/nofap/ - Fappers Anonymous★

Also I tend to be extremely careful and private and basically I don't trust anyone, at all. I'm always subconsciously trying to craft every word I say. It's a horrible mindset and I realize that. But yea, it's very hard to stop and just relate to other people as human beings.

I know they won't understand how I process the world. And that's lonely as fuck to know that my experience basically has an audience of 1.

Hope that helps, and again thanks in advance for any tips along my Nofap journey

(I'M ON DAY 5 BTW)

If you have the money go and do some cognitive behavioral therapy.

It is quite effective and it can teach you a thing or two.

You haven't written much, but from your few words it seems to me you have great potential for a happy life, and that if you feel shy and socially retarded it's because of your past life (mormon and homeschool) and not because you don't have the tools (so you're not an aspie).

Just the fact that you have a job shows that you have a great potential, it is not so easy to get a job in this society when you are truly at the bottom, socially speaking.

Also other people don't have to fully understand you to love you. I have a lot of friends and I don't get them 100%, but I love them and they love me back anyway despite not getting me 100%.

Anon, you have my sympathies. I remember growing up in Utah, and always being ostracized because our family wasn't LDS. It didn't help I was an aspie loser, so having friends was always something I have struggled with.

However, when I had a friend, it was amazing! I could say what was on my mind and not be judged, and he complemented my weirdness with his own.

It also helped I had a counselor that helped me with my social interactions.

Maybe you need a friend? Do you have a Steam account or something?

>>3309

Dude if you think it sucks being non LDS in Utah you should see what it's like being black in Utah. That's what I have to deal with daily.

>>3310

>being black

>>3294 (OP)

>>3295

you and I have a lot of things in common

I too am completely socially defunct, close to your age, and on day 5 nofap

I had a different upbringing but ended up the same way really

i don't know how to overcome this, people say just keep putting yourself out there just try to talk to one stranger a day but I have no idea how to do this.

what would I even talk about? how do I start a conversation with someone I don't know?

>>3313

The key is to stop looking for outside validation and stop giving a fuck about what strangers think of you. If you go out there with huge puppy eyes and spaghetti spilling out of your pockets trying to talk to people you will probably have an awkward conversation or two then get scared off.

>First find people who share interests with you. >Second talk about said interests.

>Third proactively ask them to hang out again if you had fun

Small talk is a skill like any other skill. If you do it more often you'll get better at it. If you are introverted and do a lot of research online you will probably find that even though you can engage in small talk you won't like it much which is why it's so important to make friends around areas of interest. This way as long as your area of interest is broad enough, constantly changing, or just open to constant communication you won't have to fish for things to say. Also, don't worry about periods of silence and don't just gab on in an attempt to fill them.

Above is how you start to make real friends. If you just want to learn how to talk to people that is also easy. People love to talk about themselves generally, especially to a receptive audience. Use that to your advantage by asking open ended questions that focus on them and let them pick up the slack.

>>3313

great post

bump fo interest

we need one big general. catalog is full of confessions. no offense guys.

>>3353

=[

OP I'm probably exactly like you. this thread opened my eyes to my own struggle. I'm an atheist but my mom raised me to be a very extreme catholic.

find a good psychotherapist

hint: if female discard, if mentions any (((drugs))) even in passing immediately discard

look for integrative psychotherapy

>>3436

CBT can also help but it won't if you're already a logical and thinking-obsessed guy

but it would help if you're a feelings and intuitive sort of person

but if you have control over your own thoughts and "live inside your own head" then it probably wont

>>3437

why sage?? fam! im dispoint!

>>3440

cuz ur a loser lol

>>3294 (OP)

adopt the mindset that life is a game and you can do what ever the fuck you want to. realize that what you call yourself as 'you' doesn't actually exist, your ego, the tiny little voice in your head - it's all an illusion. learn to love yourself and this game called life, enjoy the positives and the negatives that come with it. confidence is just accepting who you are and not giving a fuck. anyway hopefully that's enough to get you started..

>>3440

I sage'd because i dont double post bump.

I also sage now because this is a contentless post.

>>3442

rude tbh

Sorry to hear about your situation. That sounds difficult, especially knowing that the tight knit group before. Christians who truly love Jesus tend to be really tight with each other.

One thing I would recommend, personally, is a fast. Try a fruit and vegetable fast for a few days, get all of the gunk out of your system. This will significantly help your will power - which is what you NEED to be able to overcome porn and jerkin' mr merk.

Second, I would recommend a lifestyle change. Baby steps, don't go all at once or else you will utterly fail. A couple of things would be working out more, staying on the internet less. YOU control that, no body can do it for you. I personally believe that you are able to do it. If you are pretty out of shape right now, start walking then. The olympians had to start somewhere, too.

About the social issues, that is not something I am qualified to speak on, especially since I do not know you personally.

Regarding the spiritual issues, the fact that you talked about this to me says you may be looking, I don't know for sure but it may be the case. I can tell you from personal experience that Jesus Christ is very real, and He is will to help you fight against these urges, but only the urges, He wants to revamp your entire life so that you will have peace that cannot be found elsewhere, THROUGH the storm, not simply away from it. Two of my favorite books are by one of the world's most prolific female writers. You can Google them. Steps to Christ, and Desire of Ages. The first is a little book about how to know Jesus as a personal friend. The second talks about the life of Jesus, the life of victory. I am sorry to hear that your tight knit group was suddenly swept from underneath your feet. It is never fun dealing with those changes. I can assure you God is nearer than you may believe.

On a final note, look at this website too and you will find some VERY helpful stuff: www.howtostopmastubation.com

It's possible to be happy. It's not too far from you. Don't look in the places you've already looked. Search outside of yourself. The hand of the Lord is near the broken hearted, and those who cry out for Him will be answered

www.howtostopmasturbation.com

>>4297

Jewish reverse psychology

>>4297

that site is full of shit.

>>4388

The pushy tone telling folks to follow Jesus Christ is a little bit over the top and will drive people away, but in general it's got some good points.

>>3294 (OP)

1. Never PMO again

2. Wear a chastity device when you're sleeping to avoid wet dreams

3. Bodybuilding everyday

4. At least 1 hour of sun exposure on as much of your skin as possible between the hours of 10am and 2pm to increase vitamin D levels

5. Supplement with zinc every day

6. Start a >16/<8 Intermittent Fasting eating schedule

7. Eat a raw vegan diet with:

- 7a. healthy amounts of avocado for monounsaturated fat and raw coconut butter/oil for saturated fat

- 7b. lots of cabbage, broccoli and/or cauliflower

- 7c. mostly fruits that bring you to total calories that maintain or increase weight

8. Fix postural imbalances like forward head posture by changing the positions you stay in most of the day and strengthening requisite muscles to correct imbalance

9. Buy a water distiller and only drink that distilled water. Avoid BPA products

10. Do vid related as much as possible

Testosterone is the key to overcoming shyness and social awkwardness, the above will cause a dramatic increase in your testosterone levels and you'll see the results you'd like to achieve

>>3294 (OP)

Can you go get involved in your church again?