>>708094
>I go church, confession and gym regularly. I do hang out with my friends but the OCD makes me upset and regret hanging out. I hope the ERP and antidepressants work.
Sounds like you're already on the right path. ADHD and a catholic too here, I'm incredibly undetermined and unfocused unlike you, I don't think I'm attractive either, but I guess I'm not as vulnerable to depression as you are. I was bullied back in middle school. In highschool, I learned to cope with my anxiety and social awkwardness, and I could defend myself, but many still scoffed me quite constantly. I'm not a bright guy either, I was among the bottom performers and It took me 2 extra years to finish college just because I had zero interest in working on the final thesis. I just graduated and I'm still having a hard time finding a job, let alone finding a suitable one, I find it hard to make such decisions and usually end up choosing neither and doing nothing of value.
Even my parents are ashamed of me. Even I am disappointed in myself too because I always feel like I haven't fulfilled my potential, I'm really impulsive and have really low perseverance, which are the essential symptoms of ADD, no matter how hard I lash myself. But what can you do, some things are probably beyond your control even when you refuse that fact. That's just what you are, nobody is born equal, to hate yourself is to hate God's image.
The one cartoon that really uplifted me was Beavis and Butthead. I love how they stayed true to themselves no matter what others say about them and how much they don't belong in this civilization. They even think that their destructive, unfruitful nature is "cool" and consider those who disagree with their ways to be the stupid ones. Beavis and Butthead are no Forest Gump, there is no special talent behind their dim brain, they're just stupid and hated by everyone, and they go along with it instead of falling into self hate. This is the cartoon that really cured me from self hate, low esteem, and depression.
No, I'm not saying that I endorse B&B's ignorant and anti-productive ways. I'm just telling you to be cool with it no matter how hard you screwed up. Even if your efforts aren't fruitful, if you try God knows you try. If people hate you, even if that person is yourself, call them stupid and dismiss them because they don't understand you. When you pray, pray for strength, don't see God as some kind of wish granter. A strength to go through the day and tomorrow and push yourself to do better everyday.
>>708132
What do you even need a girl for. Do you think having a girlfriend/wife will stop you from lusting over porn? This attitude of considering wives as a sextoy and a breathing waifu pillow is something I actually despise. Why do girls with boyfriends tease you? Maybe because they think you're a freak. Maybe you're not cute after all, but who cares. There are many people out there who long for affection even though they have no chance at it, and they grew cold and bitter. Your thirst for affection and lust shouldn't fool you, we all thirst for something we sometimes are not supposed to have. That's just a part of life God wants you to go through. It's much better to spend your love on God and people who actually need it than on a walking fleshlight.