>>750770
just what the world needs: more broken, depressed, despairing men as clergy
>>750768
>A couple days back I finally made peace with this truth
Until you have gone years – and I mean, like, five – and don't fap, don't still look at women longingly, and don't still wish and pine for a waifu, you're not embracing this.
>celibacy
This is what we do to honour God, to commit ourselves to God. You're an incel. You don't want it, it's clear, and you wish God would take it away from you, but you're resigning to it. This is a recipe for being under temptation, sin and condemnation for a lifetime. Don't bother.
If your pastor's abandoned you, ask yourself, truthfully, whether he gave you advice you ignored. "It's too hard." "I can't do it." etc
If so, doesn't he have a right to seem to give up? He's waiting for you, perhaps?
But, if he's not, then move on. But, speak to him before you do explaining your reasons. Don't be autistic and leave in a huff.
All of this doesn't mean that God hasn't chosen celibacy for you. This may be your cross. But, the key point is you will never know until you've gotten to age sixty (C.S.Lewis married at 58, fwiw, but he wasn't incel.)
What you need to decide is not whether God has or has not chosen this for me, the question is how will I live now in a way that honours who He is? You might be waiting until you're 58. (What of it? You gonna hate God for that? To whom else can you turn?) So, there's thirty years ahead of you, or maybe a lifetime. How are you going to live until then? Pining. Fapping? Rolling around in emotional anguish, hating yourself and the world? Turning more incel?
The only appropriate response is the same response any man can give in any of their circumstances:
< Now all has been heard;
< here is the conclusion of the matter:
< Fear God and keep his commandments,
< for this is the duty of all mankind.
Seek God. Learn about Him. Study His word. Pray. Be a useful man in your Christian community and later your wider community. No Pastor or parishioner can spurn the friendship of a quiet man who does all this work for others' sake. This isn't about quid pro quo. This is about serving God.
If you're too broken, maybe go see a Christian shrink. Seek their counsel.
I truly hope you can find your way out of this. You do not want to end-up taking my path. There be dragons.