/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

> I just want to find the spiritual fulfillment and the Truth I've been looking for so I can finally get on with life and balance can once more be restored to it.

have you considered the possibility that having a radical encounter with God would not so much restore a former sense of balance, but alter it dramatically and shift all one's priorities; much like the process of recovery when one survives being hit by a truck?

throughout the history of Christianity when men have come to a place of knowing their God properly, they have not so much chilled out, relaxed and maxed all cool; but instead found themselves reorientated and driven by different motivations from what they had before, but it doesn't seem that you would like that very much, since you seem to prefer to create your own spiritual paths rather than pick up a cross and follow the Christ who leads all his true disciples through the very worst places life can assail one with

if you aren't prepared to die daily to your own desires and self-willed motivations, then you really don't want to be engaged with the One who will transform you by the renewal of your mind, since it's an incredibly painful process to have everything one believes challenged, and moreover; changed

tl;dr everything you are is wrong, and submitting to Christ in full surrender will rek u, break you, grind you like sand, and remould you into a completely different being than you are now - do you really want that?

>>824551

Look, you won't find peace until you allow yourself to hope.

You're expectations are wrong; that something is going to "happen" and then the Truth will be revealed. Well it will! But not without hope. So you need to choose if you are going to have hope.

If someone offers you a good career in an area you like, then don't you jump at it with hope, rather than reason yourself out of it? If you don't have the will to hope that the job will be everything you need, then you will never know if it was what you needed, because you'd stay at home. Likewise, Christ has offered you hope, and if you take it, you will find that the fruit is good and comes from a good tree.

> some random half-maker claiming to be God

I really can't imagine how perverse and rotten your mind has to be through your embracing of demonic rituals so that you make up this fictional Christ that did nothing and only talked about "being God".

You have had the Truth in front of you for a long time. Don't cry while you spit on it because you are attached to esoteric nonsense.

>>824551

Start praying the rosary everyday multiple times a day. Thats what cured me of my occult mind cancer. Thats what cured the Albegensians back in the day at least until the prots brought them back. Thanks Luther, very cool it can work on you too.

>>824551

Go talk to your priest about it and he'll sort out everything for you

>>824551

First of all, OP, it's hard not to underestimate this advice >>824751

Talk to your priest. He's an expert on the topic you're asking about. He dedicates his life to spiritual fulfillment. He's not a judge; many people don't want to talk to priest cause they think they'll be judged. Don't worry, they're used to all kinds of sin and heresies, and they love to help others. Your local church is probably walking distance from your home, so go talk to the priest.

Now, back to your first post. I was once in your shoes, trying desperately to get into the occult to inject some meaning into my life, which I desperately needed. Intellectually, I believed there was one God. But I was never able to fully get into the gnostic stuff, much less into "chaos magic(k)", which seemed to me as a bunch of edgy LARPers looking for cheap ways to justify their sex addiction. Ultimately, devoid of any meaning, in went down into a two year long depression.

Ultimately, there was some part of me that became sick of being down, that kind of rebelled. I knew I could not life depressed, and I knew I was too much of a coward to kill myself, so I had no option but to bounce back. I started ordering my life, trying to get some self control. My life was shitty, so mindless repetitive tasks were alright with me, unable to bring me further down than I already was. And they had the upside of building up some discipline. I cleaned up my desk from shit that had been sitting there for months, organized my library by subjects, emptied my drawers of all the crap, tidied up my computer files and got into control my excessive masturbation habits. It's something one could easily do in a weekend, or just an afternoon, but it took me months. However, if you want to search for some ultimate meaning, you have to pull yourself together first. You cannot orient yourself towards anything if your a wreck, scattered away by the winds.

Once that's out of the way, pray. Another piece of advice that's often given, and often underestimated. You have to live your faith, live according to that ultimate meaning. Take Pascal's wager: intellectually you believe, but you do not live as if there's a God, you carry on with your mundane way of life. Imitate those who you consider holier, closer to God, than you. "Ultimate meaning" is not just some food for thought, it's a directing principle of your whole self. Live it out.