I was raised a pentacostal, and experienced my first crisis of faith at about the age of 10, before leaving the church at around the age of 15; I read through many different religious beliefs and philosophies, even identifying for a time as a Satanist, though ironically I found myself ever drawn toward effectively reinventing or rediscovering Christian doctrine out of the occult - especially Crowley, whose most 'profound' beliefs I learned later were not dissimilar to certain theological concepts in Christianity, I'm sure much to his posthumous chagrin. I recently read Chesterton's Orthodoxy, wherein I noticed these similarities.
Increasingly, I've also come to rather orthodox views on certain moral matters for what I presumed were secular reasons (the importance of monogamy, opposition to 'assisted suicide', the notion of a particular significance to the idea of biological sex, an increasing uncomfortability with abortion via cognitive dissonance my already-existed strict vegetarianism, etc). And moreover, I've additionally come to view the existence of reality itself as far more absurd a priori than the existence of God is a posteriori.
On the other hand, for the last several years, I've been living with/dating an ex-Mormon girl (after a bout of early-adulthood homosexuality), who is severely mentally ill as a result of the Mormon theological/ecclesiastical abuse and other secular abuses suffered. We are both eachother's longest partners, and we have discussed marriage though the financial implications (as relates particularly to healthcare) make it quite difficult in the near future, and her Mormon education makes her skeptical of the idea.
At a certain relative's deathbed, where I've been visiting for many hours every day, I've experienced several 'spooky' incidents which have profoundly produced a sort of crisis of unfaith, as it were. That being said, I see myself as having a duty toward my girlfriend, whose own path is arguably much more difficult than mine (though I did, interestingly, see her reading an illustrated book of saints a few days ago).
What would you suggest I do?