Indifference

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Indifference Christanon 08/28/18 (Tue) 16:19:42 975996 No.693529

Does anyone else feel like they can't really connect to anything on a personal level? I was raised as a Christian, and for a long time I really did believe in God's salvation, but now I feel like if none of it is true, I'd be completely fine with it. The truth is I don't care about salvation anymore, I want to but I don't think I can. Whenever I start to think about what my life would be without God I can't think of anything that woild be different besides having an extra hour of free time on Sundays. Even if I consider going to Hell, I can't get a reaction out of myself. I don't think it's that I don't grasp the concept of Hell, it's that I'm in a mindset that whatever happens, happens, and whatever can't happen won't happen. I can't connect to other people, the only time I really engage in conversation is when I'm in an arguement on here. Ive lost interest in all of my past hobbies, like vidya, drawing, and anime, and all I do now is browse a few boards on here and think to myself. And nothing helps, whenever I read the Bible looking for words of encouragement, or even just something that will make semse of this mess, I feel nothing. I listen to sermons and get nothing out of them. I don't want to lose my faith, I really don't.

Can someone who's experienced this in the past help or am I just doomed to float through life without meaning?

Christanon 08/28/18 (Tue) 16:50:07 d13f68 No.693543

>>693529

Pilgrimage.

Christanon 08/28/18 (Tue) 19:32:50 bc306f No.693615

>>693543

That's it? I finally get the courage to write out what's been weighing me down and all I get is some guy telling me to go take a hike? Is there no one here who's been in my position and can tell me what they did to get out of it?

At least tell me why the pilgrimage will help, I don't want to go on it and then get disappointed that it didn't do anything and feel even more seperated from the Church.

I want to feel God's love like you anons do.

Christanon 08/28/18 (Tue) 19:36:44 d13f68 No.693616

>>693615

Pilgrimage. To the farthest, harshest monastery you can find.

Christanon 08/28/18 (Tue) 19:50:58 bc306f No.693621

>>693616

Why? I see no reason to walk to some building or place.

Christanon 08/28/18 (Tue) 20:05:34 d13f68 No.693634

>>693621

You already said in excess that you don't see reason.

Christanon 08/28/18 (Tue) 20:10:02 bc306f No.693638

>>693634

Then tell me the reason. Otherwise your advice is worthless. Being cryptic helps nothing but your ego.

Christanon 08/28/18 (Tue) 20:19:20 058b0f No.693642

ἀκηδία

or

dark night of the soul

If you don't want to loose faith, keep on praying, even if you do not feel nothing. Jesus is there taking you on his shoulders. Keep on persevering!

Christanon 08/28/18 (Tue) 20:22:41 cc043e No.693645

File: 1bf5ba5da6f0067⋯.jpg (37.54 KB, 540x540, 1:1, a0faffa46a2cc205866a275f8e….jpg)

>>693529

Same boat Similar feels.

Christanon 08/28/18 (Tue) 20:45:27 669fab No.693656

>>693529

I didnt have similar experience (…I think), but I generally think that its caused by either despair or just unhealthy church life. How often do you attend the church, participate in Eucharist, pray and so on? I cant really speak for yourself, seeing that we dont know eachother, but I think you are also horribly fatalistic. Maybe influenced from reformed denomination? We have free will and we decide what our future will be. But for some reason, I think its mainly because maybe you are desperate and think that your sins overweight Love of God?

My general advise would be to seek a good, erudite priest and talk to him, tell him your concerns and maybe he will be able to help you. Also you can try to be in a monastery for a while and help monks with stuff. Me and my friends often visit one Orthodox monastery for a while, help them and have discussions with Bishop and priests. Its quite refreshing. Maybe you can try this.

I'm sorry, if I am not able to help you quite well or didnt understood your burden as I should have.

Christanon 08/28/18 (Tue) 21:05:36 bc306f No.693667

>>693656

>How often do you attend church

I used to go weekly, but Ive had problems with the pastor there so now I don't go to church. I do have a weekly Bible study with my father though.

>participate in Eucharist

My church did it every month or so, I think technically we do it every four weeks or something, maybe five I didn't keep track.

>pray

I've been praying as much as possible, but I don't seem to get any comfort out of it. I take time to pray in the mornings and before bed, and I have little one-sided conversations with God throughout the day.

Thank you for the advice, I'll try to make time to visit a priest if I can. I'm protestant and while there are things that I dislike about the teachings of the Orthodox church, they seem to have stronger faith than the people from my church, including me.

Christanon 08/28/18 (Tue) 21:16:00 669fab No.693671

>>693667

I see. Anyways, as I have said, you should visit a priest and I would advise you to try to attend Divine Liturgy in the nearest Church (of course its better if its held in your language. Ill assume that you're American and lots Orthodox Churches there hold service in English). Maybe this experience will have a good influence on you?

I hope that I was somewhat useful for you.

Christanon 08/29/18 (Wed) 09:47:48 6bdae6 No.693925

You sound depressed, it'll pass.

Christanon 08/29/18 (Wed) 10:37:43 951a42 No.693932

>>693667

Go to church. If the pastor is so bad at that one, pick a different one. You need a fellowship of believers around you.

Christanon 08/29/18 (Wed) 20:52:14 e97572 No.694143

Sell all your possessions and take up your cross.

Christanon 08/30/18 (Thu) 00:51:14 b00a35 No.694273

File: d9ea0e9d4c4d1f8⋯.gif (53.38 KB, 640x426, 320:213, I want to die.gif)

>>693529

I'm the same way OP. I have a fear of being vulnerable which gives me the seeming inability to truly love someone or something. On top of that, I simply don't care what Hell is like because I'm not afraid or intimidated by the punishment. Rarely get the motivation to even pray and that is a conscious "Oh, I should do that" effort. It's something you either accept or push through for the sake of it being truth. I've chosen the latter myself, because the former would lead me to the conclusion that I should kill myself failed three times already btw and it's not worth that sort of meaninglessness.