Undergoing Despair; Send Help

Email
Comment *
File	Select/drop/paste files here
Password	(Randomized for file and post deletion; you may also set your own.)
* = required field	[▶ Show post options & limits] Confused? See the FAQ.

Embed	(replaces files and can be used instead)
Options	Do not bump (you can also write sage in the email field) Spoiler images (this replaces the thumbnails of your images with question marks)
Allowed file types:jpg, jpeg, gif, png, webm, mp4, pdf Max filesize is 16 MB. Max image dimensions are 15000 x 15000. You may upload 5 per post.

File: b8ce8b693831831⋯.jpeg (33.96 KB, 500x494, 250:247, Hope.jpeg)

Undergoing Despair; Send Help Christanon 05/27/18 (Sun) 17:06:31 1cf426 No.653870

Hey /christian/, I'm having a potentially extremely dangerous internal struggle right now, and I wanted to get some thoughts on it. I'm too worried about the consequences to talk about this with anyone else in my family or my friends.

>Been a self-identified Christian for four years now

>Constantly am trying to better myself through the Holy Spirit's guidance and power to avoid sin

>Main target for years has been fapping

>Every time I think I've made progress, I backslide hard.

>Recently, upon reflecting on this, my mind keeps bringing up the idea that, even though I've been working on this for years, no significant results have occurred.

>"Why don't you just kill yourself? You're already pretty hopeless on this, let alone all your other sins that you do. You're chances of going to Hell are virtually guaranteed. Why shouldn't you just speed up the process in that case?"

>Know it's an incorrect view, but it keeps coming back up in my mind and I can't refute it without the sensation of lying to myself anymore.

I'm at a loss on what to do. Seems like no matter what I try, I just circumvent my own barriers, then after the fact I get sad and sickened because of my weakness, ad infinium. I don't think I'm a reprobate, but I can't say for certain anymore if I'm truly even contrite and not just putting on a show for myself. I've had suicidal thoughts before, but I'd usually just brush them off as tricks of Satan. This isn't an intrusive thought though, this is my own rationality talking. I could use some advice on how to correct the underlying issue, which is my repeated failings at preventing sin, versus the symptoms of despair. Thanks in advance guys. God Bless all of you.

Christanon 05/27/18 (Sun) 17:30:39 bc2948 No.653876

>>653870

I will answer this as good as I can.

I have struggled with this issue all my life, even after marriage and kids coming into play. Fapping to porn is an addictive thing, that results in a mind without imagination. What you should start doing is fapping without porn. At most just watch a picture of a beautiful clothed woman. No undressed things. Like all boys started, when watching underwear models i catalogues. Then after a week or so, stop watching anything like that and use your imagination only. No sodomite stuff, just that you imagine that woman you want or wanred before. This so you feel no guilt of having a sexuality, which is necessary for normal reproduction. A week later stop using imagination, just observe what you are doing with your willy. Start thinking if its worth spilling seed, or if you should save it.

The point of all this is to get rid of the guilt of this practice, so you can put that to the side. And realise that there are graver things in the world that are sinful, than this practice. So you can drop it and go on with other things in life, feeling more energized and saving that sexual energy for the one you will love and reproduce with.

Christanon 05/27/18 (Sun) 17:40:39 ed21bf No.653877

File: 99c828cef4b9575⋯.png (1.29 MB, 960x720, 4:3, 1517569645237.png)

Might sound weird but one of the best things you can do is start working out - bodyweight exercises, running, lifting etc. It's very good for your mental health and I can personally attest it's effectiveness - I struggled with porn and fapping for years (if you think you're a bad sinner, I have very likely been much worse) but I've made substantial progress, and this played a big role in it.

It might be hard to get into, but it will increase your confidence and put you in a chad mindset so you won't be getting these virgin thoughts anymore. You'll be able to look down on temptations and laugh in their stupid face.

Christanon 05/27/18 (Sun) 18:31:58 1cf426 No.653888

>>653876

While it sounds like a traditional "weaning method" up until the end, the way you write so you can put that to the side. And realise that there are graver things in the world that are sinful, than this practice. makes it sound as if you're downplaying the nature of the sin itself, if not just making it not a sin at all.

>>653877

I've tried working out, on and off, over the years. I've got a bad body type for gaining weight so muscle growth is zero-sum and I'm far too poor to be able to get enough food or some protein supplement to aid in it. Because of that, it's hard to justify continuing to work out when there is no real reward for doing it.

Christanon 05/27/18 (Sun) 18:51:01 a354b0 No.653894

Even if you were 100% GUARANTEED to go to hell after your death, loving God while you still could on earth and serving him for that short time would be infinitely worthwhile… God is so good, and so sweet, that for a dust such as you or me to have the privilege to cooperate with him in even a small way is a gift beyond imagination… we get to be raised beyond our nature of dust and cooperate with LIFE AND LOVE AND TRUTH HIMSELF. For a beautiful moment, we can go beyond the limits of dust and visit the world of spirit, raised beyond ourselves to a joy and dignity we could never deserve…

Anyway, it's not about us… We have to try to go to heaven because our Father and our Lord want us there, not for our own gratification. It's about them and what they want. You and I are dust, floating in the wind which blows where it pleases… just nothings with nothing to recommend us.

Christanon 05/27/18 (Sun) 19:02:44 ed21bf No.653899

>>653888

>I've tried working out, on and off, over the years. I've got a bad body type for gaining weight so muscle growth is zero-sum and I'm far too poor to be able to get enough food or some protein supplement to aid in it. Because of that, it's hard to justify continuing to work out when there is no real reward for doing it.

Then run, running is one of the best workouts for this kind of thing, it's fun and it costs literally nothing.

Christanon 05/27/18 (Sun) 19:28:44 1cf426 No.653902

>>653894

If I am 100% destined to go to Hell, how could I serve God in any meaningful way? Furthermore, if I'm 100% destined to go to Hell, why shouldn't I kill myself and save everyone some time and potential damages?

>>653899

Fair enough, I'll give it a go.

Christanon 05/27/18 (Sun) 19:54:34 a354b0 No.653914

>>653902

I don't know what your idea of "meaningful" is, but you have already said that you know your logic is flawed, which it is… So either throw out that twisted logic and start thinking straight, or admit there's no way you can be convinced out of your ideas by logic.

Flip your perspective around: if you were going to kill yourself and go to hell anyway, why not buy some time to do the little good that you can? Do you see how your argument cuts both ways. And it's not a sound argument that you're making, anyway, because "saving time" is only good to the extent that it frees you for doing more good. Hardly justifies a headlong leap into the unending fire of God's wrath… Which is obvious to everyone including you. And people in hell hurt one another all the time, forever… it can never help, even a little, in any way whatsoever, even in theory, for an organ of the body of Christ to abandon the body and flee to perdition. You're feebly holding together this position with whatever word salad you can concoct at the moment as long as it sounds persuasive to you at first glance… Sad!

Throw out all this fetid rotten "thought" and fall in love again. Forget the future, forget yourself, and spend the present with Love Himself. That's how you renew your mind and make sense of things… All the methods and gimmicks and failsafe plans you seem to want are going to be a clanging cymbal if you don't have love.

Christanon 05/27/18 (Sun) 21:08:21 60a8e1 No.653941

>>653888

Fapping is a made up sin, especially with pron included. It is a thing that steal your time and energy, and can lead to REAL sins. Denying sexuality is a waste of time

Christanon 05/27/18 (Sun) 21:57:29 02aeb2 No.653956

File: c414ba3dbfe1f7f⋯.jpg (108.37 KB, 720x720, 1:1, 1508787580443.jpg)

>>653870

Try this:

first week 1 fap, second no fap, third fap, forth no fap, repeat

after you feel sure that you can handle one week without fap try 2 weeks no fap and then 1 week fap

after you feel sure about 2 weeks no fap try 3 weeks no fap. The ride starts! From now it will be challenging and probably you will fail. Keep it up until the 3 weeks are over.

Example: during the 3 weeks no fap period you "accidentally" touch your balls and the craze starts and you fap. It`s ok, you only did it once. Keep not fapping till the end of the 3 week period.

If you fail to finish your 3 weeks you should start considering the 2 weeks back again until you find the courage to take 3 weeks.

Keep pushing and don`t cry. Failure happens, it is normal. You only loose when you give up. It`s your dick we`re talking about ffs.

After you find it easy to hold yourself for 3 weeks try 4. If you fail conider 2 weeks no fap or 3 weeks no fap. After 4,raise it up to 5, after 5 make it 6 and so on.

>b-but anon, i spent already a lot of time on not fapping and it doesn`t work

It took me 5 long hard annoying years to definitely get rid of fapping. Praying to God won`t do much, you have to prove Him that you are willing to fight back. It`s up to you and your strength to pull it off. God can only forgive you in this action. God is proud you are fighting but it has to be you who is carrying the battle, not God.

Try my method, it`s probably the best. Best of luck!

P.S. Stop watching anime or porn or whatever you get you inspiration from. If not permanent censorship then at least lower the time spent watching

Christanon 05/27/18 (Sun) 22:30:02 1cf426 No.653961

>>653914

> why not buy some time to do the little good that you can? Do you see how your argument cuts both ways.

Because it has no lasting or ultimate effect on people beyond the moment.

>You're feebly holding together this position with whatever word salad you can concoct at the moment as long as it sounds persuasive to you at first glance

I disagree, but I will admit that Hell is far worse than here, so there is no need to rush.

>Forget the future, forget yourself, and spend the present with Love Himself. That's how you renew your mind and make sense of things… All the methods and gimmicks and failsafe plans you seem to want are going to be a clanging cymbal if you don't have love.

That's easier said than done, friend. I'm not in the best state of affairs, even by poor people standards, so I have a lot to think about and work on. I'll make time though and give it a shot. Thanks for being honest.

>>653941

>Fapping is a made up sin

Wrong

>>653956

Thanks for the suggestion. I'll consider it, if all else fails. I'd prefer just finding a way to stop cold turkey.

Christanon 05/28/18 (Mon) 02:45:17 a7ecdd No.654038

File: 2e017a5734831c8⋯.jpg (868.42 KB, 1562x4158, 71:189, bodyweight.jpg)

File: 1bb8c8d8d03a6b6⋯.png (2.1 MB, 2560x1683, 2560:1683, christian reading.png)

>>653870

Romans 5

6You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. 8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

9Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! 10For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 11Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

You are saved no matter how much porn you look at. Period. End of story. You are ALREADY saved, and Jesus personally paid the price.

>tricks of Satan

Exactly. Focus on this, don't brush it off.

>I wanted to get some thoughts on it.

Fapping takes time. Time you can never get back. What are you doing with your life, or if you weren't looking at porn, what would you want to do?

Focus on that and the porn should greatly diminish. Cut off sexual websites/bad influences/ungodly stress from your life and it should be gone.

Find time to pray, to worship, to study and read the Bible.

Fix your habits, your diet, your posture, your intellectual life. Pic is a good place to start.

I personally just finished this book, it was greatly edifying!

http://www.oodegr.com/english/filosofia/nihilism_root_modern_age.htm

Praying for you brother!

Christanon 05/28/18 (Mon) 03:54:47 02aeb2 No.654046

>>653961

>stop cold turkey

(It's me, the guy with the weeks method)

The logic is that you do it gradually. Abrupt cessation will never work. Trust me. The only way it would work is if you have your hands tied up to a wall at distance. Take it slow. Never expect great results fast.

Christanon 05/28/18 (Mon) 05:05:48 9e221f No.654069

Try the P90X program. I did the "light" version of the program for 45 days, then started over with the "medium" program for the full 90. Then I did it 2-3 times per week to maintain. It totally changed my life, and I was lifting almost 2x as much weight when I returned to the typical gym life. The best part was the increase in my confidence and feeling like I was 100% in control of how my body weight was carried. Getting somewhat ripped and having a 1000% increase in attention from women (and men, no homo) was a nice bonus, but not nearly as important.

Christanon 05/28/18 (Mon) 05:20:07 0ac698 No.654078

“Keep Thy Mind in Hell and Despair Not”

-St. Silouan of Mt. Athos

Christanon 05/28/18 (Mon) 10:34:17 38ebe0 No.654157

File: 1bb0325c84022d4⋯.jpg (68.24 KB, 300x466, 150:233, line2.jpg)

>>653870

>I know every heart individually. I do not expect that you won’t ever make mistakes. I simply ask that you trust Me enough to give it all to Me, and then see what I will do. My mercies are new every day, and your sins, when asked to be forgiven, will always be forgiven if your heart is sincere in repentance.

>https://z3news.com/w/line-drawn-wait-choose-wholeheartedly-eternal-fate-chosen/

So whether we live or die we make it our life’s passion to live our lives pleasing to him. For one day we will all be openly revealed before Christ on his throne so that each of us will be duly recompensed for our actions done in life, whether good or worthless. (2 Corinthians 5:9-10)