OP here, to answer my own question. I've found dominant women. We did match sexually, but we had problems in other areas. My ex destroyed my heart and I'm still trying to recover from that. It's difficult to find a dominant woman. It's even more difficult to find a dominant woman that you can be in a relationship with.
And so. What's stopping me? My insecurities and (if that's a reason) lack of women that Ι can match with.
Oh, and a lot of women in the bdsm "scene", in my experience, are non-monogamous. Which is something that doesn't work for me.