Why dont u try towel hangs?
Start on a single towel for 5 sets of 30 seconds then fradual progress to 1 minute over 4 months.
Do the minute long hangs for one month then progress to double towel hangs for 30 sec, rinse/repeat.
When u can hang on to a triple stacked towel for 2 minutes, ill be impressed.
You will probably also get fat fingers and a skull crushing grip, as well as steel cable forearms, and look like a freak, but at least when this universe transforms into a progressively harder hanging existance, you might have a chance of surviving. Good luck!
