I use masturbation to numb my emotional pain. Masturbation turns me totally numb. When I do nofap I feel things more intensely, I can feel genuine joy or I can feel like total shit. I am still holding to all the trauma in my life. After a while of nofap I begin to feel this pain in my chest. I can do well in nofap and life in general for a few weeks then I'll relapse to hardcore porn and be shit for weeks.
Has anybody gone through anything similar? Any solutions? I will try to be more moderate instead of fluctuating between the two extremes. I'll try to go only 3 days at a time and only masturbate to pictures of my girlfriend, maybe that would be best for me.