn tries to seduce the worlf, gets bitten in the ass.

>Bulk Biceps rushes the wolf, misses and stumbles into a ditch.

>Sunburst looks around, spots a small cave the ponies could hide in.

>Braeburn tries to seduce the wolf again, gets mauled near death.

>Everyone else runs into the cave, find Whoa Nelly stuck in the rear entrance of the cave.

>Ponies push her loose and together gang up on the timberwolf. This being my first game in ToE I didn't think they could just kill it, but they did pull it off anyway.

>Party loots some sticks out of CRPG habit rather than needing them.

>Party reaches the castle, finds the drawbridge lifted and moat full of alligators keeping them out.

>Whoa Nelly tries drinking the moat dry. After a few dozen liters gives up with no visible progress made.

>Bulk Biceps pours some curd into the moat on the opposite side of the drawbridge, luring the alligators there.

>Braeburn tries to swim across the moat. Does so successfully but is against a vertical wall on the opposite side and has to swim back.

>Sunburst builds a makeshift bridge and the party gets up to the still closed drawbridge blocking the passage.

>Bulk Biceps tears the bottom hinge off, creating enough of a gap for ponies to squeeze in.

>Inside of the castle is a mess. The throne room has been barricaded off with furniture, while the doors to library and kitchen are still passable.

>Bulk Biceps tries to put the rest of his curd into a refridgerator, ends up shoving it into a dumbwaiter that promptly gives out and falls into the cellar.

>Sunburst checks the library for clues, finds that while no books have been disturbed but all the statues and tapestries have had the gems torn out of them.

>Bulk Biceps looks down the dumbwaiter, sees torchlight shining in the room below.

>The party manages to find a way to the cellar through stairs leading to a hallway with three doors.

>Bulk Biceps heads through the door to the right, finds a kitchen with his curd splattered on the floor.

>Braeburn uses the curd to style his mane. It looks questionable.

>Whoa Nelly listens through the closed door, hears diamond dogs inside.

>Sunburst tries to open the door, but it's locked and he just manages to make noise alerting the dogs inside.

>Whoa Nelly tries to eat the door. It doesn't work.

>Sunburst keeps talking to the dogs while Braeburn tries to enter the room through the last door. It's locked too.

>Whoa Nelly tries eating that door too. It doesn't work either.

>Negotiations aren't going well, the diamond dogs have started digging an escape tunnel from the room.

>Whoa Nelly presses her butt against the keyhole and tries to gas the dogs inside. The keyhole was jammed, she ends up filling the corridor with gas instead.

>Ponies retreat to the kitchen, Braeburn tries to light the methane.

>Methane explosion doesn't manage to break either of the doors, but chars Braeburn's mane and face instead.

>Ponies threaten to call in Rarity, manage to convince dogs that they'll have free passage out as long as they leave their loot behind.

>Dogs carefully open the door and start making their way towards the staircase. Party betrays them immediately.

>Around this point the game takes a turn to the macabre.

>Braeburn grabs a curtain rod and flings it straight at the back of a dogs head. The dog is knocked out and faceplants motionless against the stone floor.

>Bulk Biceps tries to bodyslam another dog, mid-leap hits his head on a ceiling support and falls down.

>Sunburst gets ahead of the dogs and blocks the stairs while managing to tie down one dog down with a hanging tapestry.

>Whoa Nelly walks to the unconscious dog and starts eating it alive. The remaining dog stares in shock.

>Braeburn joins Whoa Nelly, starts raping the dog while looking the remaining dog in the eyes and yelling "Looks like this one was a faggot all along!"

>The last dog throws up and flees into the kitchen.

>Bulk Biceps follows and leaps after him. He misses, as the dog is lying on the floor curled in a foetal position and whimpering.

>Ponies tie him up with no resistance.

Mystery solved with one dog dead, one captured, and one in therapy for the rest of his life.