The Rumors Abound about Ashley (the savior) Schneider and Killcen (Noah 2.0) "working out an arrangement", in which Ashley will take a Greyhound bus to Dirtville, Missouri and occasionally trade sex to Killcen in exchange for a free roof over her head and cigarettes. (pretty much exactly the same way Ashley's been financially exploiting her mother, except this time she'll be paying rent with her throat and vagina)
Spring is right around the corner and love is in the air, because although Killcen's Daughter is rumored to have told her father, "NO! You're already costing me too much money as it is, and I can't feed another mouth! Plus you've peed all over my sofa and my entire living room smells like urine!", once again, killcen's fake tears and guilt trip managed to manipulate his daughter into reluctantly paying for the Greyhound bus ticket and first carton of menthol cigarettes for her upcoming Unwanted House Guest. When Ashley heard the Greyhound ticket was purchased, she was quoted as saying "killcens daughter raped me and owes me money".
8kun Insiders who spoke under conditions of anonymity have confirmed these rumors are true!!
There, in his daughter's blighted single-wide trailer in the backwoods of Missouri, the "Delusional Savior" and "Manic Noah 2.0" can fantasize about saving the world together while they clean the chicken poop off the bottoms of their bare feet…
Killcen is reportedly excited about this new decidedly unromantic Romance in his near future, because he will be kind of like a grandfather to Ashley while still having sex with her.
Killcen will undoubtedly be surprised when he drives his beat up old pickup truck to the St Louis Greyhound station to pick Ashley up, and will immediately be accused of raping Ashley and owing her money.
Insiders report that Ashley Schneider is currently begging her mother in Fond du Lac Wisconsin to purchase her a pack of cigarettes for the Greyhound ride, and reminding her that Mother that she raped Ashley and owes her money.
When asked if she was looking forward to trading sex for cigarettes on the urine-stench sofa, Ashley said, "He's told me it will be like sucking on an index finger with no bones in it, because the diabetes prevents it from getting hard".
The readers of /pnd/ are all excited about this new relationship of convenience for both parties, but not for any of their family members…
