[ / / / / / / / / / / / / / ] [ dir / general / randamu / rzabczan / wmafsex ]

/cow/ - Lolcows

Autism speaks. It's time to listen.
Name
Email
Subject
Comment *
File
Password (Randomized for file and post deletion; you may also set your own.)
* = required field[▶ Show post options & limits]
Confused? See the FAQ.
Embed
(replaces files and can be used instead)
Options

Allowed file types:jpg, jpeg, gif, png, webm, mp4, swf, pdf
Max filesize is 16 MB.
Max image dimensions are 15000 x 15000.
You may upload 5 per post.


Bunker boards.
Rules, email, feed, mods.
IRC (QChat, Mibbit, KiwiIRC, stats).

File: a86fa2916c8b7d0⋯.png (1.14 MB, 1600x896, 25:14, ClipboardImage.png)

5e4040  No.952967

Desperately I held my asshole expecting a mega shit. It wasn't gonna be the routine poo. It was gonna be the big one. I've been waiting a few days since July 4th expecting it to come. I worshipped it by eating a few hot dogs here and a few hamburgers there to garuntee the second coming of the turd. I sat on the toilet thinking my life story and what I've done to deserve such a fate. The shit came out. It came out like storm water breaking a window open with ass skin all over the toilet. The toilet was nearly filled and I aimed my asspipe to the shower expecting a mega horse shit showdown. It came down and as the thunder clapped my ass stopped shitting and I started spraying pee for at least a minute. The battle finished by me and my friend taking a shovel to shovel the shit into bags to set on fire and chuck at buildings. The very next day the news reported the mysterious disappearance of several historical buildings. Several businesses like JP Morgan have invested in building new migrant shelters and set a reward up to $2,500 to the man or woman that burned down the property for reuse.

5e4040  No.952981

File: 0145f33abfb7306⋯.png (601.14 KB, 1280x720, 16:9, ClipboardImage.png)

File: 0ca22f36df08ca3⋯.png (955.73 KB, 1160x773, 1160:773, ClipboardImage.png)

File: 0e0fe555bda7943⋯.png (349.75 KB, 408x612, 2:3, ClipboardImage.png)

I didn't take up the offer. I knew it wasn't really a guaranteed reward, but rather a trap to get me to admit I burned down a historical coal factory. It doesn't matter if Berkshire Hathaway offers to create a new Reduced Rent Refugee center. I knew from TV ad they were trying to find the crafter of land in a place so desolate and abandoned. Many years ago Hitler's Nazi's have done almost exactly the same with the burning of the Reichstag. A coal factory to the town is like the Reichstag in how it controls a nostalgic centerpiece. The very next day I barely mustered up a shit. I took a months worth of cat litter and put it in the bag.

I walked up to the trailer responsible for the construction of the Refugee Apartment complex. I lit up the bag and lighted the trailer on fire. The trailer was dead silent and it was night so nobody could snitch on my attempt to end progress in the town. The trailer burned easily for the citizens of the town poured gasoline all over the trailer prior to my second attempt at Arson.

The Democratic Federal Government ran by Cory Brooker and Kamala Harris responded soon days after. They banned the sale of non-pumped gasoline and required the resettlement of 500 Syrian migrants into the town. Word got around that I was the man who set the factory on fire and caused the construction for the new migrant apartment complex.

Days later, an Indian man was caught taking a shit in the local pool. He was charged with 10 Counts of Ass Arson Accelerationism. He was given a reduced sentence and even a college education.


78af50  No.954027

Great thread bro I laughed pretty fuckin hard




[Return][Go to top][Catalog][Nerve Center][Cancer][Post a Reply]
[]
[ / / / / / / / / / / / / / ] [ dir / general / randamu / rzabczan / wmafsex ]