I spend my day locked up in a basement. No one haves put a lock on the door. I can go up when ever I want but I'm still locked down here with no way out. The atmosphere is unwelcoming and aggressive. I only go up there to eat and water. I'm an animal in a zoo. I know how they feel. All I can do is sit and wait for food. Sit and wait. All I can do. I'm like an animal in a zoo. That's all they can do. These white walls, they are my bars but the white walls are only in this room. The rest of the basement is wooded bars lined up like steel prison bars. To add to this, it's worst for my nonverbal autistic brother. I'm glad that he will be living with my mom, soon.
How did things get this way? Me. I got me and brother here. I did it. But how? In my freshmen year I would lie, a lot. I don't any more but because of that one year of life, my step mom has made me the devil: I'm the devil, I am a Jeffrey Dahmer, I am a Ted Bundy, I am a John Wayne Gacy, I am a psychopathy, a sadist, I have been moving all of the pieces in this game to ruin her life. That is the word she lives in. I don't hate her. I don't really know her. She thinks I want her dead "He's dangerous". I don't but we live in different worlds. In her's I'm introverted, a psychopathy, socially inept, hateful, addicted to social media and porn. In my world I'm the opposite (except for porn). Now look at how she sees me. Why would give that person any respect? For what ever reason she did. She had it in her head that she could fix me. I was introverted, I has socially inept, I was addicted to social media and porn. Nothing she did worked. I end up fixing my self. I grown an interests in philosophy, I also find people like Varg, The Golden One, Survive The Jive and The World Tree. I end up taking there pagan philosophy of self improvement along with Nietzsche's idea of the superman to heart. I want to be better then I am now.
I do this. I delete all of my social media, start working out, talking to people more, try to quit porn (still need to do that), reading philosophy and things like that. Thing are good at lest over the summer but as soon as the school year starts all of her ideas of me being the devil come back. She starts to say that I did and that but I never did any of it. I know I didn't do anything but sometimes in the back of my mind I think "What if I did? What if I'm wrong?".
This is how me and my brother ended up being locked down here.
I just felt I need to get my feelings out there.