Thanks, Space Niggers!
Free Abilities
Human 2.0 - Gets rid of my excessive mucosal production and strong dislike of warm temperatures, to some extent.
Immortality - Just increases my lifespan to a great extent.
Immunity, Upgraded - Increases my already high tolerance to poisoning and disease to superhuman levels.
Abilities
>Zenith
Peak human performance and aptitude.
<Body
Consumate material strength boost. Very durable, inhumanly strong.
>Anthropomorph
Neanderthal, Paranthropus, Austrolopithicus, the Lowland Gorilla, Bili Apes. Not one species, but many of our cousins. My chosen form is a fusion of modern man (alien tampering withstanding) and the very best of our simian cousins. A Kong in the broadest sense: insulated by fur, agile like a great climbing chimp, sturdy and powerful like the gorilla, wide-boned and brutally tenacious like prehistoric man. Able to fully descend into a quadrupedal great ape form, or return fully to humankind, often somewhere in the uncanny valley of primordial man.
>Energy Storage
A more efficient, less physical form of caloric storage. Instead of forming and filling fat cells, I just have…energy. Not sure how this works, but it allows a broad range of self-sustenance and power.
<Efficiency
Better digestion to take lots of nutrients. My shit literally doesn't stink anymore.
<Absorbtion
Passively gain power from sources other than food, IE electricity, solar radiation, warmth, light, kinetic forces, magnetism, microwaves.
>Regeneration, Tier 3
Think 'The Wolverine' of Marvel comics. Instantly recouperate from almost any physical damage, with no loss in overall mass. Can use stored energy, or cause sudden fatigue. More effective when at rest.
>Ectokinesis
Form telekinetic motion, blasts of force or vibration.
<Field Control
Control other types of energy. Heat, light, radiation. Control enhancement allows for sustained fields and varied effects, not just blasts and waves.
<Enhanced range and ease of use- allows any type of energy to be cast as a long-range bolt.
Items
>Old Van
Camper/Transport based on an earthly late 50's Volkswagen eurobus in appearance. Only responds to me (Some kind of DNA recognition system). Has universal power plugs and runs on thermal energy.
>USS HUB
Similar to the van's appliance support, connects and powers any corded machine. Insane capacity, rapid solar charge, incredible power output
>Tentacle Brush
Infinite bar of super soap, that is also a space smartphone that can connect to any electronic device, emulate any hardware or software, and do just about anything any other smartphone could do, but much better. Virtually indestructable.
>Tool Belt
Anti-gravity bandolier/belt that allows flight, wall-walking, and levitation. Can store around 40 lbs of nonorganic matter as a dematerialized amalgum, and retrieve them in working order at any time, functioning as a super-compact packing tool. Recharges using heat; Totally impervious to damage.
Drawbacks
>Rush job
Slight physical deformity. Still passably human, but look and smell as if unnatural. Visible scarring and warped form.
>Hyperdrive
Superpowered libido.
>Powder Keg
Increased emotional response, especially anger and aggression. Possibly an enlarged limbic system. Results in normally managable anger becoming downright violent and uncontrollable.
Challenges
>Documented
Secret societies now recieve word of my abilities and whereabouts.
>Drama pact
I agree to keep the aliens entertained. Might just recycle skits from Always Sunny, or do everything on the list.
(list: http://skippyslist.com/list/)
Think I'll join A.Shud and start my life as a nigh-unkillable gun for hire who can break your neck and fry your balls with my brain.