You were put up for adoption as a child? Just be glad you had parents.
You're short and have trouble with girls? Just find less superficial women.
Your hometown is a third world country now? Just learn Spanish.
Your mom never told you she loved you growing up? Just read this booklet.
You can't find a nice white woman? Just marry an asian.
You were left in crack houses for half your childhood? Just realize that I can't relate and won't be talking to you anymore.
You got robbed multiple times by niggers? Just move to a better neighborhood.
Your mom didn't breastfeed and smoked during pregnancy? Just be glad you weren't born in Africa.
You never made white friends because you were raised in the ghetto? Just reconnect with your old hispanic friends.
You were raised by videogames and have no social skills? Just drink to loosen up.
You can't afford a house where you live? Just move to another state.
You were beaten and malnourished as a child? Just don't do that to your children.
You were molested by your father? Just see a psychologist.
Your girlfriend cheated on you? Just make her feel more wanted next time.
You were circumcised and lost sensation? Just deal with it everyone gets circumcised.
You've got trust issues and getting money made it worse? Just hide your success.
You can't find any young chaste women? Just date 30 year olds and single mothers.
You can never use your arm again? Just be glad you can still walk.
Your depression is alienating people? Just be positive.