I feel you OP, I was raised by an angry atheist and then spent a short time in low Prot churches so I never learned much of substance about Christianity. However, through research, mostly YouTube/podcasts(go ahead and judge me, but I have a toddler and reading a physical book is hard at times) I’ll be going through an expediated RCIA because the priest was impressed with my grasp of Doctrine. I don’t say that to brag, if a lazy dummy like me can do it, surely you can too anon. There’s a wealth of information out there, just go after it.