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For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
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The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

File: 8d77e96e1cf0250⋯.jpg (168.93 KB, 1600x1000, 8:5, nice.jpg)

73c601  No.712929

Me and my husband have 3 sons, but both of us noticed that our second child, while working hard to please us and help us in any way he can, simply doesn't evoke the same feelings of love and care from either one of us like the oldest and youngest sons do.

I have struggled with this for a year now. I tried to push myself to be more loving and caring towards him, but I think he can see that it's out of pity.

It's even worse, because he pushes himself hard and tried to earn our love through doing chores, doing well in school and even coming to church every sunday without a complaint.

But I just don't love him like I do my other two kids. And if I pretend I know that he can tell that it's just out of pity.

Me and my husband both work fulltime, but he is even more reluctant to deal with this than I am. He often buries himself into work so that he has an excuse for not having the strength to deal with this.

What scares me the most is that my husband's family was very similar. He was the oldest of three brothers, and the middle child was also neglected, and abused, and he turned out gay.

I tried to tell my husband that he MUST spend a lot of time with our second son and develop a kind of father-son bond, or he will be a reprobate, but he told me that he just doesn't like the idea of taking private vacations with the single one of his kids that he doesn't like.

What do I do, /christian? I feel like we are both awful people, and I don't know if it's even too late already? He is just 11 years old now, but I am afraid he will go down on a path of sin in order to make up for the love we simply couldn't give him.

96e1f8  No.712963

>>712929

Act like you love him and you will start to love him.


1e0fb0  No.712966

>>712929

You work full time and you want your children to love you? That’s not going to be a reality.

You need to do it Gods way. Read proverbs 31.

You can start a home business( or manage your husbands business) or…

You can work a job from home

Spending more time with your children is how a bond develops. Don’t push this all on your husband for not developing a father-son bond.


554d4f  No.713004

>>712929

You are indeed a bad parent. You should be a full time mother not a career feminist. Quit your job and take care of your children. You probably don't have an emotional attachment because you didn't foster one at the developmental first years. A mother who works without necessity mortally sins


73c601  No.713006

>>712966

>Don’t push this all on your husband

I'm not doing that, but he needs to be a father to them. I can't handle this alone.

He needs to spend time with them, instead of just coming home to sleep.

I can't give them a masculine role model.


c1f82a  No.713009

>Me and my husband both work fulltime

Who is watching your children?


73c601  No.713010

>>713009

They are in school and then they are at home until one of us gets back.

I'm from Europe, it's a thing, people do this, and it's not uncommon at all where I live.


c1f82a  No.713011

>>713010

>getting defensive over pointing out that you let strangers raise YOUR children

Calm the frick down. I'd suggest taking time away from work or starting a work-from-home business.

Pull your kids out of public schools as well, nothing but secular trash brainwashing.

You'd be amazed at the results of what spending close personal time with your children does in developing loving bonds.


73c601  No.713013

>>713011

>Pull your kids out of public schools

It's literally illegal where I live.

Now I know that I should put in more effort into raising my own kids, but that won't solve the problem of them having a positive masculine model in their lives.

How do I get my husband to raise his damn kids? The few times he spends time with them the kids all have a terrible time. He is also very dissmissive of them, and all my kids told me that they don't like him.

I feel like we are in a terrible place, and I can't save this situation alone. What will he say when I tell him that I'd prefer to work as a part time nurse instead of full-time?


c1f82a  No.713027

>>713013

I would still recommend working from home as you mentioned there is time where your kids are home alone if I read that correctly.

Have you brought your issues up with your priest/pastor?

While it sounds like your husband needs to work on things I suggest working on your own issues first, remember the mote and the beam.

I'll be praying for you and your family.


73c601  No.713028

>>713027

Thank you.

I think talking to the priest might be a good idea.

May God bless you.


d897a3  No.713029

>>713013

Well, this is going to sound rude, but it really isn't the wife's job to tell the husband what he needs to be doing. A man is more likely to do the opposite of what a woman is telling him to do. Pushing this any further is bound to cause more divisions. All you can do is follow your husbands lead and pray that he comes to realize his own errors. Also I grew up in a very similar situation to the one you find yourself in and I didn't become a reprobate, so I wouldn't worry about that.


87417f  No.713046

>>713036

Offtopic post, please disregard.


c9e519  No.713059

File: c0267f361830665⋯.jpg (52.17 KB, 324x500, 81:125, 5_love_languages.jpg)

>>712929

Dear mother,

First you should know that all your problems are extremely common. There are many mothers who think they love one of their children less. Consider this: maybe you love all your children but in different ways. We love our parents in one way, we love our spouse in another way, we love our brothers and sisters differently, we love our children in different ways. They are different people after all and our different love means we respect their own individuality.

Of course, you should try to love equally all your children. The worst thing to do, however, is if you feel guilty about your second son. The children always sense the feelings of their parents. If you feel guilty about your second son, deep inside he will think that he is responsible for this, he will grow considering himself unworthy, lacking self-confidence, unsocial, and so on.

I recommend that you read the book "The Five Love Languages (of children)" by Gary Chapman. This book will give you many ideas how to improve the connection between you and your son.


ee89b0  No.713066

>>713059

I'm not OP, but this is a beautiful post. Thank you.


0ca3a9  No.713076

Nice copypasta


523bb7  No.713111

>>712929

Just compliment and love him. Even if you don't feel like doing it.


d524cb  No.713119

>>712929

It sounds to me like the problem now lies with your husband. I say confront him, and remind him of his duty as a father. If still he refuses and will not forge that bond with your sons, tell him that he is not a man, he is a failure of a man, like a cuckold or deserter or a sodomite. Do so in as much of a genuinely disgruntled and disappointed tone as you can. I certainly can't make any judge of character of anyone in your family, but I know objectively if he has retained the masculine sanity which most men have lost, you could probably expect him to naturally be enraged at such an insult, and might even strike you, but I'd say that is sure proof you have gotten to him.


1e0fb0  No.713135

>>713119

His duty? Sounds like he’s doing his duty and working like a man, how God commanded.

God commanded women to be keepers at home.

Are you going to argue with God?


d524cb  No.713140

>>713135

And the man teaches his sons the skills they need to survive and provide, he isn't absent from their lives. You think Eve taught Cain and Abel how to hunt?


f9c46c  No.713155

>>712929

What's more important

Your children

Or

Your carrier

?


1e0fb0  No.713169

>>713140

And… what argument are you making here?

If having a full time job makes you fully absent from your child’s life, then it means both people in this situation are neglecting their children.

Do you have ANY scripture from God that justifies a mother working a full-time job outside the home?


b6f6ba  No.713189

Home-school and work from home. This is the only answer for a woman.


ce1517  No.714335

>Me and my husband have 3 sons

>My husband has 3 sons

>Me has 3 sons

<My husband and I have 3 sons

<My husband has 3 sons

<I have 3 sons



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