Breaking news: China is single-handedly destroying the Coronavirus with fully functional masks and international cooperation Ben Shapiro-style -and boy are the retardlicans mad.
Currently Canada, Iran, Mecca, Obama, and Jesus are reporting that their Coronavirus masks they bought from China are defective. And do you know why -because they're a bunch of god damn retardlicans like always! In this day and age people are so intolerant of Communism you know, it's just rude. Just because you might die due to lacking masks because they ones you bought from China are defective, … I forget where I was going with that. The point is, stop being mean to China you intolerant retardlican swine!
Mike Pence reportedly said in a press release: "The Chinese-manufactured white-genocide Christian-oppression death virus is a disgrace to God's great people. It is time my brothers to prepare for the end-times. Our prophet Trump will guide us, and I alone will lead the human race in the war to come against the demonic Chinese forces of evil. Do not fret, for God is American. Besides, the Coronavirus only targets people who kind of deserved it due to having a lot of original sin in their soul. -There I said it I know you were all thinking it."
You see, the problem with these cucky beta retardlicans, is they think China is always evil. Just because China's wet market laws, which were thoroughly criticized and condemned globally prior to the Coronavirus, for having the potential to cause something like a Coronavirus, caused the Coronavirus … that doesn't mean they're bad people you loonies! Don't we all know that 1 friend who accidentally caused a partial human genocide?
Mike Pompeo stated just earlier this evening: "While testing the ability of my penis to piss so hard on this map of Iran that holes tear in it… I was thinking about America. What it means to be American. And I think we have to be honest with ourselves about who we are. We are not China. That is who we are. And as long as that is true, we must remain vigilant against China's abuses of power wherever they may appear. … Oh you were asking about the Coronavirus? Yeah we're fucked probably should've done something sooner but uh… Donald Trump will guide our souls, whether they are on American soil, or in American heaven."
You see retardlicans, the thing about libtards is their libtarded genius is unfathomably superior to your smol smooth retardlibrains. Retardlicans worry about things like 'muh rights' and 'muh freedoms' and 'i literally am about to lose my house and my family may die due to poverty because of these policies please stop this insane lockdown' and you know something -that's why you're retarded! Just fucking die already you dumb piece of shit. Libtard chads meanwhile jack off at home all day playing Minecraft and listening to ASMR until their savings run out in a couple months and they're forced to cut power and water. Be more like the libtard chad, -think about tomorrow, and not a day farther than that. China went to the trouble of starting a worldwide pandemic the least you could do is be politically correct and die.
In conclusion, we need to be more tolerant of China's right to accidentally murder millions of people, and embrace their broken mask aid that they generously place atop the corpses of our people. And in hindsight, we probably shouldn't have made it so easy for them to do that, but hey, gotta own those libtards… by letting the healthcare system completely break down. Bernie Sanders is just a cuck so we don't need that universal socialist health plan of his. Trillions of dollars for a healthcare plan? 'b-but it will actually save us money compared to the trillions we already spend overa-' shut the fuck up Cuckie Sanders! No, we know better than Bernie Sanders did and that's why we chose Braindead Joe. We're America. We don't need anyone's help to go trillions of dollars further in debt.
Welp, guess everyone's gonna fucking die. China's so great!
