>>24125
STOP calling me out I'm so scared of wasting anymore of my life that I've fucking taken on way too much shit at once and it's kinda killing me.
My parents pulled me out of highschool early for whatever their reasons and I'm only now entering higher education.
So of course out of feelings of incompetence and inadequacy, I'm taking on way too high a course load and running too many curricular and co-curricular projects… at the same time I'm struggling with a now 10-year long depression and the last few years of hallucinations and paranoia I think is being driven from my two untreated head traumas (I never went to the hospital after bashing my skull so hard TWICE that I blacked out and got amnesia).
I just hate myself so much and this is so much pain that I can't stop, I feel like I deserve it. I need to do these things and I hope for something good out of all of this absolute nonsense I'm causing myself.
Anyway thanks for listening to my diary entry