So my arsehole is all ripped up due to taking a ~~dick~~ monster shit. Every time I shit, the fissures get opened more and more. So in the name of my sphincter I must cease and desist all shitting until such time as my arse no longer looks like I got bugge

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/fit/izen 09/07/17 (Thu) 05:30:40 No.127080

So my arsehole is all ripped up due to taking a ~~dick~~ monster shit. Every time I shit, the fissures get opened more and more. So in the name of my sphincter I must cease and desist all shitting until such time as my arse no longer looks like I got buggered by a cactus.

What sort of diet would you recommend that would meet all my nutritional needs while producing little to no excrement? If I go on an MRE diet, I'll have more time to heal but obviously the massive log that comes out will send me back to before square 1. But if I go on a high fibre diet that is still no good either because frequent, large shits still won't let me heal no matter how soft they are.

/fit/izen 09/07/17 (Thu) 05:37:30 No.127081

Drink juice.

/fit/izen 09/07/17 (Thu) 08:32:29 No.127084

>>127080

Been having the same problem. Had been taking shits that were too large, and eating bad, for too long.

Bump for relevant thread.

/fit/izen 09/07/17 (Thu) 09:41:43 No.127085

Have you tried living off of almost-expired dairy?

/fit/izen 09/07/17 (Thu) 14:17:48 No.127091

File: dca302456a89693⋯.webm (69.01 KB, 480x270, 16:9, mindblown5.webm)

>>127080

>So in the name of my sphincter I must cease and desist all shitting

you cannot simply cease defecation….

what the fuck where you even eating to fuck up so bad?

/fit/izen 09/10/17 (Sun) 07:46:00 No.127209

The only way you are going to heal is with soft, watery shits. High fiber is the way to go, maybe combined with a low calorie diet as well. Consider fasting for a couple days if it's really bad.

/fit/izen 09/10/17 (Sun) 20:28:42 No.127215

Opiates are your friend.

/fit/izen 09/11/17 (Mon) 00:23:46 No.127216

>>127215

and when he finally does shit, he'll be back to the proverbial square 1 again, retard

plus dehydrating his intestines isn't going to help him heal

/fit/izen 09/11/17 (Mon) 19:04:17 No.127231

>>127216

Please, do not attempt to write English you son of a crack whore.

I guess no chance of a Florida hurricane raising the average IQ half a point with you around.

/fit/izen 09/11/17 (Mon) 21:30:33 No.127236

>>127080

Try replacing most food with fluids and supplements sold in liquid form.

Also, visit a fucking doctor and get an opinion.

/fit/izen 09/12/17 (Tue) 05:06:41 No.127246

Anorexia

/fit/izen 09/12/17 (Tue) 17:07:57 No.127259

Go see a doctor retard

/fit/izen 09/13/17 (Wed) 14:15:44 No.127277

I had this happen to me to m8. I ate Subway (eat fresh) every day for lunch for 2 months. My shitting started to go from once a day to maybe 3 times a week. Each log was a coke sized cactus of pain. I bled more from hemorrhoids forming and popping than any wound I ever had. I completely cut Subway (eat fresh) from my diet. That was 2 years ago, my anus is finally healed and I have pleasant shits. Every now and then a big one will cause discomfort.

I say all that to tell you, eat better and it will heal over time with no problem.

/fit/izen 09/18/17 (Mon) 14:20:26 No.127377

File: a5b5e5c8a4376d7⋯.jpg (29.09 KB, 500x300, 5:3, yOu_CanNOt_SiMplY_CEaSe_De….jpg)

OP here. (Proxyfag)

My arsehole is healed! I just drank more milk and ate less solid food, and refused to shit for a couple of days, and now the rips have healed. Also drank lots of callendula tea.

Always believe in yourself. Don't ever let anybody tell you you can't do something. I used to shit daily, and now I shit only every 4 days and my arsehole is not covered in rips and nasty scabs.

>>127091

Lots of meat, not much vegetables, no fruit and a whole lot of impatience.

>>127259

>>127236

Doctors are for pussies. Real men stick callendula flowers up their butts.

/fit/izen 12/04/17 (Mon) 15:05:38 No.130068

go vegan xD

don't be le meatcuck