I'm in my early 30s and the last 10 years or so have been a blur for me. I can't recall anything major happening in the last decade. Even my degree doesn't feel "major". I lost the ability to feel anything positive.
I can't recall feeling joy in the last decade and I'm not sure I ever did. I could go back to high school and not feel weird about it. I feel like I took a time machine and traveled 10ish years into the future. I keep listening to the same old music, replaying the same vidyas again, and again, and again…
I feel like an old person in a nursing home unable to do anything with their life (I certainly have the physical fitness of a 70-years old), listening to the same old vinyls, watching the same old TV shows, telling the same childhood stories to bored and overworked nurses again, and again, and again, the only day to day variation in my life coming from newspapers crosswords.
Replace vinyls with youtube videos, TV shows with vidyas, and crosswords with whatever shitposting happens, and you have my life.
I'm stuck in a fucking time loop.