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File: e1a2ce06b673ddd⋯.jpg (79.25 KB,674x859,674:859,70ed22ad76f0b5798b818c5855….jpg)

 No.413272

I think I just kinda-maybe-perhaps went through a break-up. Not entirely sure though, it's all kind of weird.

Anyway, we've been dating for a couple of months and we're madly in love with each other. Or so I would have thougt at any given time. Think of the most sweet kind of boy both physically and emotionally you can imagine. That's him. He would get sad and depressed if I didn't tell him daily I loved him (A request a gladly followed through). Looking back at it, making out with him for hours, no sex involved, were probably the best times of my life. I'm tearing up right now just thinking about the times we had together.

We live like an hour apart but that's sort of whatever. We still manage to see each other whenever we had the time to.

Then, on a Thursday, he wants to meet up at my place but he just doesn't show up, only texting me hours into the day telling me he'll call me as soon as he has the time to. I might wanna add that we didn't get to meet up that week thus far due to some legal issues he had so I was already mildly disappointed at that time but what can you do.

Well anyway, he doesn't call back and neither does he answer any of my text messages. Complete silence for the next days and I'm starting to shift from disappointed to concerned and then to utter confusion when I see him post on social media perfectly at ease with himself, acting if there's nothing out of the ordinary. So he's very much not dead and obviously has access to a device connecting him to the internet.

Not a word. I could visibly see him answering back at people so there's no way this is some freak accident. I start losing it even trying to contact him through his neighbor just to solicit any, really any, type of response from him. Very intrusive behavior of myself looking back at it but I'm just downright unhinged at this point. I start messaging him from different account and he ignores me just the same, eventually even blocking me completely.

Ultimately though he does respond to me after acting as if I didn't exist for next to a whole week. He tells me he doesn't feel like he's ready for or really in need of a relationship at this point. Disheartening and obviously not the type of answer I was hoping for but at least it's something and he was kind of flip-flopping anyhow. The "relationship" then goes somewhat back to being normal with him actually responding to me although he did want me to only talk to him through one messenger instead of another. Really weird but whatever. Tells me he still loves me though and sounds genuinely sorry for what he put me through. We agree to meet up the next week. I purposely did not inquire about his thoughts and feelings during this time about our would-be relationship since I highly suspected it would be just to emotional for him the way I know him but I planned to bring this up next time I saw him.

Guess what, he didn't show up but instead ghosted me the day before and then told me he was perfectly able and willing to just ignore when I tried to contact him again through a different account (it was obvious to me he blocked me again). No reason as to why given. To add insult to injury, this happend the day before my birthday.

I don't think I've ever been this depressed, slept and ate so little as in this week and I swear to myself not contact him this time around since the last time I tried being obnoxious about it, it probably didn't make things any better. But I'm weak and do so on my birthday and he actually congratulates me the next day. I know it's cheesy but to know he still, to some capacity, is willing to acknowledge my existence did enable me to resume a sustainable sleeping and eating pattern again.

I was able not trying to contact him for the next two weeks before I finally gave in.

____________________________
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 No.413273

He's still on about this whole relationship thing which just absolutely terrifies him just thinking about it. He's behaving in such as a way as if I was downright threatening him with it. Also, he moved places (by no means prohibitively far away, it just adds another half an hour or so in terms of mileage travelled) and works a new job. The reason he gave for not wanting to be in a relationship (no relationship with anyone period) was that he wants to spend the rest of the year and especially sumer carefree and with no obligations. He was afraid of telling me this because he feared I might hate him for that.

At this point, I just wanna see him again but apparently even holding hands is off-limits now because he ghosts me yet-a-fucking-gain but does respond back eventually as he did in the past but in a really abrasive, really confused kind of way. He's uncertain of wanting to meet me because he might hurt me and I myself this way.

I tell him in a relly long-winded and elaborate answert how I don't even care about being in a relationship at this point anymore, how I just wanna see him again and why I'm fine with the caveats he has and how I'm willing to put myself at risk of being hurt again.

He answers back with asking me if I was ok with being a normal friend. I give him a short "yes" as an answer but admittedly only to establish more of a willingness in him just to communicate with me somehow because really, I'm not. I change my mind to "I can't tell" as soon as I can and tell him so. This was last week and the whole question is sort of in limbo right now. He started somewhat normally talking back to me as soon as I formally went ok with a friendship and still does but it's just weird. He's being very passive, answering back infrequently although he's being apologetic. We only talk about superficial stuff like our respecitve work, his skin care routine and his stupid work-out program that's bound to fail because he's constantly both under-eating and over-training at the same time. I have again purposely avoided bringing up the topic of our relationship as to just not antagonize him in any sort of way and even told him so.

We wanna meet up next week again, possibly this week end and I absolutely wanna talk with him about the whole situation.

The last weeks have been a proverbial emotional roller coaster for me. I have never cried this much in my entire life and I've never been this frustrated. I've also felt angry and just downright insulted, culminating in fantasies of actual violence. He has treated me the way you might treat e-beggars and people who send you unsolicited dick pics on hook-up platforms, broken several promises he willingly me and really just abused me, no other words for it sadly.

The worst thing about all of this is that I still love him and could not be angry about any of this at him if he were to tell me he still loved me too. I don't even need to be in a relationship to be in love but I cannot live with no affection from him. Mere companionship falls short of that. I maybe not perfectly willing but willing nontheless to just put the whole thing on pause and try to build up the mutual trust and affection again so that we may continue where we left off because even though I just said I still love him, something I really cannot lie to myself about this even though I actively tried, this whole situation did make me think different about him Maybe taking a step back isn't such a wrong idea after all but I refuse to be friendzoned like this.

I don't think I was actually friendzoned to begin with. I'm being as cool-headed and non-delusional as I can be and I've really really thought about this. To me, this "offer" was more of a cop-out, rather than a genuine alternative for him. He wanted to buy time and peace with it because here's what you need to know about him:

He was still cutting himself last time we met (we're both in our mid 20s btw)

He was sexually assaulted in his teens

He didn't come clean about these things with his last and only boyfriend for several years. He would refuse to even be touched for several weeks when they were still together and he hurt him terribly with his behavior from what I could gather. He even told me before this whole situation that he would be anxious of entering into a relationship ever again because of how sad he felt what he made his bf put up with.

So my question here is: How do I best go about not fucking this up? I don't want a to agree to his proposition of "being a friend" and I obviously don't want to maneuver him into a position that might make him feel more uncomfortable than it absolutely need to be. I'm fine with a sorta hiatus but I absolutely wanna go back to where things were when we last met eventually. Or at least I want him to be in a scenario where he could realistically think about go to the way things were.

I have a good week to come up with something to help me turn this around. Please do contribute.

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 No.413281

>>413272

It is no use. He already got over you, and wants someone better than you. He probably already found that person, and want to move away from you completely, so he can enjoy the good (and better than yours) time with that person.

That is what happens when you aren't completely submissive and also don't keep your good looks inpecable all the time. People will tire of you, and move on to better partners.

This advice works the same way for women (if there are any girls reading).

Be a complete submissive and always pretty tool for your partner to use when HE wants to, and never complain. Or else, you will be discarded. There are plenty of people around the world. A man will always have an infinite number of options for relationships. So don't fuck up when you are chosen by one. Work as intended, or be replaced.

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 No.413283

mucho texto,

No lo lei, amigo

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 No.413294

>>413281

>This advice works the same way for women (if there are any girls reading).

Be a complete submissive and always pretty tool for your partner to use when HE wants to, and never complain. Or else, you will be discarded. There are plenty of people around the world. A man will always have an infinite number of options for relationships. So don't fuck up when you are chosen by one. Work as intended, or be replaced.

No, it's the other way around. Western women don't wanna play fair. Especially with sex. Most girls are fucking around on Insta or Snapchat trying out new "bad bitch" fads, posting godawful inspirational quotes, despite the fact they're stuck in the same place from last year, they have no real career interests. (Yes, women are beating men in academia, but have you noticed most of the classes women are taking? They're "easy classes". There's still no female students taking trades, despitethe fact they're being advertised. Western girls don't wanna use elbow grease. They just wanna network and see what new catch they find. They can't even run front counters properly. Useless spoiled divas. Wanna charge an arm and leg for some kegel pumps.)

I could never see myself dating a girl of my age (22-26). They're so shallow and infantile. You never k ow what they'll flip out about. Even the ones in their 30s are useless. Theoretically, I'd feel more comfortable with an "underage" boy. (14-20.)

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 No.413295

>>413294

True.

But what I said is about how girls MUST behave. And as I said, if they don't, they will be replaced by younger girls, who are always available.

As for their age, pedophilia was always allowed before the jews came, exactly because women have deformed brains who keep their minds in the infancy all their lives. So a man should have any relationship, sex and make children whatsoever only with underage girls. Not the wasted (17 or more) old hags.

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 No.413329

>>413295

>As for their age, pedophilia was always allowed before the jews came,

No. You are thinking of hebephilia.

Pedophilia is going after PRE-pubescent girls.

And besides, girls are not innocent. Even in primary school, they're practicing their pelvic motions to seduce grown men.

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 No.413361

>>413347

>Basically, girls/women can't be allowed to participate in any aspect of a society. They are tools and currencies. Allowing them any rights or freedom ruins everything.

No. Treating them that way puts them on a pedestal in the first fucking place. You gotta treat girls as "alternative boys." They need to be expected to pull their weight like men. They need to be disciplined like men. Treating them like pieces of gold stagnates their maturity. Thats why Western women are so insufferable, because they're spoiled with chivalry.

> for marriage, girls as young as 10 yo were allowed to marry until the first half of the 20th century.

Girls can be broken in to the world at such an early age, while boys are lucky to have someone take them under their wing.

Were boys wed that early before the 19/20th century or is male value different?

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 No.413364

Bringing it back to what the thread is ACTUALLY about rather than seething at the state of the culture…

OP, you're right to say he's abused you. This hasn't got to do with being submissive or not pretty enough, and it hasn't got to do with him finding somebody better. What you have on your hands is somebody who wound you up and led you down a garden path to get what he wanted, and then bailed on you as soon as the initial rush of infatuation wore off. There's two possibilities as to why he'd do that.

Option one: Now that he's starting to calm down from the initial infatuation he's realized that he's not compatible with you for whatever reason. An awful lot of people make the mistake of rushing into a relationship and making it way too serious before they really get to know the person and as painful as it is it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with anybody other than being young and naive and hasty.

Option two: He's a predatory seducer who uses people for a pump&dump and then throws them away. There are lots of men who do this and there are lots of women too. The ghosting and cold-shouldering points in this direction, but it's possible that he just feels guilty about not feeling the two of you are compatible and is dealing with it in the worst possible way. It's also possible that he's got just enough innocence left to feel guilty about using you, but if that's the case his guilt will fade in time and he's likely to wind up detesting you.

In either case, OP, this guy isn't boyfriend material for you. It's obvious he's broken your heart but you're valuable whether or not this one dude happens to love you.

You should consider this a break-up and move on. Find someone to rebound with, or withdraw until you feel ready to try again, that's up to you, but for love of yourself, don't become a beta orbiter for a mentally damaged guy who used you.

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 No.413369

>>413364

This is why I say love is more dangerous than lust.

Becuase with lust, you can get over it. But you cannot get over love.

It makes people paint a rosy landscape over grime.

>"Love knows no bounds"

People are awfully picky about what they want in a partner.

>"Love is forgiving"

People keep a careful track of how many times they've been wronged by their partner.

>"Love is understanding"

People are quick to assume or suspect their partner is cheating on them.

It's unfortunate that friendship is seen as "shallow"/"for kids"/"loserdom". Friends are much better. They know you suck but are fine with it. They give you breathing room when need be.

And you can have the big arguement with them and get back together without feeling it's ruined.

Like I say, I dont have girlfriends. I have girls (and boys) as friends.

Love is too often seen as the endgame of maturity. If you don't marry, you're not a "true adult."

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 No.413379

>>413361

The whole point of treating women for what they are (objects) is precisely so any man in a society can beat down a woman who even thinks about giving her opinion on anything whatsoever.

Women are never to be pampered.

Women are never to be taken care of.

Women are to be used solely as reproductive biological tools, given to a man by their (women's) fathers, and discarded/abandoned as soon as they can't reproduce anymore.

The marriage of young girls is done exactly as a means for an adult man to control the girls from an early age, and influence her so she won't become a whore when she grows up, which is the natural state of all women.

Equality is a myth. What applies to women must not be applied to men.

A man chooses when he will marry. A woman must always be forced to marry while still a child and be kept in her husband's home, so she won't become rotten by the influence of other women.

>>413369

You sound like a woman.

>If you don't marry, you're not a "true adult."

But that is true, for women.

For men, you are an adult only if you can provide for yourself and live by your own merit and skills. Marrying can be one of those, but not an obligatory one, for a man. For a woman, it IS obligatory.

Unmarried women are failed living beings.

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 No.413390

>>413379

I disagree with that. That's reverse chivalry. No sane mature man would want that.

It's fine to not like women. It's ok to not bend over backwards for them.

But this is just petty utopia.

Like I said, girls are "alternative boys". They need to be disciplined and trained like men.

Not all girls are dainty frilly princesses. And they shouldn't be encouraged to be like that.

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 No.413638

In case any of you still care: The date we had set-up didn't materialize because of, I kid you not, covid 19 which I got tested for a few days prior.

It's not like I would have gotten to see him again if things had been different because he had already stopped talking to me at that point. Again. It's comical in a way at this point but I know the only reason I'm saying this is to protect myself from the sadness I would have to be overwhelmed by otherwise.

Fuck, I cannot believe I'm still so invested in this. The realization of the finality of it all is starting to creep up to me but I cannot let go because frankly I refuse to. He was it boys. He [i]is[/i] still it. I would not hesitate to forget everything and go back to the way things were if only he asked me to and talked to me and looked at me the way he used to, let alone kiss me. And I'm saying this while at the same time having vivid fantasies of just strangling his dumb cruel ass and slapping him around.

I know this isn't healthy anymore but who cares. He sure doesn't and that's why I don't either. I might as well carry on clinging to what vain hope I have left.

Now if only I knew what to do with said hope left…

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 No.413697

Since adolescence, I have always been afraid to meet the opposite sex, most likely I am just modest and because of this I was bad at it. It's good that online dating has stepped forward and now you can do everything on the Internet, I found a cool site https://www.quickflirt.com/ and now I often sit there.

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 No.413765

File: e5b945b7d41d555⋯.jpg (69.27 KB,640x601,640:601,feba402414f2a746.jpg)

>>413638

I hope you can overcome the pain soon.

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