94e2d9 No.399777 [View All]
The board's almost up on it's 400,000th post as of the thread being created, with 226 posts to go, and we should totally have a designated shitposting funposting thread for it
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b7be92 No.400141
 | Rolled 2 (1d10) |
>>400139
Also, rolling for how we rule our homeworld
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d1abba No.400142
| Rolled 10 (1d10) |
>>400141
So we’re sorta hands-off in terms of management
Let’s see how codex-compliant we are
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b7be92 No.400143
| Rolled 12 (1d100) |
>>400142
>Unique organisation
>Indirect rule
>Nu-Marines not following the codex astartes
This is getting interesting
Also, rolling for Speciality restrictions, I'm skipping Combat doctrine since we can all agree FORTIFY is the only way to go
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eb02e7 No.400145
>>400142
>”What is this codex you speak of?”
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d1abba No.400146
| Rolled 66 (1d100) |
>>400143
>no apothecaries
No need for medics when your fortifications stop anyone from getting hurt
Rolling for special equipment
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eb02e7 No.400147
>>400143
>special mount
We will ride giant crocodiles into battle
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b7be92 No.400148
| Rolled 4 (1d10) |
>>400146
>Special Mounts
This opens many doors, brothers
Now, rolling for chapter strength
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d1abba No.400149
>>400146
>special mount
Literally a bunch of dragon riders riding with their waifus
I’ll wait for the other guy roll next, since we appear to be alternating
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eb02e7 No.400150
| Rolled 22 (1d100) |
>>400148
>understrength
Time has evidently taken its toll upon us
Rolling for chapter beliefs
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d1abba No.400151
| Rolled 59 (1d100) |
>>400148
>under strength
Welp that’s rough
Rolling for who we’re friends with
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b7be92 No.400152
| Rolled 3 (1d100) |
>>400150
Nah, set that one to Revere the Primarch because GETs
>>400151
>Chartist Captains
I don't get that one
Rolling for Chapter's Enemies
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b7be92 No.400153
| Rolled 17 (1d100) |
>>400152
>Orks
We "Crimson First: Nu-Marine Boogaloo" now
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eb02e7 No.400154
>>400151
>>400152
>chartist captains
Basically we’re friends with the merchant vessels. We shall never lack for transport to places
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b7be92 No.400155
>>400153
Ignore that last roll, I fucked up
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d1abba No.400156
| Rolled 96 (1d100) |
>>400152
Chartist captains are the leaders of the imperial merchant fleets
So Greatest Ally (tm)
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d1abba No.400157
>>400156
Whoops didn’t mean to roll again
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d1abba No.400158
>>400154
Well chartist captains can’t exactly get us anywhere fast. They don’t get to use astropaths and navigators, so they just take the slow route through realspace. Their average route takes generations to complete.
So not exactly fast transport, but we’ll never be lacking for supplies.
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b7be92 No.400159
So, let's recap
>Nu-Marines Chapter
>Created for a specific Crusade, most likely Girlyman's Indomitus Crusade
>Altered genestock because Cawl slacked around when making our progenoids
>We all have pale skin
>We are based on a Civilized World, that is also a giant jungle
>Weird Chapter cult that other chapters may not agree with
>Our legendary figure was a Brother Librarian who laid down the Smackdown on the Knife-ear faggots
>Unique chapter organization, because fuck Girlyman and his codex
>No Apothecaries
>We ride our waifus into battle
>We hate the greenskins as much as our brethren on Rynn's World
>We are as fucked as the Blood Ravens after Kaurava ATM
>We revere Dorn as our real dad, fuck Girlyman
>Siege/FORTIFY specialists, just like the original Imperial Fists
That went better than I expected
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b7be92 No.400162
>>400159
Oh, and we are friends with Greatest Ally (tm), so we aren't short of supplies
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eb02e7 No.400163
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d1abba No.400164
>>400159
Just one thing: we’re only understrength rn, not endangered. So we might only have like half a chapter, but we’re not “Crimson Fists after the battle of Rynn’s World” tier decimated.
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e07817 No.400165
>>400159
>giant jungle, civilized world
Sounds like Florida.
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b7be92 No.400167
>>400165
>Space grimdark Florida
Perfect
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e07817 No.400179
>>400167
the mounts are armored space gators
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4ae3cf No.400188
>>400162
>endless supplies for endless FORTIFICATION
just as planned
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e4978c No.400196
>>400142
>>400143
Considering that Dorn hated the Codex Astartes and only joined it after the battle of Sebastus IV, we could be like the other chapters like the Black Templars only in the sense that we follow the original guidelines in the original founding before the Codex Astartes.
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e4978c No.400197
>>400179
>>400167
>>400165
And to think there are warp-traveling crocodiles called Crotalids!
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921a5d No.400199
>An entire chapter of Florida Man
Emperor save us all.
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dad365 No.400202
>>400199
>Emperor save us all
More like spare a moment of pity for all the knife-ears and bondage-thots who are about to get Righteously bullied in His honour.
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45b735 No.400203
>>400202
The local Imperium is going to have a slightly harder time as well.
Imagine the look on a planetary governor's or administratum officer's face when these marines come to town.
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dad365 No.400204
>>400159
What should we call ourselves? Serpent Riders for the croc-girls we bring into battle?
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37b31b No.400208
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37b31b No.400211
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
In celebration of dorn get.
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e07817 No.400218
>>400159
>librarian is the hero.
thats a funny way of saying KC.
all these rolls were too accurate.
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b7be92 No.400219
>>400218
>KC was our Chief Librarian who gave the knife-eared panzees a legendary beating
I love where this is going
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e07817 No.400234
>>400219
>chapter trains warp gators to warp into friendly monasteries and chapter keeps. Calls sisters of battle roasties, and often go into terra to make short visits to Dorn so he knows he doesn't have autistic sons like the black templars. Black templars are sort of jelly but enjoy seeing gators rip everything at melee range.
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37b31b No.400236
>>400234
The black Templars are too busy listening to Linkin Loyalist.
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88b791 No.400243
>>400234
>Calls sisters of battle roasties
>Insulting allies for no pertucular reason
What are we, Iron Warriors? We have standards.
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e07817 No.400244
>>400243
dude its a pun on their flamer usage, also since the chapter is a waifu cult, you bet your ass the chapter would cuck grey knights out of killing innocent sobs for some misguided period blood shield.
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dad365 No.400258
>>400208
But only slaaneshi degenerates get AIDS…
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88b791 No.400296
>>400244
>too autistic to get the joke
I'm making Dorn proud.
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ef7b33 No.400567
>>400234
>Autistic sons like the Black Templars
>Implying WE aren't Dorn's most autistic sons
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5dedcc No.400599
>>400000
Nice Now only if this story was allowed to finish
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4ae3cf No.400895
>>400599
I'm placing the bet now, its a Minotaur that claims brother Anon's hips
anyone else care to place a bet
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88b791 No.400909
>>400599
Well it’s still technically live. I haven’t had the motivation lately. One of the reasons is that I ran out of Dorn memes to post with the updates.
Also I’ve posted like ~3 more after that, I believe.
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eb02e7 No.400931
>>400909
>One of the reasons is that I ran out of Dorn memes to post with the updates.
Quickly battle brothers! We require more dorn memes!
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eb02e7 No.400932
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6e3157 No.401599
>>400932
Does this mean /chaos/ is an Iron Warriors warband?
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be159e No.401604
>>401599
no, theyre faggots
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d1abba No.401616
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