From 2015 until about a year ago I used to do some internet stuff. It was not some retarded youtube challange channel, but something that actually helped people and I was quite popular.
Over the 3 years I prioritized this work over everything else, resulting me dropping out of the best university in my country, which I didn't really mind. I hated the atmosphere, the mindset, the city, and I never learned how to learn from a book, so despite getting in without any effort I never found my place there. I also had a business with a friend.
For a time things went fine, and then I met a girl who turned out to be an ex-alcoholic despite her age(19), but after about 8 months dating she started drinking again with her new friends from college.
Thanks to this I became overly stressed, couldn't sleep properly and physical health problems showed up until we broke up. Because of this I was constantly late with my part of the work and was thrown out of the business.
In the end I was fed up with everything and when they wiped all my social media accounts I just stopped with the internet stuff, despite having tens of thousands views every week.
But ever since then my life is basically empty. Sometimes I feel like my mind is just a blank slate and can't think about anything. I tried to find some hobby or something that would keep me occupied, but the only thing I ever really enjoyed besides this was military stuff. So I applied to the military academy, but due to some administrative crap I was accepted back to law school and I can't reapply anymore because I'm over the age limit now.
I feel like I've stuck in the past and everything and everybody goes by. I see my friends slowly becoming normies busy with their day-to-day lives.
When I hear a song or walk by a place from that time memories pop up in my brain, sometimes even the silhouette of a tree in the sunset is enough.
I feel like a slave of the past, nostalgic for a time that never comes back, and I don't know how to get out of this state.