/fit/ - Fitness, Health, Exercise, Dieting, etc

>>134874

>fucking leaf

TBH you sound like a low test faggot. Watch some hockey and drink a molsen.

Then shoot a moose with a hand gun. After that you go to the gym and lift some heavy shit till you’re sore. Repeat daily till your not a faggot.

>>134875

>and lift some heavy shit till you’re sore

How about failing to lift an empty bar till I'm bleeding internally? If that counts, then I did it already.

>>134877

Fuck off you whiny pussy. Get off my board if you're just gonna bitch and moan. You aren't special, you don't have some rare genetic disease where you can't lift and it hurts and blah blah, you're just lazy, undedicated and you want someone to hold your fucking hand. No surprise you're from Canada either.

>>134874

>Low T fag problems

What is it with both fatties and skelies that they seem to think their body somehow defies biology, physiology and even the laws of physics.

Get your ass in the gym and get under that bar and do the fucking work.

>but i tried

No you didn't. You know how I know you didn't really try? Because you're still a whiny little beta bitch dyel.

Do the work. Eat more. Rest properly. You will see results.

>but I don't enjoy it

Who gives a fuck what you enjoy. Do you want to be a man or not? A man does what needs to be done, everything else is secondary.

>>134880

I tried for three years though. You're not answering my question. Is that abnormal? What was I supposed to be feeling after three years besides pain? When people say the words "I enjoy working out and you will too", what do they mean by that?

>>134883

Then why do I have such vivid memories of it happening? I had a personal trainer of sorts, he would tell me "get on that bench and push that bar" and I would strain and strain for half an hour without moving the bar at all. I'm sorry I didn't think to preserve any protographic evidence of that.

If you can't bench the bar, then bench tiny dumbbells. You just want an excuse.

Get your T tested, soyboy. Cross the border and get it done in the US if you need to, shouldn't cost more than 50$

>>134887

>>134886

I'm aware of that. You're not answering my question.

When people say the words "I enjoy working out and you will too", what do they mean by that? Like it is somehow pleasant in the moment, or do they mean they're glad to have done it afterward?

>>134874

Generally, the people that enjoy it are those that go to the gym with friends. It's a masculine social thing, like pipe smoking or fishing. You'll notice these groups of Chad gymbros bantzing it up, taking a couple hours to finish their meme workout. Personally, I find hitting the gym to be a necessary chore, and it's ultimately well worth it because of how much better it makes you feel. Plus the health, strength and aesthetic gainz, plus the miring the succulent gym thot ass.

>struggling with an empty bar

How the fuck, though? Are you a girl? I was a sedentary twig when I started and an empty bar was never difficult. I felt it with squats, initially, but after a few weeks it feels like nothing at all. Benching a bar is nothing for a male, even an untrained male. Can you do a push-up? Do push-ups until you can bench the bar. Do Starting Strength. Lift like an ant, eat like a horse, and sleep like a baby. And drink like a quarter gallon of milk a day if you have the slightest bit of trouble eating large amounts of food.

If you actually cannot physically lift an empty bar on the bench, and you're not just crying about the DOMS afterward, you have serious shoulder problems. There is no possible way a normal person could not progress upward from a 45 pound bench, even a lazy cunt who does one set a week. See a fucking doctor because something is clearly wrong with you.

>>134888

>When people say the words "I enjoy working out and you will too", what do they mean by that?

People who actually try make progress, and the progress feels nice. There's also increased quality of life, improved looks, all sorts of shit. There are also physiological changes that come post exercise that feel nice, but it's not like you lift a weight and then suddenly you're high on life. It's more like avoidance of feeling like shit than a positive mood.

>>134874

I think you should give it another try, OP. I first started working out in college and I couldn't bench the bar at first either. I couldn't even squat an unloaded bar. If you can't lift the bar, then lift something lighter. You've got to work your way up to the bar, and then you can start adding weight. Like other anons said you've also got to eat plenty of food and get enough sleep. As for your question, I do legitimately enjoy working out. It's tough, but fun. Just remember, lifting will put a lot of stress on your muscles, but if it actually hurts like you're describing then you're either lifting too much weight or not using good form.

>>134885

I heavily doubt you worked out on consistently for three years. And if you can't lift the bar, do machines and increase the weight every other week.

>>134890

>Do push-ups until you can bench the bar.

>If you can't lift a certain amount of weight, lift more than twice that amount.

>Do Starting Strength. Lift like an ant, eat like a horse, and sleep like a baby. And drink like a quarter gallon of milk a day if you have the slightest bit of trouble eating large amounts of food.

OP, don't do this shit. SS+GOMAD is fucking stupid.

>>134916

Sissy pushups for a sissy leaf.

>>134874

If you went to the gym for 3 years and still couldn't bench an empty bar, you must have been doing something critically wrong. I want to help you. Tell us what your routine was. Were you trying to lose weight or get strong? If you were trying to do both, that could explain your lack of progress. Did you eat a calorie surplus or deficit? Did you pay attention to your diet at all? Did you do a shit load of cardio?

>>134921

I'm close to 30 now, that was way too long ago to give any details, but I'll tell you what I can.

>Were you trying to lose weight or get strong?

I wasn't really *trying* to do anything, I was forced into it and did what my trainer told me.

>Did you eat a calorie surplus or deficit?

Of those two options, I'm guessing it was a deficit.

>Did you pay attention to your diet at all?

I wasn't specifically eating high protein if that's what you're asking.

>Did you do a shit load of cardio?

I did about half an hour each of cardio, lifting and swimming.

Several of you mentioned testosterone. What happens if I get mine tested and it's low? Can I get a prescription for a sex hormone if I'm not transgender?

And no, I don't eat soy, I prefer lentils and kidney beans.

You are a weak faggot without a fibre of fight in him.

>>134877

You didn't bleed enough. Actually bleed next time instead of imagining you are.

>>134888

It means you haven't experienced enough agony to taste its sweetness.

>>134922

This is a fun thread you made OP. A game for us to play. "What do we say to the rainbow lentilboy?" How fun.

You have to eat a whole raw onion every day until you are dying inside all the time. Then you can be born an ogre.

Instead of being, "forced into it", you must "power through it."

>>134875

>shoot a moose with a handgun

That's gay. You're supposed to shoot a bear with a crossbow and then get put into jail while Snow Mongols go around clubbing baby seals to death.

>>134916

Push-ups are easier, your feet are supporting part of the weight. It's not nearly the same as bench pressing your bodyweight. If you can't do a single push-up, you are extremely unfit.

>>134918

It's the most efficient way to get strong. Yeah, you'll have noodle arms and a gut, but you'll be strong and high test.

GOMAD is way excessive, that's why I said QOMAD (Quart of milk a day). When I have babies, I'll have my sons drink at least one glass of grass-fed milk every day, and the daughters will drink at least one glass of soy milk every day. They'll grow up big and strong (and thicc).

>>134922

>Several of you mentioned testosterone. What happens if I get mine tested and it's low?

Then you'll need to improve it. It will not only greatly affect your body, your performance in the gym, and your ability to gain. It will also have tremendous psychological effects on your motivation, mood, self-esteem, confidence, and attitude on things.

https://www.anabolicmen.com/

The most important things are to get a good night's sleep every night and to lift weights. Specifically, free weights, compound lifts, high intensity low rep. Avoid xenoestrogens- flax, soy, beer, plastics, fragrances, cosmetics… and like a million other things, but there's a few big ones that are reasonably within your control to minimize exposure to.

>>134941

>and the daughters will drink at least one glass of soy milk every day. They'll grow up big and strong (and thicc).

>literally prepping your daughters for Jamal's fetish

Kill yourself nigger

>>134941

Women shouldn't be getting more estrogen than they need.

>>134958

Only niggers/retards use ebonics, yes.

>>134941

Well I can't do a single push-up. I can't do half a push-up. I can't do a push-up on my knees. I can't do a push-up on a chair. I can't hold myself off the floor in the position of a push-up. There is no type of push-up I have ever been able to do.

>>134912

>I first started working out in college and I couldn't bench the bar at first either. I couldn't even squat an unloaded bar.

But did you ENJOY doing it? Did it feel GOOD to you in the moment?

I appreciate all the real answers to the question I actually asked in this thread. It must be the kind of feeling that can only be understood through experience.

>>134993

Can you do a wall push up? To answer your question again OP, yes I do enjoy lifting. It didn't feel great when I first started, but that's because I had bad form and very little idea as to what I was doing. Ultimately it doesn't matter whether you enjoy it. If you want to get stronger, then you're going to have to exercise.

>>134993

What do you do if you trip and fall down? Hit your necklace button and wait for Life Alert?

>>134993

>"I can't do a push up"

Just end your own suffering right now.

>>134874

>>134874

"But I have tried it. I went to a gym regularly when I was 15 to 18 years old. I couldn't bench an empty bar when I started, I couldn't bench an empty bar when I stopped three years later, and it felt like being stabbed with knives the whole time. It was never fun, there were no "beginner gains" for me, only pain. Do people ACTUALLY enjoy doing that, or is it sarcasm?"

Your attempt at trolling is so pathetic jesus christ

>>134934

He's a troll…

No canadian i've met on 4chan/8chan has ever been serious

Just report the thread

SAGE

>>134996

I roll onto my side and get my legs under me so I'm in a kneeling position, then easily get up using my legs. No, I will not draw a picture for you. Literally every person I've ever seen fall down in real life does the same thing.

>>134998

>>134999

I really want to know. Does it normally take longer than three years before working out begins to feel good?

>>134922

Alright, here's what you did wrong OP. You didn't eat enough. You don't get stronger unless you eat a surplus. If you didn't lose weight, which I assume you didn't since working out seems like such a waste of time to you, you ate too much. As for why you didn't enjoy it, it's probably because someone forced you into it instead of you setting your own goals.

>>134909

>The requirement for working at most retail stores is being able to lift a 50lb box.

I can lift a 50lb box while standing, I just can't BENCH PRESS or push forward with 50 pounds of force. Those are completely different motions that use different muscles.

>>135023

Regardless of lift, you should be able to lift 45 pounds (the bar). The only ones I wouldn't expect it right from the start are accessory shit like single-arm curls and deltoid raises. Benching is a compound lift that uses several muscle groups, which together, should be able to lift 45 pounds if you've gone through puberty. I took a fatass coworker to the gym who was SPHERICAL and had never done any work in his life. Just played video games and watched TV. He could bench 65.

>>135023

you should use thise meme-y resistance bands (the black ones) and do cable rows with those

also dumbbell bench press is good for beginners, provided you can mind your form

I was once a 110lb fentanyl zombie before I started lifting and couldn't OHP the bar, so I know your pain, but you gotta eat a surplus, get proteins, and work with what you got

>>135057

What are you trying to prove? I don't have access to gym equipment right now, but I just put a weight scale to a wall and pushed it as hard as I could. I barely got it to 80 pounds for a fraction of a second while bracing against another wall, with about 50 pounds being the most I can actually hold. That's all the evidence you're going to get. I'm not going to buy a gym subscription just to take a few precise measurements for the benefit of a single anonymous stranger who would think I'm lying anyway.

IT DOES NOT MATTER, BECAUSE MY QUESTION IS NOT "HOW MUCH WEIGHT CAN I LIFT?", IT IS "HOW MANY HOURS OF PAIN DO I NEED TO ENDURE BEFORE IT BECOMES PLEASURE?"

>>135067

"HOW MANY HOURS OF PAIN DO I NEED TO ENDURE BEFORE IT BECOMES PLEASURE"

Answer-0

If it isn't fun from the start, don't bother

quit being a faggot & fuck off

SAGE

>>135071

>says sage

>doesn't sage

saged

>>135072

lel. You got me

>>135067

Post a pic of your bicep op i want to see how skeletal you are. Pleasure comes from beating that set you thought you never could. So based on your bullshit story theoretically the first time you dont struggle with the bar should cause you to ejaculate with joy and the resulting loss of concentration will make you drop the bar on your neck and youll choke out because your too weak to do anything. Its a winwin really.

But since you only talk about bench and you did this for three years im calling troll from one fucking leaf to another

>>135074

>Pleasure comes from beating that set you thought you never could.

How long exactly would that take? I want it in writing. Make a falsifiable claim.

I didn't have fun progressing from a pair of dumbbells to a slightly larger pair, it was always a chore.

>>135153

>I don’t have fun progressing

That’s the motto of your fucking shitty 3rd world country. Fucking leafs.

>>135057

Jesus.

I'm not a regular lifter, but I find from time to time a creeping anxiety that doesn't go away unless I lift something. It's a chore but I always feel better after I do, so if you ever feel like a neurotic bitch you owe it to yourself to fix it.

>>135166

Sprinting has a better endorphin/seratonin boost than weight lifting. You should try sprinting and explosive lifts like box jumps, clapping push ups, etc. You'll get great results and feel better. Steady state cardio is also good for feeling better, health and longevity.

>>135174

Is there a routine you can suggest?

From previous experience, jogging usually feels like shit, and sprints make me want to vomit, but I can stick with anything if there’s a simple plan to follow.

>>134874

OP what is your height and build? like annorexic or something? many years ago i went to the gym for about a year, started at 1x30kg ended at 10x50kg or so, I have a skinny body time so its real hard

>>135207

I know what you're trying to do. All the "a fucking leaf" posters will post "a fucking [my height and build]" with overused reaction images no matter what I say. Don't ask for any further information about me.

How can anyone possibly know that I would enjoy lifting weights if I tried it, when I DID try it for three years and was miserable the whole time, and then say "well obviously you didn't do it long enough"? That's like saying you know there's an oil well under my back yard and I just need to keep digging deeper and deeper in spite of all evidence to the contrary. How do you know that?

>>135058

>also dumbbell bench press is good for beginners

I own dumbbells but I don't own a bench. Do I need to buy a bench? I'm not spending any money until I start to enjoy lifting weights.

I can't believe you're still here still bitching you fucking leaf. We're not gonna convince you because you don't want to be convinced, and you're a weak little bitch who doesn't WANT to improve. Weak physically, and weak mentally. You might argue this, but the only way to prove me wrong is to shut the fuck up, let this thread die, and go make something of your pathetic self. You can lift, you just don't want to and convince yourself you can't because it's easier than doing it. You sound exactly like every fatty who claims they don't work out because it'll do more harm than good. You're wrong, everything you believe is wrong, it's up to you to change yourself, and you won't find anyone here willing to subscribe to your little pity party. We'll just laugh at you for being an obvious soyboy. If you can't improve the amount you lift, it's because you're not trying hard enough. Unless you literally collapse from exhaustion and vomit all over the floor, and you're unable to stand up again for minutes, you haven't tried your hardest. If you don't enjoy working out, you have to deal with that, but don't pretend like you're completely incapable and then ask us to solve your problems.

>>135505

You don't need a bench, but it improves your range of motion which is better. You can improvise something, like a couch or a chair maybe.

>>135514

Also this. Nobody can make you be great, nobody can do it for you. And if you fail, it's nobody's fault but your own. Just because you don't enjoy it doesn't mean it isn't worth doing. Hedonism is for weaklings.

>>135514

I don't remember disagreeing with any of that so whatever. I didn't even say I'm incapable of progressing, as I said here >>135153 I progressed from a pair of dumbbells to a slightly larger pair. I said it took three years with a personal trainer to do, as opposed to the "beginner gains" I heard about where it's a much larger and faster improvement. Was my trainer just not very good? I did everything he told me.

>>135515

What, like a dining room chair? How can I lie down on that? Aren't I supposed to have my elbows off to the sides, dipping under the bench? It seems like the backrest of the chair would get in the way.

Sorry I'm overstaying my welcome, but if it turns out I have everything I need without literally going to a gym, that's a lot less daunting to give it another shot.

>>135505

just lay on the floor. is better than a bench.

It took me three years with a personal trainer to progress from bench press 30 pounds to 40 pounds, instead of the common "beginner gains" result of getting to 100 pounds in three months. I certainly believed I was trying my hardest at the time, but apparently I was doing something wrong by your standard, and my personal trainer never explained what I should have been doing in a way that I could understand.

When I did my little test with a weight scale on a wall a few days ago, apparently I wasn't trying my hardest by your standard that time either, yet I honestly wanted to know how much I can push and was a bit angry too, it really didn't feel like I was holding back some hidden extra strength or anything.

The only way that makes sense to me is if I literally don't know how to try my hardest by your standard, like a video game character with some overpowered combo attack that requires a specific input I never learned.

>Use your Gomu Gomu No Kamehameha Hokuto No Jutsu!

>What is that and how do I make it happen?

>Just do it! Just try!

>Uh, is this it?

>No! You're not trying!

>I'm pressing buttons. What's the correct input?

>Just try harder! It's so fucking easy!

>Okay, is this how you do it?

>No! Just do it!

>>135526

God he's so disgusting

>>135572

Just try to glitch the game. You know where the weak points are, right? Find the glitchy collision data and button combinations faggot.

In all seriousness, eat onions, eat more calories than you usually do (add 500 calories than normal), and do 100 reps with a weight you can do 120 reps of. Do a horizontal push, pull, a vertical (upward) push, pull, a vertical (downward) push, pull, straight up squats, leg curls, leg lifts, farmer's carries, and hold a weight up with your finger (each individually) palm down. Oh, and core. Sit ups and planks.

Legs and farmer's walks, finger lift on one day;

Horizontal push/pull and core work on another day;

and the two vertical push/pulls on the third day.

Workout 3x a week, then, after a month, 4x a week where you do power yoga on the fourth day for 20 minutes. After another month, change the weights and reps to 2 sets of 50 reps, of a weight you can do 65 reps of. After another month, workout 6x a week and do the yoga on the 7th day. After another month, switch to 3 x 25 reps of a weight you can do 35 of. After another month, do 5 x 12 of a weight you can do 20 reps of.

You can change the exercises for progressions (knee push ups vs regular push ups) which you could call 'weight'. After these 7 months, start adding accessory exercises to round out your workout. Look up calisthenic progressions.

>>135572

No one can teach you how to breath either. But I gotchu: Imagine yourself on fire all the time. Try to feel like you're on fire. Just, pain and agony and all that. On fire. 24/7. Breath fire, blood boiling, eyes popping, flaring up. If you stop feeling like you're being set on fire, reset yourself on fire. That's the Gomu Gomu No Kamehameha Hokuto No Jutsu. The final form is to actually set yourself on fire.

>>135579

There's a point to where the patheticness of being retarded and pretending to be retarded converge, and the OP has long since reached that point. If he's trolling anyone, it's himself.

The only ones who have been conned are the guys trying to give practical advice. He's not going to listen to your sick beginner routine because he wants to pretend he doesn't know how, which gives him a valid excuse not to try. It's all mindset and our beloved OP has the mind of a child in the throes of a temper tantrum.