>>667692
Abhorrent sexual urges and fetishes often come from low self esteem.
By feeling depressed and hating yourself for doing this, you are lowering your self esteem even more.
Stop the cycle, do something positive, and think positively.
You have identified the problem and admitted it here, that's the first part.
Now you have to choose to stop doing it.
Stop watching any porn at all, if you find yourself searching for it, then you will hear a little voice saying "don't do it", listen to that without any hesitation at all, close the browser and wipe the cache.
Then walk away from the computer and do something else.
Clean/tidy up, do some exercise, go for a walk.
Exercise is really good for aversion therapy, redirect yourself and your urges into that.
No fap for several weeks helps, although the first week or two are the hardest.
Stay busy, don't allow yourself privacy, stay around other people, keep your door/curtains open, spend much less time at the computer.
After 2-3 weeks, you won't feel the urges so strongly.
After perhaps a month of no fap, you can do it again once or twice a week, to your imagination, about a normal, loving encounter. Do it in the shower so you aren't near electronic devices.
After a few months, you will notice you have almost no thoughts of porn, or odd fetishes.
Your mind will feel cleaner, and clearer.
Apply yourself to constructive things and constructive thoughts.
If you slip up, don't make a big deal out of it, just pick yourself up and start again with a positive mindset of "great, I made it 6 days/2 weeks ", I can do it this time.