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For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
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The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

File: 5f43452dfa900f7⋯.jpg (7.27 KB, 245x206, 245:206, Pepe woke up.jpg)

faf3cd  No.745059

Howdy /christian/. I want to talk with you. I've been posting on here a while. If you've read the suicide prevention thread, >>729361

I'm the one with all of the attention-whoring and blogposting about SSRI withdrawal and wanting not to exist and the like. (Still, if anyone who's reading this has talked to me there, thank you.) I have a lot of issues. I had a crisis of faith around January to March so deep that I stopped running off to r/Catholicism to write hysterical posts in hope of answers about nagging little details and technicalities and fears about confession and this or that issue and instead just went off and have been trying to figure out theology myself. Given that the canonical definition of "heresy" includes "stubborn doubt" I'm probably automatically excommunicated because, after all of my reading, I have doubts, confusion, and can't understand any of this and I'm at least half convinced the Old Calendarists are right. If I didn't revert to Catholicism June 2017, and if I knew then what I knew now, I'd probably already be one by now, but since I leaped back into the faith of my childhood before realizing that I was never even taught it in any significant sense, now I have some kind of sunk cost or something in it.

As I mentioned, I've gone on and off an SSRI this year, from the beginning of January to the middle of November. I've seen a new psychiatrist once who prescribed a different SSRI alongside a small dose of some tranquilizer to even me out as I start taking it (I have not done so, of course - I'm done with medicine). I've been seeing a Catholic counselor who advised me to see a priest he respects highly and have him pray over me. When he prayed for me, I had - a vision? some kind of revelation? - of the golden-white light coming from his prayers running off and away from the blackness around me coming from my soul like water off a rock (since, as we are assured, if one is not "in" a created "state of grace" then God hears no prayers, and therefore all of my begging Him and the saints to help me, to tell me what I must do, to have mercy on someone as confused as I am and to lead me back to Him, are as worthless as shouting at a deaf man and I may as well not bother).

At this point, I don't know what to do and I spend most days feeling endless rage toward everything (especially myself) and not being able to concentrate on the academic requirements I have, and I'm in total despair over any possibility of salvation. I've been thinking it might help to write down everything that's happened to me and what I've been worried about since June 2017. If any of you are still reading this (thanks, by the way!) do you think writing it down would help? Would you read it? Even more, would you respond to it? Should I also go back and post it on r/Catholicism since that was where I kept looking for answers?

Thanks for reading, /christian/. I love you.

876838  No.745061

>>745059

Take the medicine prescribed to you; it should help. Even if you don’t think it is, take it and report about it on your next visit. If you’re excommunicated from Catholicism, feel free to become a Protestant. And, as always, continue to pray and believe. I’ll pray for you as well.


876838  No.745063

>>745060

Way to be supportive of someone going through a hard time “Christian”


876838  No.745066

>>745065

At least I had the decency to read it all. Besides, this thread isn’t the place for this argument


dfff22  No.745077

File: 539c29745235231⋯.jpg (26.68 KB, 314x392, 157:196, 16247affecfd91ff498d59131e….jpg)

>since, as we are assured, if one is not "in" a created "state of grace" then God hears no prayers, and therefore all of my begging Him and the saints to help me, to tell me what I must do, to have mercy on someone as confused as I am and to lead me back to Him, are as worthless as shouting at a deaf man and I may as well not bother

Summa Theologiae: Question 83. Prayer, Article 16. Whether sinners impetrate anything from God by their prayers?

<Objection 1. It would seem that sinners impetrate nothing from God by their prayers. It is written (John 9:31): "We know that God doth not hear sinners"; and this agrees with the saying of Proverbs 28:9, "He that turneth away his ears from hearing the law, his prayer shall be an abomination." Now an abominable prayer impetrates nothing from God. Therefore sinners impetrate nothing from God.

<Objection 2. Further, the just impetrate from God what they merit, as stated above (Article 15, Reply to Objection 2). But sinners cannot merit anything since they lack grace and charity which is the "power of godliness," according to a gloss on 2 Timothy 3:5, "Having an appearance indeed of godliness, but denying the power thereof." and so their prayer is impious, and yet piety it required in order that prayer may be impetrative, as stated above (Article 15, Reply to Objection 2). Therefore sinners impetrate nothing by their prayers.

<Objection 3. Further, Chrysostom [Hom. xiv in the Opus Imperfectum falsely ascribed to St. John Chrysostom] says: "The Father is unwilling to hear the prayer which the Son has not inspired." Now in the prayer inspired by Christ we say: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us": and sinners do not fulfil this. Therefore either they lie in saying this, and so are unworthy to be heard, or, if they do not say it, they are not heard, because they do not observe the form of prayer instituted by Christ.


dfff22  No.745079

File: 62f43289eead87e⋯.jpg (1.89 MB, 1663x3000, 1663:3000, King_Solomon.jpg)

>On the contrary, Augustine says (Tract. xliv, super Joan.): "If God were not to hear sinners, the publican would have vainly said: Lord, be merciful to me a sinner"; and Chrysostom [Hom. xviii of the same Opus Imperfectum] says: "Everyone that asketh shall receive, that is to say whether he be righteous or sinful."

''>I answer that, In the sinner, two things are to be considered: his nature which God loves, and the sin which He hates. Accordingly when a sinner prays for something as sinner, i.e. in accordance with a sinful desire, God hears him not through mercy but sometimes through vengeance when He allows the sinner to fall yet deeper into sin. For "God refuses in mercy what He grants in anger," as Augustine declares (Tract. lxxiii in Joan.). On the other hand God hears the sinner's prayer if it proceed from a good natural desire, not out of justice, because the sinner does not merit to be heard, but out of pure mercy [Cf. Article 15, Reply to Objection 1], provided however he fulfil the four conditions given above, namely, that he beseech for himself things necessary for salvation, piously and perseveringly.

>Reply to Objection 1. As Augustine states (Tract. xliv super Joan.), these words were spoken by the blind man before being anointed, i.e. perfectly enlightened, and consequently lack authority. And yet there is truth in the saying if it refers to a sinner as such, in which sense also the sinner's prayer is said to be an abomination.''

>Reply to Objection 2. There can be no godliness in the sinner's prayer as though his prayer were quickened by a habit of virtue: and yet his prayer may be godly in so far as he asks for something pertaining to godliness. Even so a man who has not the habit of justice is able to will something just, as stated above (II-II:59:2). And though his prayer is not meritorious, it can be impetrative, because merit depends on justice, whereas impetration rests on grace.

>Reply to Objection 3. As stated above (Article 7, Reply to Objection 1) the Lord's Prayer is pronounced in the common person of the whole Church: and so if anyone say the Lord's Prayer while unwilling to forgive his neighbor's trespasses, he lies not, although his words do not apply to him personally: for they are true as referred to the person of the Church, from which he is excluded by merit, and consequently he is deprived of the fruit of his prayer. Sometimes, however, a sinner is prepared to forgive those who have trespassed against him, wherefore his prayers are heard, according to Sirach 28:2, "Forgive thy neighbor if he hath hurt thee, and then shall thy sins be forgiven to thee when thou prayest."


dfff22  No.745080

>>745079

Well screw what I remembered about formatting. Points still stand.


7a4331  No.745084

>>745059

You are here to suffer like everyone else and then die. Quit whining about it. This is not your universe, you are a passenger. Start acting like you are a guest in something powerful's home and you will be surprised at how easy it is to be nice to others and have hobbies and good mental health. Shed the ego and do good when you can and don't do bad. This isn't hard when you are not comparing your life to others. Cognitive therapy corrects lousy thinking that produces lousy feelings. Don't think bad equals don't feel bad. Jesus is your friend here– the best guy ever and look how much he suffered. No one gets out of here alive. Quitting is just cowardice, take your suffering and move beyond it. Sit still without want and watch it all melt away. Stop looking for attention and being a parasite on others emotions.


876838  No.745090

>>745078

Remember when I said that this wasn’t the place for an argument? That was a good idea. Let’s continue to follow that suggestion


876838  No.745101

>>745094

This thread is what I meant. Now if you’ll be so kind, please shut up and move on with your life. I beg of you!


a29b41  No.745145

>>745059

I'm shit at giving sincer advice and very good at writing fake inspirational posts. I won't do this.

I'll tell you just one thing: give up your expectations in yourself.

Don't expect miracles, don't expect magically improving everything, don't expect being something different from what you are.

Just accept yourself. Yes, you are a mess, it's ok. Trust in God's mercy even if you have no merits and nothing good about yourself.

I'm a mess, you are a mess. God knows.


c411cb  No.745166

> When he prayed for me, I had - a vision? some kind of revelation? - of the golden-white light coming from his prayers running off and away from the blackness around me coming from my soul like water off a rock

In the name of Jesus all darkness must leave. May the light of Christ shine on you. The darkness is doubt. Lord lead OP to the rock that is higher than him.

OP do you read much scripture or just the teachings of the church?


faf3cd  No.745269

>>745061

Yeah, I'm not BEGOMING BRODESDAND, sorry not sorry as the saying goes. I'll consider the medicine again. Thanks for the prayers.

>>745084

>>745145

Thanks for telling it to me straight, as best you see it.

>>745077

>>745079

I think I needed that. Thanks.

>>745166

You make a good point - I should probably read more of the Bible. Thank you for that suggestion.

>>745063

>>745066

>>745090

>>745101

welp I'm going to guess I don't want to know what you all were responding to.




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