>>136846
>>136856
Don't worry, everyone is just consulting the Scrying Pool of Genital Protection that you may render projectiles inert on contact with your Orbs of Power. So vast is the collected knowledge on this subject, no one man can give a short answer- thus after scrying, we must write the information upon foreskin scrolls and penned with the ink dipped penis of our most "natty vegan(virgin)", for it is known across the land that they are pencil dicks. It will then be transcribed and uploaded here that you may finally seek out and don your Genital Armour of Faggotry +2 (+5 vs. Bullets).
I would also recommend seeking out a Rope of Hanging and a Wooden Beam of Embarrassment which then you should combine with the finest alchemy. From there, you should tether thyself and leap, while wearing your "cup", as you call it, like a mask the likes if which The Master Shredder would be proud.
Good luck in your adventures, hero!