I feel you, I was raised by a single mother.
I was never even baptised, but I became Orthodox at 20. And I can guarantee you I have a spiritual strenght that can only come from continuous mental torture and a spirtual weakpoints that can only come from it also.
Rejoice, the Lord gave you such pains for your growth and to mold you.
>Once, when the Holy Fathers were making predictions about the last generation, they said, “What have we ourselves done?” One of them, the great Abba Ischyrion replied, “We ourselves have fulfilled the commandments of God.” The others replied, “And those who come after us, what will they do?” He said, “They will struggle to achieve half our works.” They said, “And to those that come after them, what will happen?” He said, “The men of that generation will not accomplish any works at all and temptation will come upon them; and those who will persevere in that day will be greater than either us or our fathers”.
Be the few, my friend. Also, Hebrews 12:6-11