/monster/ - The Last Bastion of Romance

>>357248

Alps are anti trap, not antigay. We've not heard once about gays in MGE and I doubt KC will care. It is anti lesbo though. Because dykes can't win against the dick.

>>357249

The entry says if you lust after a man you alp same as if you want to be a girl

>>357251

Nuke-tan a cute!

>Be centaur

>from military family all the way back to the Civil War, signed up for the Marines in '00

>made Scout Sniper, jogging 40 miles and sleeping 4 hours a day was pretty easy if you're half horse

>deployed to Afghanistan in October 2001, called in a few airstrikes against Hadjis and got shot at a lot

>pretty sure I nailed a Chechen sniper through the throat once

>of course, everyone in the platoon swears it was their bullet

>February 2002

>Managed to miss Tora Bora, start to regret not joining the Army

>bf breaks up with me with the cheesiest letter ever. Talked about he couldn't wait years to fuck my horse pussy and wanted to start a family

>my_deployment_ends_in_a_month_you_fucking_nigger.jpg

>it got circulated through the entire FOB, pretty sure Mad Dog Mattis saw it at one point

>second time I cried while in Afghanistan. First was when the only op planned for the entirety of January got pulled

>battle buddy finds me in a maintenance closet

>tearfully tell him to leave, I didn't want him to see me like this

>he pulls out his dick and starts jerking, says he doesn't want me to be the only awkward person here

>I started to give him a hand job, but his dick reminded me of bf and I started crying more

>he began to lose his erection and finished himself in a corner

>kissed me goodnight and called me beautiful

>just another day in the Marines

>>371197

>April 2002

>been home for a week

>between jet lag and no Corpsman yelling at me to take my pills, I fuck up my birth control

>enter heat for first time since Freshman year of college

>that time, I walked into a bar, legs shaking, and begged attractive strangers to fuck me

>call up this guy Eric, who flew helicopter recon

>he was notorious for leaving his Centaur Lover magazines out openly, figure he might be interested

>on a side note, Centaur Lover actually has some pretty good articles

>Eric shows up 30 minutes later

>he's a surgical mask, tactical goggles, and rubber cleaning gloves

>starts fist fucking me before even saying hello

>came three times before he stopped

>he gives me a hug and said it was way more fun than with the horses at his parents' ranch

>I was horrified in hind sight, but incredibly turned on at the time

>fucked like animals for hours before he needed to leave

>said he needed to drive his bro to parole officer

>ask him why bro was on parole

>it was bestiality

>Jesus Fucking Christ

>block his number and never contacted him again

>next time I saw him was in Afghanistan '08

>he gave me the biggest shit eating grin I had ever seen.

>wouldn't be surprised if he literally ate shit either

>and yeah, we fugged

>>371199

>Iraq, 2003

>got a pay raise since I'm officially a spotter now

>having swiveling ears is really good for locating enemy fire, after all

>natural night vision is nice too

>interpreter is Kuwaiti

>massive Ameriboo

>loves fast food, Hollywood, and whisky

>can magically get pretty much any kind of contraband

>talked a lot about how Mohammed rode a female centaur to battle or something

>pretty cool guy over all, much less creepy than first impressions might lead you to expect

>he did bang this black centaur in logistics though

>then again, so did pretty much everyone

>which became a problem, since he was a carrier of at least 5 types of venereal disease

>pretty proud of it too, when we asked.

What the fuck is this trash.

I refuse to believe this is not bait it has every shit tier fetish known to piss the board off that they could fit into a story.

>>371230

I just wanted to write a light-hearted story about a centaur doing jarhead shit.

The sexual elements are for comedic relief.

>>371241

Taking what you're saying at face value, you should get a feel of the sensibilities of the board before you start posting.

It's clear from your story that you don't grasp that our devotion to monster girls isn't about their non human bits(not that we don't love those as well) but that they are idealized female, mates, lovers ect.

You posted some story about a centuar thot. It's obvious to everyone that you and your story stand out. Speaking personally it's gross and nauseating to associate the bestiality and general do it behaviour in the story.

The reason I said the story was bait was it included things anyone who has spent any amount of time on this board know is now welcome.

If this is bait you got me to reply so congrats.

>>371255

>know is not welcome.

>>371255

>no fun allowed

t. self-proclaimed mod and monster connoisseur.

>>371257

If you want to write stories about horses getting fisted and sluts with stds go to another board.

>>371241

>>371257

The story was awful. I thought the first post was some /k/ copypasta about a Strelok giving his battle buddy an awkward handjob, with the Strelok replaced with a centaur, which would have been funny. As I came to realize it wasn't, I only became disgusted by the horse whore.

>>356810

>Anon slaps his super buff waifu's butt.

"This bad girl can fit so much badass."

>Despite her years of of breaking bones, she stills goes "Kyaa!" and later chastises him for doing this in public.

>>371319

I think it would depend on how fast they could adopt our tech or how powerful magic is.

Many years ago, I read a story called The Salvation War. It had a premise I very much liked, where one day God's voice rang out across the world, declaring that humanity had lost it's way and that he was turning Earth-realm over to Satan. Cue the massive demon army erupting out of a portal in the middle-east, only to get promptly BTFO by a multi-national human coalition and Hell gets invaded before humanity turns it's sights on Heaven. Many attempts are made to give plausible explanations as to how the magic recounted in Biblical texts might actually work. Sadly, the entire story suffers from a shitton of cringe-worthy lionization of political figures and a fetish-flaunting tranny being made one of the most important characters.

>>371324

In TSW, one point that comes up is the armies of Hell attempting to adapt to the realization that humanity has advanced to such a massive degree.

>>371328

Imagine a Cheshire just making her arm apear inside a jet and forcing the pilot to eject or dropping a daemon silver bomb into the meeting spots of the armies command structure. As long as monster can grasp the tech they could easily subvert it with abaities we never designed counters for. I don't think it would be as much a stretch as people think look at automatons and gremlins they could easily grasp a fire arm or even a missle.

>>371319

I honestly don't think a violent invasion would work, nor would it be the mamono's strategy.

I think the best way of doing this is to do the following:

1. Exploit "open borders" countries even if the mammono have values like our own, the sjws will blame "white men" when abortion is outlawed, actual assault rifles are legalized, and 33% of said white men are "proactively dated"

2. If you can fix the "no sons" thing the mamono could form a deal with the alt-right. You and your sons will belong to the monster girls (ie taking a sojurn into nests of the more white-looking, rape-crazy monster girls when the boys come to an acceptable age (hit puberty, so that any potential fags incubise into the mamono's desires before they discover that they are gay). These inroads will create a trap for any potential dissidents.

<"Thank you for joining the National socialist party we look forward to helping you rid our communities of these Invaders, but first look up to see your new wife"

>>371328

´hfy stories are always extremely retarded and embarrassing

>>371349

>a Cheshire just making her arm apear inside a jet

In the story, portals could only open between dimensions and only then by having something to focus on present on the other side. For demons, this usually was initially a human with some demonic ancestry via inc/succubi, through which a succubi or gorgon could pass through and position herself as the 'beacon' for a larger portal. These portals required large 'choruses' of nagas focusing their mental energies through a 'shrine', in actuality a primitive antenna. Humanity, of course, quickly manages to figure out how to substitute electronic means of portal generation.

The greater problem with your AA Cheshire idea is that in most scenarios the Cheshire would have a pretty damn difficult time knowing where to make her arm appear. Even if you told a Cheshire when and where a plane was going to make an attack, that's still an insane amount of space the plane could be. And of course it's moving at a speed incomprehensible to a person of the time. Of course, this comes mostly from my personal interpretation of MG lore, where Cheshires can only very slightly bend the rules of reality in our world.

>subvert it with abaities we never designed counters for

As they adapt to us, so would we adapt to them.

>>371353

A long time ago, they were fun. It was mostly seeing the difference between species and showing human as crazy yet bro-tier fucktards.

I remember one story where some guy got his hot sauce confiscated as a chemical weapon but he told some aliens he ate the stuff and watched them flip their shit.

Then reddit got hold of it and it became shit.

>>371382

>I remember one story where some guy got his hot sauce confiscated as a chemical weapon but he told some aliens he ate the stuff and watched them flip their shit.

I'd like to read that.

>>371382

I always enjoyed HFY stories where some mundane aspect of humanity was revealed to be something that only humans do, and it was crazy to the rest of the universe. Music works well, and cooking. Stories like "all the other species in the universe are super weak so lethal weapons to them are like rubber bullets to us" are boring. It can be done well, but usually just makes us look like a species of isekai MCs.

>be me, EOD tech in Iraq, few years back

>It's like the boring half of the Hurt Locker, mostly remotely detonating road side bombs with a robot

>New transfer today

>Has some crazy East European name I can't pronounce, and a pay grade I didn't know existed

>Probably a demi-human who can kill people with his mind

>Magic isn't as powerful as it was a few centuries ago, and few things could justify that kind of pay

>meet the new guy during dinner

>It's actually a drow woman

>First thing I notice is the eye patch, surrounded by a patchwork of scars on the right side of her face

>It looked like burns, the nasty kind you get from white phosphorus

>Second was her otherwise attractive face and a one-sided grin

>"My name is Phantasm. I heard we're going to be blowing shit up together"

>oh, nice. I always had a pirate fetish.

>>371405

>Ask her what her special abilities were, since she got paid more than most generals.

>"And here I was, hoping you would start with my name," she said sarcastically.

>"It's actually related. The Greek Army started calling me that after reports that I was immune from bullets and caused their demolition charges to fail."

>"You know those degenerate commie high-elf hippie cocksucks on the west coast who can communicate with trees?"

>I nodded. They were the trust fund types who unironically thought trees were more important than people. One of yhem made national news when she chained herself to a tree to prevent logging, had it's roots grow around her to stop the police removing her, and then begged and cried to be cut out when she realized that trees couldn't grow in reverse

>"Well, I'm that way with explosives. I can set them off with my mind, jam radio detonation signals, sense their internal structure, things like that.

>"I'm explosive-kin, Anon. In all ways except physical, I am a bomb."

>"Should I disarm you then?" I said in my cheesiest flirting voice,

>"Because your pants look ready to explode."

>I leaned over and tried my best to maintain a straight face

>"With my DICK"

>She gave me an amused look and began to open her mouth for a retort, but I spoke first

>"Wait, Greece hasn't been in a war since WWII."

>"Most people finish figuring that out faster than you, Sergeant Cohen. I bet 5 minutes is some kind of high score for you.

>"So," I tried my best to phrase it delicately, "what branch were you in?"

>"Wondering if I'm Wermacht or SS?"

>She curled up her surprisingly musculat right bicep and showed me her SS blood group tattoo.

>"Got that when I volunteered for SS Nord in '40"

>She began giggling as she observed the blood drain from my face.

>"Don't worry though. I might happen to have a thing for Jewish boys".

>>371409

>As it turned out, she was actually Finnish, and her real name was as hard to pronounce as it looked.

>Growing up, she realized that her magic was unusually weak, but that she could feel the insides of people through their flesh and listen in to radio shows with her mind

>These talents caused her to take an interest in medicine growing up, but she quickly found her real calling in explosives when she served her conscription in the Finnish Army.

>During the Winter War, she was attached to a commando unit that operated deep behind enemy lines, where she provided electronic intelligence and detonated ammo dumps

>She could even destroy tanks by igniting their fuel tanks if she was close enough

>After that war ended, she signed up with the SS, who considered elf-kind to be some distant Aryan kin.

>Some actions in the Balkans later, Germany invaded Russia, and she was part of the armored spearhead into Ukraine

>She deserted the SS, albeit with the permission of her commander, to fight in a Finnish unit when Finland joined the war on the side of the Axis.

>Some time during the next few years she lost an eye to a stray bullet, learned to make wards against overpressure and light shrapnel, and got herself a feared reputation amonst friend and foe alike. There were also a lot of medals involved.

>After Finland surrendered in 1944, she went to Germany and signed up for the SS. Again. And almost got shot for desertion.

>Crazy woman volunteered for the SS in fucking 44.

>After the war, she moved to the US, and had been in the military ever since.

>She had been reluctant to discuss her other injuries, though, or why she was working in an EOD unit instead of Delta Force or DEVGRU.

>Her flirty and smug demeanor changed into something sad whenever I approached the topic.

>But before I could ask her more, our CO came in and told us to be ready to move in 10 minutes.

>"After telling me so much about myself, Anon, why don't you tell me more about you on our way there?"

>I nodded. It was going to be a long night.

>Not because of my stories, but because of, you know, IEDs and shit.

>>371409

Shit, I meant SS divison Wiking instead of Nord.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gblr07yKLBQ

EOD drow is based on an actual guy, Larry Thorne. I left out some of the crazier shit he did like breaking out of prison repeatedly, commanding his own commando unit, having a massive bounty placed on him by the Soviets, and jumping out of a boat and swimming to shore to get past US customs.

>>357237

>>357222

It's like no one has heard of electronic hardening or having explosives installed inside robots so in case they do monsterize, you just activate the bomb inside.

>>371731

>Self-destruct does not work

Oh come on!

>Robots start cumming

Not that way!

>>371731

If that continues to be a thing, you could always have them intentionally monsterize and then hand them the bomb telling that if they get the 'present' over to the monster girls, they get 72 male virgins.

>>371744

Normal bomb

>"Ugh! I hate polygamy. I'd rather have one man to love with all my heart than parse it out to multiples."

Smart bomb

>"Uhh you do realize adultery is toxic to us, also that 72 bit sounds… Oh @#&&.

>>371414

>By the time I was geared up and arrived out side, a Chinook was already waiting

>A giant of a man, probably 7 feet tall and built like a brick shithouse, was standing at the entrance, waving us in.

>the guy wasn't wearing a uniform, having on instead white robes and a cowboy hat, smoking a cigar.

>that marked him pretty much 100% as a spook, CIA most likely.

>"Nice to meet you, my name is Ben. Y'all ready to help me send towelheads to hell?", he spoke in some northern accent over the roar of the engines.

>I look back at Phantasm, who was running up behind me

>something about the "Ben" fellow just didn't feel right

>she gave a thumbs up, making some joke in a language I didn't understand. Something Asian, maybe?

>Ben laughed back. "Well, that's why they call me Gook Gutin' Garrison."

>Fuck me. I'm getting pulled into some black ops shit, aren't I?

>be me, mechanic innaFOB

>first deployment, don't know what to expect

>make some friends, best was Gaybro

>Gaybro was extremely gay, but in the super masculine kind of way

>still had a small lisp he could never get rid of

>joked about being so gay he would fuck ass even if it was attached to a woman

>All kidding aside, we had similar senses of humor, rooted for the same sports teams, and enjoyed the same type of vidya.

>Enter Bicorn Slut

>met her about a week after I arrived

>she came to sit with me and Gaybro during dinner

>nice body, but face was a little busted, 4/10

>seemed pretty cool at first. Was an MP, talked about how locals think she could steal peoples' souls.

>As time went on, it became clear that she had a crush on me

>An obsessive crush, made frequent "jokes" about how she wanted us to get married

>Made weirder by her continued flirtations with the rest of the base, probably part of some sick bicorn cuck fantasy

>Gaybro started to get pissed at her following us everywhere, trying to cut in whenever we watched a game

>Football season coming up, our team might actually win the Superbowl this year

>We decide that she obviously wasn't getting the hint that I wasn't interested, and need to send a stronger signal

>so we decide to plan the most disgusting threesome possible, hopefully drive her away to greener dick pastures.

>what could possibly go wrong?

>>371792

>I ask Bicorn Slut if she would be interested in a three-way with me and Gaybro

>Her ears perked right up, and promised to do her best

>night of the event, didn't shower or brush my teeth for 3 days

>picked Taco Tuesday for a reason

>she walks into my room, with only her underwear just as we asked

>Gaybro tears off her lacy horse panties like an animal

>I pinch her nipples for a bit before kissing her with my swamp breath

>she bites her lip and tries to look cute holding back tears

>Gaybro goes in for dry anal, and I spit on my dick (cliche, I know) before sticking it in her front pussy

>…

>Oh, shit

>She's openly crying at this point, and apologizing for not telling me earlier that she was a virgin. Turns out the flirting I saw was just her trying to seem cool.

>Gaybro and I make eye contact

>We dun goofed

>She's probably going to remember this for the rest of her life.

>So 200 years?

>Gaybro slinks out of the room, leaving me to deal with it alone

>I try to salvage the situation the best I can, pop down a mint and started over with kissing and foreplay

>I couldn't finish, but she looked like she was enjoying it a little

>before she left, she hugged me.

>"Despite what happened, I'm glad my first time was with you, Anon".

>I was left alone in my room with nothing to do but think

>I looked at the remains of her torn underwear

>We're massive fucking assholes, and we tormented the poor girl because we wanted to watch football without her.

>And we thought it would be funny.

>I was too tired to do anything but sleep.

>>371795

>Next morning, I ate lunch in silence with Gaybro.

>The man had shot children and seemed fine the next day, but today was different.

>Mary (I can't call her Bicorn Slut anymore) joined us at the table with a smug look on her face

>"Yeah, sorry for involving you guys in my fetish, but I did the routine last night with more than a few guys. None offered me a threesome though."

>Turns out Bicorns can regrown their hymens, and she used this to annoy guys into hatefucking her.

>"My rear virginity you took last night was real though, Gaybro. Can't exactly regrown that", she said in a in a triumphant grin. "Besides, most guys don't like the horse parts."

>Gaybro had his face in his hands, motionless.

>We got out-fucking-played

>>371802

>More monster sluts

When will you faggots get the picture and fucking leave? You're not wanted here. Take your cuck shit and get out.

>>371802

>That Friday, I pulled her into my room

>"So I Googled the thing about bicorn hymens, and I'm not getting so much as an urban legend. Mind telling me what's going on?"

>She smiled, this time a lot sadder than the last.

>"Remember that time when I told you I loved you, and you said that I didn't know what love was? That it was about more than just infatuation, but wanting the best for them, and becoming a better person because of them? Well, I wanted the best for you."

>"The first infatuation that my kind feel is something that tends to overwhelm us. It felt like my very soul was on fire whenever I realized you didn't feel the same way that I did. But eventually, we get over it, put ourselves together, and move on. The second time doesn't hurt nearly as bad."

>"So someone had to be the first, and i didn't want you to feel too broken up about it. It would have made for a better story if you thought I was some fetishist instead."

>I really didn't know what the fuck was going on anymore.

>I brushed my hand against her face and felt her tears dripping down.

>"I think an even better story would be the one where we went on a date and got to know each other."

>"Please don't play with me like this, Anon", she said, looking genuinely scared. "I can't handle Taco Tuesday again. Not if I start to trust you."

>"I don't know if I'll ever hurt you again, Mary, that's the reality of relationships. But I can promise that I'll never do it on purpose. Not like last time."

>She took my hand in hers, and smiled. It made me happy.

>>371802

Anon, I don’t like telling writefags their work is shit, but your writing is shit. I’m not averse to some edge or disturbing content but all I’ve seen is disgusting fetishes, your jokes aren’t funny and when I thought there was even some character-wise aspect I found actually interesting (behind the disgusting shit which it didn’t even redeem), you turn it around into “lol it’s just a prank.”

Take your shit to /chaos/, maybe your work will be appreciated there.

>>371802

Utterly repugnant. My sincere advise to you to improve your work and the quality of the board in general is to suck the bird shot out a 12 gauge.

>>371802

Writing-style-wise and all that it's fine, but I think you've misjusdged your audience here pal.