/cyoa/ - Choose Your Own Adventure

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Conduit#Fan-worlds

Building least conduits is at least as much fun as building a proper conduit. The power fantasy is diminished but still strong and it's done quicker. Not being able to choose everything from a single world is also nice, makes it feel a bit like a standard CYOA.

>tfw thrallherd is dead

>>1198

>thrallherd is dead

Wait, what? Sourceplz?

>>1229

yesterday, a month ago

>>1230

ups.

>>1245

Nice!

And now for the criticism: The prose could use some polishing, and there's a few grammatical errors.

I think the font is a few sizes too large and I don't much like the typeface. The backgrounds are rather dull and honestly a little annoying (maybe tone down the saturation and brightness) plus they make some of the titles/headings hard to read - could use black outlines.

The Pictures could also use some frames, like the waifu/husbando charts or fade-in around the borders like the world charts.

And shouldn't you get extra points for choosing a nemesis in the first place, or some other kind of advantage/reason for choosing one in the first place? How about a reward (besides survival) for defeating the enemy?

Do you plan to make a male-rival chart, too?

>>1281

It's hard to think of an in-universe justification for why a nemesis would give you points.

>>1282

Well, something is better than nothing. Add some points for taking a nemesis and add a justification later. I mean, what's the justification for buying drawbacks like Unwelcome Guest?

How about a wizard gives you the points in return for becoming a enemy of (one or more of) their enemies?

>>1284

Much easier on the eyes.

By the way, doesn't Earth count as an Extra World that these nemeses would have to spend the points on to connect to?

>>1284

>This particular one

Should you really only be able to choose one?

>sacred trees that she protects with her life and the nature of her ritual hunt

how does that work?

>someone dear to you, in the last decade nobody has ever been able to tell her no.

Should be a period instead of a comma.

>Capital of Crucible

I think it's the only city in Crucible.

>her private fortress, your way will be blocked

Again, clunky prose, and I don't think it's grammatically correct. Either period instead of the comma, or add an "and" after the comma.

>leutenants, normal mortals

lieutenants: normal mortals

>citizenry of Crucible, she is

citizenry of Crucible: she is

>champion but

champion, but

>a new empire outpost

imperial outpost, or "Empire outpost" if I'm overlooking something here. Also, period instead of comma.

>but she needs to destroy it

Well, it's more a case of your home getting smashed in the process of establishing that outpost. Unless she's going to destroy your home before she sends the monolith, which she wouldn't have to. It's all a bit unclear. Just rephrase that sentence.

>about a week, better"

Semi-colon instead of the comma.

>force her to reconsider

Clunky, too many "to's". "make her reconsider"

>the Empress' weakness

Fun fact: The possessive form of the noun empress is empress's

>territory, you

territory. You

>will need to

will have to

>huge colony

How huge is that? Are we talking a city-state or a small country? A large country? No numbers necessary, but a bit more description would be nice. Just nitpicking.

>rune-enchanted weapons there.

Delete "there". Unnecessary.

I'm going to take a break here.

>>1287

>By the way, doesn't Earth count as an Extra World that these nemeses would have to spend the points on to connect to?

>>256

>You are a conduit, a connection between the Earth you know and another World.

You don't need to buy the ability to connect to earth, you start on earth. You're already creating bridges to earth from the other world by creating bridges to there.

It also mentions you being able to earn points on earth before breaching the topic of the Extra World Perk.

I have held this as canon for a long time and nobody has ever corrected me.

HE LIVES!!!

http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/username/Thrallherd/

>>1295

The Monster

Good introduction. Funny. Not Haha funny, but amusing.

>snake minions, they're kitted

snake minions. They're kitted

or, probably better

snake minions, which are all kitted

>>1295

Pirate Queen

>where it is and she will use

Honestly, I'm not sure if there needs to be a comma after "is". Kinda sounds like it, but it seems like such a small issue that even I can't be bothered looking up the comma rules.

>of course, the treasure, get to it first

the treasure: Get to it first

>>1316

>Voting for Bevin

why? what's so interesting about it?

I want to see the bleak fields.

So he's going in quite a different direction on some points with this. It could be really good or it could be a disaster, the only way to find out is to wait. It adds to the anticipation.

>>1319

[that guy]

Honestly, it was my first and long-time favorite. Had some serious NEET and hikikomori problems.

>>1320

I can see why it would be an attractive choice but why are you so curious about what it'll look like in the new format?

I can't imagine it'll be very different. For the some worlds he teased about added content and worldbuilding.

>>1321

Oh, I didn't vote. Frankly, I'm fine with seeing whatever he comes up with in whatever order.

Am I reading this wrong, or is becoming a Meister of a Bevin a way to guarantee immortality with no drawbacks? You are reborn instantly, in a place no-one can access without your permission, and can regain your memories as soon as you want as long as you do it within twenty four hours. None of the other methods of immortality are totally secure, and most of the Meister perks seem a little lacklustre by comparison.

>>1354

Well, a sufficiently powerful / organized enemy can still break your spirit, mind-control you, or knock you out and put you in an induced coma.

>>1356

[cont.]

But yeah, you could just stay inside your Bevin forever, if that's enough for you.

>>1356

>>1357

You get immunity to mind-control/breaking, and you can choose to not regain your memories if it's really bad. The coma/imprisonment thing would work. You don't need to stay in the Bevin for the resurrection to work, so you can continue exploring the multiverse almost completely risk-free.

>>1357

>>1356

Bevin also has an in-build protection against mindfucker-y and traumatic experiences before death.

You are exactly as you were when you last touched the egg.

Bevin in many ways is about supreme security and comfort.

It's a very popular world.

In my opinion it could stand to have some drawbacks. You already don't get offensive or controlling powers from Bevin but you can get those somewhere else and combine them with perfect immortality, it should leave a weakness or discomfort somewhere like the others do.

>>1423

Well, Pit-Zot and Arcadia already have the prophesies, predictions and precognitions covered, but I suppose you could have dreams about stuff besides the future. Like, dreams about stuff happening far away or in different worlds, dreams that grant knowledge about academic subjects, or dreams that give other kinds of information. That would be for the gate of horn. The Ivory gate would thematically work well with mesmerize and conjure, so I suppose you could work it in there or make it a power-up to the illusions - such as illusions you don't have to maintain yourself, and/or that activate under particular conditions. Although, that would kinda overlap with Pit-Zot.

>>1423

Oh, and could you be more specific about what powers Crown bestows on individuals? Conduit is rarely vague about how powers work, and I really like that about it. Deep Dark is the worst with it.

>>1428

No, Arcadia is the worst with it.

Unless the potion power should be interpreted as if giving literally any thinkable effect.

I think I'll narrow down aristocrat abilities to increased strength and constitution and summonable weapons.

Man, Bevin is ultimate comfy.

>get Bevin mastery

>ink-stained fingers are rad as fuck

>become known about friends and family as esoteric scribe/somewhat hermit

>one day come with inkfingers, people ask questions, "oh no, it's a long story, can't explain"

>get books in languages no man knows, show them to friends, rad as fuck

>immortality lets you study a lot

>learn surveying, cartograph alien worlds

>learn linguistics, start to decipher tongues of ancient ones

>go to work 9-to-5, after work explore multiverse with total safety

>fridays are introspection day, though

>not even work for the money, servants take care of food, just for the being with people

>wanna go for a coffee? no problem, close your eyes *teleports with her to comfy home* open them!

>gateway books mean no commute time, can have a top n Earth places I like and go anywhere.

>or n worlds anywhere

>comfypost on *chan with comfytablet

>publish new findings of new creatures on bevinchan

>write books on creatures and worlds unknown

>be ultimate librarian

>become ultimate comfyguy for friends and all

>ink-stained fingers are a plus

>>256

Rim (20)

Extra world:spire (18)

Sands of time (17)

Crystal Spire:

Crystal Hallways (16)

Lesser Spire (15)

Quartzic Sentience (14)

Take to the sky (12)

Rim:

Binding (11)

Biome Adaptation (10)

Overseer Fortress (8)

Rebirth Tanks (6)

Earth:

Easy Passage (2)

Extra world: Bevin (2)

Keys to the Kingdom (1)

Infusion (0)

>"A drink? Sure! Been a while since I had one. You're a reporter right? Well you're in luck. Most people here can't tell you anything - all the tech companies made them sign NDA's - but I work directly for the Tribune and he doesn't care about such things. Get me a beer and I'll tell you a story."

>"The thing you have to keep in mind is, the time dilation rumors are very real. Here on earth, it's been a month since this all happened. To those of us who went in the first wave, it's been four years. We've had a lot more time to process what's happening, it's no longer strange to us. I mean it's strange of course, but - you know what I mean.

>Yes, I was with the original crew. You've probably seen the ads that circulated in the maker spaces in week one. "Innovators wanted to build a postindustrial colony. One year contract, travel and hazard pay are covered but bring your own tools". I thought it was in Africa or something. Or a scam. But I guess the headhunter liked what I told her, and a few days later I was flying to Saskatchewan with half an electronics store in my carryon. A few hours after that, I was standing in the middle of a hayfield holding hands with a cuban carrying a beehive on his back and a Russian wearing a red beret and a the longest thousand yard stare you'll ever see"

>Not sure why the holding hands actually. The tribune needs it to transport us. That's what he did then - pulled us to Rim, and immediately we were surrounded by a mob of serfs, chattering at us and looking very disorganized as they loaded our luggage on their Triceratops-Travois. I remember the Russian guy - Dmitri - he didn't like it at all when they tried to take his rifle. to be fair, I felt ready to panic myself, your world turns upside down like that and you kind of have to think, 'what the hell did I get myself into'? But once we got sorted it was all right. We took turns riding the travois or jogging alongside the Tricerati and kept moving like that 'till evening, and… it's hard to explain. There's an urgency on this side that you notice almost immediately when it's gone. The physical exercise, the grandeur of the landscape, the cheerfulness of the serfs… We were pretty exhausted by the time we stopped for the night, but it was the good kind, you know?

>The tech companies came in week two, once we had some basics up and running. Set up their own labs and started going. I'm not sure what you've heard about them, but I know everyone slows down in the first little while that they're over there. re-prioritizes you know? The conversion rate is about 'one week is one year', but I think a lab working here for three years would do a lot more than they've done. They like to say 'real research takes time' there now. I guess when you're sending reports once a year to a boss who's had a week pass, you can afford to take your time. I've certainly been doing that. The Serfs can't use technology - probably ever - but they have these crystals that I swear could pass a turing test, and the stuff I'm doing with communication networks… Well, sometimes slow and steady really is better. It's hard to describe to someone feeling this world's sense of urgency.

>Well, if you're that curious, why not come along? If you write a positive book or series of articles that encourage new recruits, I'm sure the Tribune would be happy to have you for a year. Why not ask when the return ritual comes this evening? You could be back by next week…

>>2430

You should put this story on the wiki

>>2449

There's a wiki? I love to fanfic my conduit build. do you have a link?

>>2451

https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Conduit