/girltalk/ - Girl Talk

>>12227

If we're talking psychology of the genders on average (in massive neon colored air quotes around "on average" to the point you might as well just change it to allegedly);

- Guys suck at making things and raising things. Women are good at it. Could it be the guy has wound up in your affections in a platonic manner (like a child or sibling), and so you want to make him happy?

- On a simpler level, you had a bad relationship, so you feel by fixing someone else up you'll get good karma, or learn from your errors? Perhaps you empathize with his situation?

- On the simplest level- you like helping people. Again, if you empathize with him and don't want him to be unhappy, you try to make him happy. Even if you know a relationship between you wouldn't work, you don't want him unhappy since he is a nice person.

IMO- don't read too much into it. As long as you don't feel like you have to do this to be besties (or more) with him, or that he makes every convo about getting pity for free and he's trying to turn you into a wingman- then I say it's fine.

Just remember that while it's good to make other's happy, you've also got your own life to live. (Though a few can live a life of making others happy and be content with that).

>>12227

Could it be that he had good genes and you subconsciously wanted him to make strong white offspring (even if it isn't with you)?

>>12229

Thank you so much for this anon, I feel most connected with the simplest level really. I think i might be doing this to show him that I care about him and that I'm good at relationships (wink wink???). And nah, he talks to me as often as you do with someone you don't have too many things in common with and are shy. I am usually the one to bring her up in conversation. I think I might be trying to convince myself that I like her though, which isn't very healthy.

>>12235

p-possibly…

>>12236

What is that you like so much about him?

>>12229

>Guys suck at making things and raising things. Women are good at it

t. single mother of a future felon :^)

>>12237

I think it's more right-time-right-place type of attraction, but he's very attractive, he's kind, funny, we like the same music, have some similar interests, both like each other's accents. That's probably all though, I just rebounded onto him and accidentally got attached.

>>12227

>due to my bpd

>because I want the best for him

You're not an overly destructive BPD, that's for sure.

It'll all work out in the end, anon. Not with him, but with someone else. You're gonna make it, brah.

>>12241

Not worth it.

Let it go.

>>12227

>What the hell is wrong with me?

Don't worry, you can be in good company in the other girl centric board >>>/cuckquean/ :^)

I think you are doing the right thing. Actual affection is wanting the best for the one you say you like, even if "the best" isn't you.

>>12249

Top Kek.

>>12229

>Guys suck at making things and raising things.

Except for domesticating species, building monuments, inventing things, creating western civilization, art, music, literature and culinary crafts… Other than that yeah, guys are dumb lol, they can't even queef!

>>12286

Anon I think you're projecting your own negativity onto her.

>>12287

Looks like you're one of those mgtow fags tbqhwyf.

>>12291

>I think you're projecting your own negativity onto her

No, look up borderline personality disorder. Most psychologists won't even work with them. I've dealt with several. I'm not saying they're intentionally monsters but, okay let me put it this way, BPD is what makes both Zoe Quinn and Onision act the way they do.

>>12291

While female psychopathy is a bitch to date, and they are certainly frustrating if you're looking for something that's not like looking into a two-way mirror with them telling you want you want to hear or whatever reflects best on them, it's really better not to even bother asking if she's being destructive in this scenario. It'll just lead to drama in the best case.

>>12292

>>12295

>psychology

I can't place much trust in pseudoscience.

>>12242

>You're not an overly destructive BPD, that's for sure

still hurts so bad my dude :'') thank you though

>>12243

yeah alright

>>12286

ehh kinda? except the guy I'd just broken up with had sexually abused me. But yeah hate to admit you're right on the mark with borderlines not being good in a relationship…

>>12305

I'd prefer not to, but he kept forcing me into things I wasn't comfortable with. I was with him when I was a minor too.

>Half of the thread is pretty much some literal phaggot samefagging who spends his time waving his dicks about reddit tier meme achievements that he wouldn't dream of accomplishing himself, on a fucking barbie-pink board on a thread started by some chick asking for relationship advice

Expected nothing less from doodz. I swear you goddamn subhumans can't live on without female interaction and approvation.

>>12308

So people who posts with vpns have their posts automatically tagged as male? Toppest kek this is truly the fucking tranny board

>>12227

OP, after reading everything I can honestly say you are a trainwreck. Ever got psychiatric help?

>>12310

Just change the flag you tard.

>>12306

How old were you? If it was young it can fuck you up.

>>12304

> the guy I'd just broken up with had sexually abused me

You realize that's the kind of shit all borderlines claim though?

>>12333

I think trainwreck is an exaggeration, I'm doing quite fine beside this. And yeah, finally talking to a psych

>>12352

not that young, only 16

>>12354

well I guess I'll need to talk to my pysch about being forced into intercourse as a minor by an adult and see if he thinks it's just a hallucination during a dissociative episode

>>12227

You just said it, you have BPD, you're a vile person out of the gate.

>>12375

Yeah, it's a pretty common staple of BPD behavior to rationalize everything as sexual impropriety/rape in order to justify their behavior.

>>12375

tbh I'm a cheeky rapist

I've raped women with my cheeks and beard.

I have no idea how I've gotten away with it. Some day I'll have to face the consequences.

>>12376

Personality disorders are shitty, fam.

Yeah, they're mostly vile people who leave destruction in their wake by fucking with other people's heads/relationships. Underlying that though is a fucked up thought process of bad habits. It's not so simple though, it's not like they can wake up one week and realize what they're doing and fix it.

Let's consider male psychopaths: there's probably some underlying psychobabble anxiety underpinning that, but the psychopath is clearly ill.

If they're destructive, they're vile, but either way they need help. That help takes years with personality disorders like these, if they can ever be cured.

>>12375

tldr, also I have no way to prove it to you so there's no point in arguing lmao, but if you don't consider an adult over 18 having sex with a 16 y/o rape then I don't really know what to tell you

>>12376

vile? how?

>>12304

>ehh kinda? except the guy I'd just broken up with had sexually abused me.

Sure he did. And he probably was VERY surprised when you confronted him about it.

>>12378

Pyschopaths and people with personality disorders can't be cured or even treated for the same reason they don't care and they never experience insight into their disorder. People with "normal" pyschological disorders know they're crazy, even schizophrenics know they're slipping at first and when you give them meds they will acknowledge how crazy they were. That's because those are things that happen to a person not the person. With personality disorders the person is the problem. I'm not saying a psychopath can't learn to act like a normal person, or someone with BPD can't benefit from therapy to help with their depression and emotional outbursts, but their worldview which creates these problems will never change unless they have some kind of conversion experience.

>>12382

Perhaps not consciously, but in the sense that you have a disorder that predisposes you to do harm to others.

BPD is like the psychological analog to a disorder where somebody must randomly punch people in the face at intervals.

>>12391

She looks like a melting candle.

>>12382

>but if you don't consider an adult over 18 having sex with a 16 y/o rape then I don't really know what to tell you

So, when you describe "rape" you mean a relationship you consented to but then regretted once it ended.

I don't know where you're from, but 16 is the average age of consent. Even in states where it's 18 there's typically "Romeo & Juliet laws" which are created specifically for this scenario and generally allow for either a two or three year age difference. So unless he physically forced you, drugged you, blackmailed you or tricked you, no. There was no rape.

>>12391

I've seen that too, with the whole, being amenable to other ideas and then doing a 180 and flipping out over a discussion they had with somebody as if that person was a manipulator or something.

I can't stand that shit, I've dealt with it in my own family. Awful.

BPD fascinates me, though I never want to experience it myself.

>>12457

It's not that interesting honestly.

You get periods of highness and afterwards terrible suicide toughts and harsh depression.

Really makes you think of how many feelings are actually coming from our mind and how many are coming from our body chemicals, tho.

>>12459

Wait, are we talking about borderline or bipolar? Borderline is terrible and fascinating, bipolar is just terrible.

>>12462

You know what "whore" means, right?

>>12308

> I swear you goddamn subhumans can't live on without female interaction and approvation.

>implying

>>12447

It's not so simple, really, either.

BPD has empathy, they have hyper empathy really, generally they're really good at discerning one's emotional state just by looking at one's eyes. One wrong look or statement from you and the thoughts can spin into a clusterfuck of destructiveness, basically.

I just don't see the point of bullying people, as has been admitted in this thread there's no way you can know the truth because generally they only show you what reflects best on them.

I'm just saying it's a shitty situation either way. If what was told is true, it's for the best. It won't work out, and she should focus on getting help. Did her ex take advantage of her? Maybe. Probably not, really, but it just turns into drama if you force the issue.

>>12447

I think I need to talk to my psychologist about this further, I was diagnosed when I was about 17 and was dealing with terrible depression but I never dissociated

>>12449

where I live it's illegal to be 18 or over and have intercourse with someone under 18, apologies for not doing prior research on the age of consent for every country

>>12528

>>12449

-correction- where I live the age of consent is 17 (I thought it was 16 myself)

I don't know why I made this thread as I wasn't sure how anyone could help me, but a few posters actually have in more ways than one, so thank you. I'm not going to be following this thread anymore as I have come to some conclusions, and realised I may need to talk to a different psychologist and stop talking to men online

>>12528

That's consent in the eyes of the law, really. Sure, 16 year olds are dumbfucks and most of them don't really understand what the consequences of their actions are, but it's really fucking hairy when you get down to it and this is a really divisive subject.

Consider the Ship of Theseus: over time I am practically a new myself, every day a continuation only based on my memories, and my "personality" and "worldview" that themselves are rooted in cells that are replaced when they die on a daily basis.

If a later version of myself sees an experience that was plainly consensual as being taken advantage of, because the current version of myself didn't want it, was I really taken advantage of?

>>12530

Good luck, anon.