/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

My friend, I struggle with a similar issue, though not on the same scale as you, and the only thing I can say is this: remember what battles are yours to fight, and what are not. Everything is NOT as it should, but it will be as it is destined to be soon enough. Spiritual pride is the greatest destroyer of men, run from it.

We cannot love our brethren if we do not love God first. Don't juggle with too many things at once, with praye, fasting, reading the scriptures, etc. I would recommend meditating on the scriptures and maybe reading them at a more appropriate pace if you've been "juggling" between things.

And also, first of all, talk to your spiritual father about this.

My friend, you are under prelest. We are told by our Holy Fathers that we can expect nothing but suffering from following Christ.

You are completely right on everything, except that there will be a point in which you don't fail God. This is why repentance is all we can do.

>>758558

If you actually hit the deep end you convert automatically.

But you're essentially a larper who's kinda sad, so you're still pretty far. Be more honest with yourself. Pretending your way to faith is the worst meme you'll find in the internet.

>>758558

I know that feel, brOP.

>>758576

Hit the deep end? Did you exhaust Christ's teachings?

>>758584

Not the good deep end.

What church have you been going to?

>>758568

I've not been juggling. These are sequential.

>talk to your spiritual father about this

He's too busy, according to himself.

>>758574

I'm not looking for sunshine and rainbows. I'm looking for some sort of change in myself to better conform to the will of God, which has failed to occur.

>>758576

>If you actually hit the deep end you convert automatically.

>Pretending your way to faith is the worst meme you'll find in the internet.

Sounds to me like you've got experience with both of these.

>>758609

Yeah, some. But I imagine most genuine converts here also do. Anyhow, I thought more so bear with me for a second:

The existential crisis has become quite common nowadays. It shows up in some general forms: the nihilism crisis, the death one, the "I'll never be remembered" one, and so on. And there are general reactions to it: the first and most obvious one is a the individual growing as a person from it, or struggling with it for all their life. The most common one is pussying out.

Nihilism is a good example. A person faces the problem of meaning, and they pussy out by claiming "meaning doesn't actually matter." More specifically, they theologize the problem: the initial issue is "why do I get out of bed?", "why do I work?", "why do I do literally anything, what's the point?", and they somehow come up with the idea that this colloquial meaning is somehow a grand, impossible thing that was never a problem to begin with, so they can just hedonistically enjoy life, while they can't even justify why they seek pleasure.

You pussied out by latching onto Christianity. I don't know what exactly what was the problem, but I'll go on a wild guess and claim you can't even really concretely explain how Christ in fact solves it, like the nihilist who pussied out can't give more than some bullshit along the vague lines of "God somehow creates meaning", or the man who panicked about death can't honestly think he's going anywhere but to hell.

And the solution is actually really simple: you apologize. You've been pretending to have enough faith to move a pebble for a while, you've been using the image of God to solve your "problems", and you just need to honestly apologize.

Actually, maybe seeing it in third person helps. Look up von Neumann.

>I live in self-isolation due to my contempt for the whole of humanity

In Greek democracy, the system wanted and needed GOOD citizens, so people were pushed to better themselves.

In current 'democracy', the leaders EXPLICITLY say that people are too dumb to think for themselves, so they need an elite to guide them.

You are watching humanity through the lens of the media, whose agenda is to belittle people. What does music, movies and news teach? That is what people absorb.

Nihilism is a reaction? conformism? your nature? I cannot know, but you might want to investigate.

>>758623

>hurr durr greeks were good guys

placing faith on humanity and human institutions eventually will fail

>>758686

That was an observation, not a matter of faith.

>>758619

>God somehow creates meaning

LOL that's ez

Since we cannot examine the domain of the creator, let's pick two universes, one which is meta of the other, in the most detached way.

Axiomatically starting from experience, which I am doing right now and against which no argument can be built, define real as the universe of what can directly or indirectly experienced.

Then let's define a banal universe like the tic tac toe game. It is a set of rules, with a set of parameters, with a set of games containing a set of moves. You can play it in your head, which underlines a general fact, games are abstractions so they are completely separate from reality. So we have two abstractions, this universe and the game, very loosely coupled.

Now, you run into a representation of the game. If you know the game, you know what it is, if you dunno, the representation is as arcane as the phaistos disc (which itself could well be a game). So, what gives meaning to what you see? the fact that somebody in a meta universe (ours) created the game and transmitted the knowledge to you.

If you insist in seeing this theologically, Christ is God in this universe, it is like you in your dream. You may be part of the dream like another character, but in truth the dream is inside you and you are inside the dream. John says all things were done through him, calling it the Logos, which protestants merely translate as word, but it is better translated as… "meaning". It is regarded as mysterious, but frankly guys with enough experience of virtual vs real should just nod the head and say 'it figures'. Then, you can believe or not, that is another matter.

>>758760

No machinated system can push people to better themselves, only God can.

Your Christ is a machine, not God.